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#0
I have a friend, Bob, who was adopted in the 50’s. His parents are deceased and he has no other family. I’m pretty much the only one who cares about him.
He’s had lots of health problems and is now in the hospital with pneumonia and sepsis. I’m afraid that he’s not going to make it.
A few years ago he made contact with some of his birth siblings, who were all also adopted, and he met his birth mother. He had contact with a brother and a sister for a while but for some reason it didn’t continue.
I’m having two issues I’m pondering. The first one is that his siblings may want to see him if he takes a turn for the worse and it doesn’t look like he is going to pull through. Should I bring this up to Bob or is it something I shouldn’t interfere with?
The other issue I’m wondering about is if these people should be located and notified if Bob passes? If so, how would I locate them without any info from Bob? Would it be out of line to ask about that? I know it’s a sensitive subject.
Speaking as an adult adoptee, contacting the bio family is totally Bob's decision. I'm sure that if it was something he wanted done, he would do it or ask you to do it and provide the necessary information.
I have been in contact with my bio mom, but not for many years now, and am in contact with my bio dad and his later children, but he would like more of a relationship than I am really comfortable with. I don't know how I would feel if a friend took it upon themselves to reach out to them if I was seriously ill.
If he is still alert and talking, I would just ask him, if you should notify anyone or if he has an address book that you should use in contacting people.
If he is not alert and talking, my recommendation is just to forget about his biological family members.
If he is still alert and talking, I would just ask him, if you should notify anyone or if he has an address book that you should use in contacting people.
If he is not alert and talking, my recommendation is just to forget about his biological family members.
I agree with this and if he is alert be quick about speaking to him - sepsis is a very serious condition and it can deteriorate very quickly.
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