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Curious how other families do cross-country visits. I’m more interested in how grands visit their kids/grandkids, but if you want to talk about when your kids visit you, that’s fine too.
If you want a template, here are example questions, answer whichever, or none:
Which side of the family? Son and DIL, or daughter and SIL?
How old/how many grandchildren?
What approximate age and how mobile are you? Young and can walk miles, or senior and are limited or need special assistance?
How often do you visit? How often do they visit? How long are visits?
Where do you stay? Guest room? Kid’s room? Hotel?
Who decides activities? Do you go along with the normal family stuff? Do they make special plans for you? Do you make special plans for them?
How is the household handled? Do they do all the cooking and cleaning? Do you help out? Do you cook a special dish or prepare a meal?
How do you find your way around stuff? Do you hunt through the kitchen for utensils or spices? Can you find extra toilet paper or shampoo? Do you know where the laundry baskets or fire extinguishers are? Or is all that handled by your hosts?
How are the kids managed? Their house, their rules/schedule? Special allowances made for grandma/grandpa visiting?
How are logistics handled? How do you get to/from transportation? Do you rent a car? Borrow theirs? Get picked up/dropped off at airports and bus/train stations? Uber?
Curious how other families do cross-country visits. I’m more interested in how grands visit their kids/grandkids, but if you want to talk about when your kids visit you, that’s fine too.
If you want a template, here are example questions, answer whichever, or none:
Which side of the family? Son and DIL, or daughter and SIL?
How old/how many grandchildren?
What approximate age and how mobile are you? Young and can walk miles, or senior and are limited or need special assistance?
How often do you visit? How often do they visit? How long are visits?
Where do you stay? Guest room? Kid’s room? Hotel?
Who decides activities? Do you go along with the normal family stuff? Do they make special plans for you? Do you make special plans for them?
How is the household handled? Do they do all the cooking and cleaning? Do you help out? Do you cook a special dish or prepare a meal?
How do you find your way around stuff? Do you hunt through the kitchen for utensils or spices? Can you find extra toilet paper or shampoo? Do you know where the laundry baskets or fire extinguishers are? Or is all that handled by your hosts?
How are the kids managed? Their house, their rules/schedule? Special allowances made for grandma/grandpa visiting?
How are logistics handled? How do you get to/from transportation? Do you rent a car? Borrow theirs? Get picked up/dropped off at airports and bus/train stations? Uber?
Thanks!
To answer your questions:
Which side of the family? Somewhat complicated situation. Our son-in-law (actually ex son-in-law) has custody of the kids. They used to live closer to us but he moved to the other side of the country.
How many grandkids? We have 3 of them and they are all teenagers.
Our ages? I'm about to become a septuagenerian and my husband is already one. How mobile? So far I'm doing okay but my husband has arthritis in both knees, so he doesn't get around very well.
How often do we visit? They moved away two years ago and so far we've been visiting once a year.
Each time we stay a week and come during the kids' spring break from school.
Where do we stay when visiting? We always book a hotel.
How is the household handled? Since we are only in their apartment for visiting and hanging out, they do the chores. If we want a cold drink or a snack, they tell us to help ourselves. If we need a certain item while in their apartment, we just ask them if they have it.
How are the kids managed? We've always left that up to their parents.
How do we get to/from transportation? The first trip we made, we drove cross country. The second trip, we flew out there and reserved a rental car. So we drove ourselves to and from the airport.
Forgot to answer this question --- Who handles activities? We talk amongst ourselves to see what they might want to do. While we are there, we take them out to dinner every night. We let them know which restaurants interest us (can be anything from fast food to a nice sit-down meal) and they tell us what interests them. This last trip our son-in-law said he wanted to go to a restaurant that we never heard of but had been around for years. Like always, we tell him to make any reservations so no worries about anything conflicting with his work schedule.
Curious how other families do cross-country visits. I’m more interested in how grands visit their kids/grandkids, but if you want to talk about when your kids visit you, that’s fine too.
If you want a template, here are example questions, answer whichever, or none:
Which side of the family? Son and DIL, or daughter and SIL?
How old/how many grandchildren?
What approximate age and how mobile are you? Young and can walk miles, or senior and are limited or need special assistance?
How often do you visit? How often do they visit? How long are visits?
Where do you stay? Guest room? Kid’s room? Hotel?
Who decides activities? Do you go along with the normal family stuff? Do they make special plans for you? Do you make special plans for them?
How is the household handled? Do they do all the cooking and cleaning? Do you help out? Do you cook a special dish or prepare a meal?
How do you find your way around stuff? Do you hunt through the kitchen for utensils or spices? Can you find extra toilet paper or shampoo? Do you know where the laundry baskets or fire extinguishers are? Or is all that handled by your hosts?
How are the kids managed? Their house, their rules/schedule? Special allowances made for grandma/grandpa visiting?
How are logistics handled? How do you get to/from transportation? Do you rent a car? Borrow theirs? Get picked up/dropped off at airports and bus/train stations? Uber?
Thanks!
We live in NE, son is in the South DD in the West coast. DD and family just left after visiting for 2 weeks split between us and inlaws who are in the state, with whom we have a nice relationship. They rent a car, and we do meals as we please, I cook their favorite meals, we eat out. They slept at home. The kids are close to college age. They make plans with cousins and grands and gone all day. I love that reprieve to tell you the truth, and sometimes we eat with inlaws or take everyone out to dinner. It is a bit stressful but we enjoy the visits and miss them terribly when they leave.
My son and DIL just had a baby so we visied, rented an apartment and car. With baby not much going out. At other times we stayed in the house, we could use one son’s carand mostly hang out together. 2 weeks.
We both are quite healthy and can get around. I do most of the driving and planning for what the two of will do.
We fly to both places.
At DD we sleep in the guest room. It is getting a little full now so next visit we will rent a place.
We visit whenever good for them. Mostly holidays with DD, Fall with Son.
Curious how other families do cross-country visits. I’m more interested in how grands visit their kids/grandkids, but if you want to talk about when your kids visit you, that’s fine too.
If you want a template, here are example questions, answer whichever, or none:
Which side of the family? Son and DIL, or daughter and SIL?
How old/how many grandchildren?
What approximate age and how mobile are you? Young and can walk miles, or senior and are limited or need special assistance?
How often do you visit? How often do they visit? How long are visits?
Where do you stay? Guest room? Kid’s room? Hotel?
Who decides activities? Do you go along with the normal family stuff? Do they make special plans for you? Do you make special plans for them?
How is the household handled? Do they do all the cooking and cleaning? Do you help out? Do you cook a special dish or prepare a meal?
How do you find your way around stuff? Do you hunt through the kitchen for utensils or spices? Can you find extra toilet paper or shampoo? Do you know where the laundry baskets or fire extinguishers are? Or is all that handled by your hosts?
How are the kids managed? Their house, their rules/schedule? Special allowances made for grandma/grandpa visiting?
How are logistics handled? How do you get to/from transportation? Do you rent a car? Borrow theirs? Get picked up/dropped off at airports and bus/train stations? Uber?
Thanks!
I have one daughter that lives in the same town I do, but her oldest (who just turned 21) lives in Phoenix (a 7 hour drive) and I have one daughter that lives in Delaware with her husband and 2 kids. I have gone to spend at least a week with them every August for my grandson's birthday. His little sister just turned 3 and her birthday is in June. I just mail her a big package becuase I work and can't take time off for both. I will be retiring in 5 weeks so I will not make it for my grandson's birthday this year. I will go for Thanksgiving instead. My grandson will be 11 this year. I stay in their guest room (they have a huge house)
They pick me up from the airport and I ride with my daughter, unless she has to work then I have the car to take the kids somewhere if we plan that.
When I am visiting Delaware my daughter decides what activities we do revolving around the birthday party, then we often take a short sight seeing trip. One year we went to Washington D.C. and another year we went to Chincoteague Island in Virginia. Usually we just go some place close but we have been to NY city and Philadelphia, as well as local light houses and state parks.
My daughter and I like to cook so we always find a new recipe to try. Last year we tried to recreate her Grandma's biscuits (my mother in law made the best biscuits ever, though she couldn't cook without opening a can to save her life) My daughter keeps her kitchen organized very similar to the way I keep mine.
The kids stay on their same schedule as much as possible but both parents work so I get to spend at least one day with just the kids. We usuallyl stay home, but I have taken my grandson swimming and to the library when it was just him.
The daughter that lives in town has another son who will be 13 in November. I see them quite a bit.
What about you? Do you have children or grandchildren that live away from where you live?
We have sons. One is a recent college grad with his own tiny apartment. We plan to stay in a hotel when we visit him.
The other is in college and we, obviously, also stay in a hotel when we visit him.
Even when they are older and more established, I think we'll actually be cool with the idea of us staying at a hotel and meeting up with the kids for adventures. We'll treat them to a dinner or two out and they can treat us to meals back at their place.
We'll adjust things as needed when they get married and grandchildren start to come along. I'm sure we'll enjoying babysitting them and getting to know them while their parents get a much need break.
We have 5 grown married children, 4 of those families have children and they live in 3 different states.
We visit each 2-4 times a year.
We fly to the one who is on the other side of the country and will rent a car and stay at a nearby hotel for 4-5 nights.
We drive to the ones who are 5-9 hours away and stay for a long weekend. We used to stay in the guest bedrooms but now they are used by our grandkids so we also stay in a nearby hotel. Of the four families, we have 2 + 2 + 4 + 6 grandkids. 14 so far.
We are the low drama grandparents. We go to help out if needed. Usually there is a to do list for Grandpa to fix things around the house. We do whatever they normally do so some times it's just hanging out at the ball fields and watching the kids do their sports. I never cook at their homes but we will usually pay for meals, either all of us going out to dinner or we'll pick up food for everyone and eat at the house. Sometimes we'll take the kids out for a treat or birthday shopping. Our families are active so we usually do some long walks or hikes. We're 65 and also still active.
One of my daughters likes to plan outings every weekend. They're always going to festivals, touristy places or amusement parks. Whatever she plans, we do. Always fun.
Of course we follow their family rules and just "fit in" with their schedules. They're all different and that's okay. They don't really want us to help with cleaning, probably the most I do is encourage the grandkids to pick up after themselves.
I have one daughter, married and one granddaughter, 13.
Before covid I would fly every spring break to CA and stay with Olivia, while the parents went to Cabo. I always had some time before and after with the kids. Now they come out here on spring break or in the summer. My Dad is 94 and is my neighbor. I have 1 acre, he has 9. It's important for my daughter and granddaughter to see him, he won't fly and I'm finding flying exhausting. Last August they were due to come out and daughter got Covid and my Dad and I had it that June. She got a credit and they came out in March this year. Of course my SIL is always welcome, but he's a workaholic. It was great seeing them as it had been 2 years. They usually take over my house, I don't mind. We share cooking, I make her favorites and the 13 yr old fends for herself very well.
What about you? Do you have children or grandchildren that live away from where you live?
Which side of the family:
I’m the son. I live with my wife and two children. Only my mother is able to visit. We live across the country from her. How old/how many grandchildren:
2 Elementary Schoolers. What approximate age and how mobile are you?
Their grandmother is mobile and can walk miles. How often do you visit? How often do they visit? How long are visits?
We used to visit for about one week at Christmas and she used to visit for about one week at spring break.
This year, she visited for one month across Christmas and New Years and intends to visit for another month at the end of school. Where do you stay?
We used to stay in her house.
She stayed in a rental. Who decides activities?
When we visited she asked us to go to church and to visit her friends.
When she visited she asked us to go to church and to visit other relatives who live several hours drive away.
We plan all other family activities. How is the household handled?
She asked DW to help her cook when we visited.
She asked DW to cook most of the meals when she visited.
She asked us to go out to eat.
We pay for most of the meals and groceries. How do you find your way around stuff?
When we visited with her we mostly bought our own food and supplies, but we stored them in her pantry and refrigerator.
When she visited she bought some groceries for herself but also took food from our refrigerator and pantry to take to her place. How are the kids managed?
When we visited it was her house her rules.
At her rental it was her house her rules.
At our house it is our rules, though the kids try to go to grandma to get permission for things we won’t allow them. How are logistics handled? How do you get to/from transportation?
When we visited, we flew, rented a car, and drove ourselves.
When she visited, she flew, we picked her up, we drove her around, and she borrowed our car when we could spare it.
Family is always happy to come to visit in sunny Florida.
I have not (chosen to be) out of this small county in 2 years.
It does work right? With only RT airfares or driving costs to bear ... it's almost practical too.
Well, so long as the adult children can manage the time away from their responsibilities
and until the growing grands want their time away to visit other places altogether.
It all comes down to just how much time away from their lives they each can manage.
Working age adults and juvenile grandchildren will rarely have a lot of time away from their day to day lives to spare.
So, the topic Q comes down to accommodation's for the GP's NEAR them instead. Right?
It's interesting to see the wide variety of solutions and how they will vary over time too.
Cool thread.
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Bait that trap!
