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That's the foster care fairy tale. The best possible outcome. Clearly an ad to recruit foster parents. The reality for most foster situations are so much different.
If they want to be able to secure more foster parents, start treating them like they *are* parents and have some say in the child's life...not just a babysitter that also happens to be a glutton for punishment. Because trust me, they are getting crap from all ends. Social services treats them like slaves without a brain in the bunch, often there is no bond with the bio parents and the foster and there is resentment from the bio parent. They are usually dealing with a lot of behavioral, mental health and health issues caused by the bio parents abuse of the child. It is often impossible for a foster parents to find the resources their foster kid needs. Rules can be so oppressive that it impairs the foster parent's ability to meet their foster kid's needs. They are forced to watch the child be re-traumatized all in the name of reunification, even if it will never work. And on and on.
They don't need a sappy news special. They need to readjust the way they regard foster parents.
Wow, how sad! I live in that circuit. We have talked about fostering older children once our own kids move out (they're teens now). I'm done with the toddler/preschooler phase of my life and don't wish to relive it, but I would be interested in fostering kids age 10+.
If you live in Bronx or Manhathan and wish to become a foster parent private message me. I am a home finder and work to certify qualified individuals and families to become foster parents
Foster care is very difficult, and not only do you have to deal with the children and any of their behavioral issues/trauma, your heart gets re-broken on a regular basis seeing the children go back to their abusive birth parents. It boggles my mind how people who physically, sexually & negligently abused their children can get them back in less than a year after taking a few classes on how not to be a piece of **** parent, rather than facing prison time.
My stepson and his wife are fostering my stepson's cousins. The goal is eventual adoption. The bio mom has repeatedly shown she's not up for the job.
I have such high regard for my stepson and his wife. Especially my DIL. Besides the 2 foster kids, there are 2 of my stepson's children still in the home. DIL is an excellent mother to all these kids, and she is loved.
The 2 foster kids have had a sad life up to moving in with stepson and DIL. The boy is 12. He's such a sweet kid. Wants to please...which in a way is kind of sad in itself. The little girl is 6, and displays behaviors that indicate she might've been sexually abused. But she's feisty, bright, and thriving in school.
They call us grandma and grandpa. :-) We love them.
Brian and Christy Beaver are saints. I honestly don't know how they do it. Their experiences with adopting from foster care are pretty much the same we have in our state.
Quote:
When they made the decision 11 years ago, they had two biological sons, ages 10 and 11. But Christy had always longed for a little girl.
They placed a foster-to-adopt application with the DHHR and began a six month process of background checks, finger printing and 40 hours of classes about fostering.
On their paperwork, they listed their preference as a girl under the age of 5. Their first placement was temporary — an 18-month-old girl whose foster family was going on vacation.
“She fit in from Day One. When she left, it was devastating,” Christy says. “But it made it more real. We knew that’s what we wanted.”
They were given a few more temporary placements over the next three years, but finally, they had a chance to adopt. At the last minute in the process, a family member stepped in to take custody.
The same happened the following year.
“It was heart-wrenching,” Brian said. “I was ready to walk away, but we talked about it and prayed about it, and realized maybe adoption wasn’t the path we were supposed to be on.”
Instead, the family decided they would clothe, feed, house and love the children God placed into their lives for however long He deemed fit.
It is my understanding that West Virginia has over 600 couples waiting for foster-to-adopt placements. Some wonder why they continue to certify foster-to-adopt families. I have to question if Brian and Christy Beaver will ever finalize an adoption from foster, especially since they been trained as a therapeutic foster parents. As of January 2018, there were 6,352 children in the state’s custody, with nearly 1,500 in therapeutic foster care, meaning the children have some sort of exceptional need, either physically or emotionally.
Given that at least 25% of drug addicted children will never return to their biological parents, you have to wonder why there are so many couples waiting for a placement. The math seems to indicate there are more than enough placements((6352 - 1500)*0.25 = 1213), but since placements don't occur you have to wonder what is going on.
Brian and Christy Beaver are saints. I honestly don't know how they do it. Their experiences with adopting from foster care are pretty much the same we have in our state.
It is my understanding that West Virginia has over 600 couples waiting for foster-to-adopt placements. Some wonder why they continue to certify foster-to-adopt families. I have to question if Brian and Christy Beaver will ever finalize an adoption from foster, especially since they been trained as a therapeutic foster parents. As of January 2018, there were 6,352 children in the state’s custody, with nearly 1,500 in therapeutic foster care, meaning the children have some sort of exceptional need, either physically or emotionally.
Given that at least 25% of drug addicted children will never return to their biological parents, you have to wonder why there are so many couples waiting for a placement. The math seems to indicate there are more than enough placements((6352 - 1500)*0.25 = 1213), but since placements don't occur you have to wonder what is going on.
Social workers do not have jobs if there are not kids in foster care. There is little incentive for them to finalize an adoption, lower their kids to worker count and then have a peer loose their job.
When I adopted from foster care the judge gave us a Nov date to finalize the adoption based on his court schedule. The placement social worker rescheduled it for 'after the holidays' because the count of kids on Jan 1 in the system set their worker number for the year. In the end that adoption as not finalized until March then as the judge was busy in Jan and Feb. My social worker (not the one in charge of the kid's placement) explained the situation to me.
So sad that the agency's kids count was more important than the kids being adopted before the holidays, and thus able to more freely travel out of state for adoptive family holiday events. And both the kid and family would not have to give up 5 more month of time for more home inspections and meetings!
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