Nine year old Tennesee Girl taken from parents and delivered in the care of ex-con bio-father (birth, baby)
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The parents fought to keep her, as any parents would. She wants to stay with her family. I think that her wishes should be respected.
She is not a piece of property. So bio-dad is out of jail now, and wants to get his property back?
There is also the fact that the child is accustomed to a certain type of lifestyle.
He screwed up and was sent to prison and now she has to pay for his mistake, by exchanging a happy life with two loving, financially stable parents for a house that reeks of mold and cigaret smoke? She's in another part of the country, her life has been ripped from her; and no one on this forum sees anything wrong with this.
I'm appalled.
Of course she isn't a piece of property. Likewise, she isn't for sale to people who may have more material things to offer her. She belongs with her biological father unless circumstances indicate he is unfit, which they have not. This man has a lot of support also, including several people who live in the town the adoptive parents reside in.
This is one side of the story, written in a way to create the most drama and outrage.
The lesson learned here is that no one should attempt any adoption unless and until every single legal requirement is met. The girl is the one who has to suffer from the adoptive parents thinking they would win this legal battle. Too many times we see cases like this. Seems like it is a case of It is better to Ask for Forgiveness than to Ask for Permission. I can certainly understand falling in love instantly with a child you plan to adopt but untill all the i's have been dotted and the t's crossed it is very dangerous. Used to be when a baby was placed for adoption it was placed with a foster family right away til the "change her mind" period had passed so prospective parents didn't have their hearts ripped out.
They didn't steal her. He allowed her to be taken by her caregiver. He never filed a missing person report, no Amber alert, nada. His last conviction was his third incarceration!! He and his girlfriend (Grace's mother) each had protective/restraining orders placed on each other (what a family dynamic!). When he was arrested this last time, again, where was bio grandma?? Apparently the nanny saw something that was way off for her to even take the child to Tennessee!! AND, what parent allows a newly hired nanny to take their child hundreds of miles away to stay with people they've never met?
Grace is begging to be returned to her adoptive parents. There have been no criminal charges filed against the nanny or the adopters. The only criminals in this case are bio dad and the judge!
They didn't steal her. He allowed her to be taken by her caregiver. He never filed a missing person report, no Amber alert, nada. His last conviction was his third incarceration!! He and his girlfriend (Grace's mother) each had protective/restraining orders placed on each other (what a family dynamic!). When he was arrested this last time, again, where was bio grandma?? Apparently the nanny saw something that was way off for her to even take the child to Tennessee!! AND, what parent allows a newly hired nanny to take their child hundreds of miles away to stay with people they've never met?
Grace is begging to be returned to her adoptive parents. There have been no criminal charges filed against the nanny or the adopters. The only criminals in this case are bio dad and the judge!
Agree complexity! Yes, the family dynamic sounds just lovely...
However, the one who is paying most dearly for those mistakes is the child.
It seems that some people, including this judge; stubbornly ascribe to the antiquated "children as property" and "a child is always best with her biological kin" schools of thought.
This little girl is telling us who she wants to live with. It is tragic that no one is listening to her.
If one truly is an adoption advocate illegal adoptions should be highly discouraged. There is no ideal resolution to this case. The foster parents went forward with this adoption knowing the biological father had not and would not terminate parental rights. Honestly it's beyond arrogant to think that you have the right to steal someone else's child.
I happen to think that it's beyond arrogance to believe that because a person is able to have children that they always have the right to raise those children.
It is also arrogant to refuse to listen to the pleas of a child, in terms of where she wants to live.
In many countries - Ukraine, for example; a ten year old has the right to decide where she will live, and to refuse an adoption if she does not connect with the adoptive parents.
There seems to be a huge "Dysfunctional Family and Screwed Up Parents Rights Group" on city data.
Everyone else on earth is on the side of this child.
I happen to think that it's beyond arrogance to believe that because a person is able to have children that they always have the right to raise those children.
Once you adopt children LEGALLY, you have the same rights to always raise that child as parents with biological children.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sheena12
It is also arrogant to refuse to listen to the pleas of a child, in terms of where she wants to live.
If the kidnappers had returned her years ago when they were told to do so, the child's answer would be different.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sheena12
In many countries - Ukraine, for example; a ten year old has the right to decide where she will live, and to refuse an adoption if she does not connect with the adoptive parents.
The daughter isn't being adopted by her biological father.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sheena12
There seems to be a huge "Dysfunctional Family and Screwed Up Parents Rights Group" on city data.
Everyone else on earth is on the side of this child.
That's not true. Only wherever you are reading. Many people are horrified these "adoptive" parents did this to this child.
Several of you have referred to the Adoptive Parents as kidnappers. That is ridiculous. The fathers rights were terminated due to his 15 yr prison sentence and then this family adopted the child legally. After he was paroled, a judge overturned the decision. The legal system and all of the judges involved are at fault here as not one has taken into account the best interest of the child.
This is where adoption advocates begin to loose people. If adoption is to remain a viable solution for people who want to parent, the knee-jerk reaction that all foster parents or adopters have the high ground in these situations really doesn't serve adoption well.
The father fought for and won original custody.
It is stated he hired a trusted family friend to babysit while he was at work. She took the girl for a week --- then because of problems with HER husband refused to return; passed the girl off to HER mother, who passed her off to 'friends'. During this time the father and grandmother were attempting to get her back. Everyone knew this.
Why when these foster parents fight for the girl are they saints, yet the father & grandmother who do the same are fighting over property and just want food stamps & welfare?
Why are 9 yr olds are not mature enough to decide if they want to keep their given names when adopted, but are then the best judge of life altering decisions? Does a pony really weigh more than than other intangibles?? Would she know?
Why is this adoption 'right' despite being built on what amounted to kidnapping by a babysitter[after she refused to return] and her mother? Why is the argument geared to demonizing the girl's father & grandmother rather than recognizing the unethical behaviors of others involved?
Does the end really justify the means in adoption? Is this really the bottom line for adoption advocates? Can we honestly expect support of the courts and public opinion when adoption becomes a contest about who's house smells better? when ethical questions and legalities are ignored in favor of holding on to a child illegally until the "lifestyle" they have become accustomed to weighs more than the facts of legal custody?
People who believe in adoption need to believe in ethics and laws.
Everyone may be on the side of this child - but that doesn't mean they are on the side of the foster parents -- adoption is not a team sport.
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