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I'm almost 74 and thinking WAY down the road . I have a current Will that basically leaves everything to my 3 children. I have 7 grand-kids and 2 step-grand kids The grand kids range in age from 15 to 26 and the step grand kids are 30+.
Am I wrong in putting the burden on my kids to distribute to their kids as they see fit ?
It is completely up to you. Most of my friends & relatives have divided their estates evenly among their children. But I do know that others have included specific amounts of money for each grandchild in their will.
It may also depend on how many kids each child has. A couple that I know well has four grandchildren from one child, two grandchildren for another child and their third child will never have children. In addition to that discrepancy, the first child is barely making ends meet and the third child is extremely successful. Quite a lot to think about. Is it really fair to everyone if the estate is just divided three ways? Hmmm.
With grandchildren & step-grandchildren, you may want to have more input in how they receive (or don't receive) money from your estate. Perhaps you could gift an equal amount to each before you die?
As a side note, I am part of a widow/widowers grief support group. I have been shocked by the people who said that after their spouses died their step-children and/or step-grandchildren never spoke to them again (after the funeral). A few of these were couples who were married 25 to 35 years who raised the step-children together (although it seemed to be more common with shorter marriages)
I suggest you talk it over with the lawyer who created your will, or another lawyer if the original one is not available. He or she can give you suggestions that posters on this board may not have thought of, or that may not apply in your state.
I am hopefully going to have what's left go into my granddaughter's (or divided if there is more) college savings account(s). I'm not overly fond of my SIL and I'll be damned if I want him to get any of our money should they divorce. Both DD and SIL make excellent money at their jobs, so don't really need it anyway. DD is ok with this plan. We don't have a ton but who knows how much college will cost in 20 years. I would do some of it now, but not sure what we will need in the future.
I'm almost 74 and thinking WAY down the road . I have a current Will that basically leaves everything to my 3 children. I have 7 grand-kids and 2 step-grand kids The grand kids range in age from 15 to 26 and the step grand kids are 30+.
Am I wrong in putting the burden on my kids to distribute to their kids as they see fit ?
I think this is common for most people. The only person I knew who gave to the grands was extremely wealthy. She gave each grand child 1m, and the rest to her kids, which was greater than 1m each.
I'm almost 74 and thinking WAY down the road . I have a current Will that basically leaves everything to my 3 children. I have 7 grand-kids and 2 step-grand kids The grand kids range in age from 15 to 26 and the step grand kids are 30+.
Am I wrong in putting the burden on my kids to distribute to their kids as they see fit ?
No, you are not wrong. However, only you know your children/grandchildren and family dynamics. Keep in mind financial circumstances can and do change, but if your children are fairly stable, making them the only beneficiaries is common.
If you would like to include your grandchildren as beneficiaries in your will, one way is to make bequests of specific dollar amounts or percentages to them. You can also create a separate document such as a gift statement which lists personal property items so that they are distributed to specific beneficiaries. This works well for art, china, a car or boat, dad's golf clubs, etc. Make sure you sign and date it and attach it to your will.
Choosing an executor/personal representative and an alternate you trust is critical.
Last edited by PerditaPanthera; 06-08-2020 at 01:49 AM..
There is nothing that's wrong with addressing grandchildren in a will.
My wife and I have one 32 year old daughter, and she's got two children. We have full and permanent custody of her 8 year old daughter, and her 12 year old son is here every other weekend.
Our daughter is bi-polar and has other behavioral disorders like ODD and a borderline personality disorder. She's up and down emotionally, and she just has a terrible and volatile behavior. The only people that put up with her are drug addicts, drug dealers and criminals. She has very bad judgement, and cannot be trusted with money.
Whatever our daughter would stand to inherit will be put into trust to take care of the children--special needs trust. We hate to do that, however we've spent a small fortune legally and taking care of the kids is our priority.
My wife's got another daughter that will raise the 8 year old if something happens to us--or if we become incapacitated. She will also be well taken care of in our will. The other grandkids are in their 20's and 30's and will have to fend for themselves.
I would be lucky if my in-laws left their grandchildren anything, but I am pretty certain they are leaving everything they have to people who aren't even related to them. Just insanity.
My maternal grandfather had four children and I believe ten or eleven grandchildren. In his will, he stated that he did not wish to leave anything to his children as they were "more than able to care for themselves." Everything was divided among us grandchildren. As far as I can tell, that didn't cause any problems, as it was done fairly. And the amount of money was not large--I believe we each got something like $7000, in the 1970s.
My father's will gave everything to be divided among his children, with the provision that if any of them predeceased him, their share would be divided among their children (we all had children). One of my sisters predeceased my dad, so her share was divided among her four children.
My mother-in-law is still alive, and her trust divides everything between her two sons. When she had this written up, she asked them which they would rather do, in the event that they predeceased her: have their share given to their spouse, or divided among their children. My husband chose his spouse (me); my brother-in-law chose his children.
In general, I'm opposed to leaving more to one child than another, simply because "that one needs it more." If there was a true falling-out, or genuine reason to believe one child will squander or misuse the money (drug addiction, etc.), then maybe, but otherwise no.
I have a friend, a widow with four adult children, who told me that she intends to leave her house to the youngest child, who has always been her favorite, because "otherwise she couldn't afford to live in this area." Two of the other children also don't live in this area because they can't afford it, and the rest of my friend's assets are not nearly enough to compensate the other three children for the value of the house. I would never dream of doing something like that; to me it sounds like a recipe for fostering resentment and ill-will in the family, unless they are all much better people than I am.
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. I have a current Will that basically leaves everything to my 3 children. I have 7 grand-kids and 2 step-grand kids The grand kids range in age from 15 to 26 and the step grand kids are 30+.
