Is there a shortage of men who want to adopt? (birth mother, options)
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I thought about adoption before I got pregnant, but DH was very strongly against the idea of raising kids that weren't his.
Later my brother and his wife got divorced shortly after having a baby, and neither really wanted the poor kid. My dad recommended that we adopt him, since we were still childless, and DH was opposed to that too. He wouldn't even let me adopt my own nephew! (So the maternal grandparents raised him.)
A British friend also recommended that we adopt. I said DH was firmly against it. She said that she had the same problem with her own husband.
I thought it was just our husbands, but is the anti-adoption stance more common with men than women?
Something like 10% of Single Parent adoptions are Men.
Most are older children, Either from FosterCare, or Go overseas, (Non Family Adoptions)
But number of "Baby" adoptions are low, Agency have a preference for two parent home for babies, or Woman, Private Adoption of babies almost never goes to a man.
The obvious item on Single Parent adoption is childcare, Many Single Parents adopt older children who are school age.
I would not go so far as to say older children, and certainly think its ridiculous for anyone to "raise an eyebrow!"
At 25 I adopted my son who was 3 months old. At 26 I adopted my daughter who was also 3 months old.
Then, found a partner, and we worked on adding to our family. In 2013, we became the parents to a newborn daughter, sadly, she passed away r/t SIDS. Unexpectedly, thanks to FB, someone came up to us and literally offered to bring a child into the world for us, and did in 2014.
We are hoping to adopt a few times more.
*Why? Because nothing in life brings more joy than being a parent!
Male or female....
I have heard that more than once "He doesn't want to raise a child that isn't his." as since we adopted, women are sometimes curious and it turned out that they wanted to adopt when they couldn't conceive a child. I did have a young woman once that said "I don't want to raise someone else's child as I have nieces and nephews and can spend the money we have on them." Our son is our own child. There choice. I didn't bring the subject up and thought the comment was rude. I had a rude thought about her that I didn't express and won't express here.
I think in the future you may see more men adopt but in years past, it just wasn't done so as it gets out there that it is possible................
Yes, there are many more single women who apply to adopt than single men. But that does not necessarily mean there is a shortage : ) Most birth mothers I've worked with prefer a single woman or a "traditional" couple. However, some, if given the option, may choose a single father or a same sex couple. It's all about choices. And it should be the birth mother's choice!
Are there a lot more single women who would like to adopt, compared to single men?
I think the more pertinent question would be, "Are there a lot more single women who would like to have children, compared to single men?" Adoption is not an end to itself but rather a means to an end, the end being to have children.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tlarnla
I thought about adoption before I got pregnant, but DH was very strongly against the idea of raising kids that weren't his.
I have heard of many men who are very, very concerned about continuing their bloodline. I can understand this in cases where the man wants to perpetuate his hereditary kingdom, but it seems rather self-centered in most everyone else. In any case, I would recommend that their partners not try to fight it. It would be a grave disservice to a child to be adopted by someone who didn't really want them, since they "weren't his."
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Our son is our own child.
There choice. I didn't bring the subject up and thought the comment was rude. I had a rude thought about her that I didn't express and won't express here.