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Have you had that happen? Much of what happened to me wasn't deliberate, it was just one person's mind trying to survive and then get free. I went online (lol) and took all kinds of mental health quizzes. I wasn't mentally ill according to the tests. If I would have actually believed my brain those tests would have been different. One of the questions was "do you believe you are receiving secret messages." I answered no because I figured the messages I was receiving were from myself playing a huge game of charades on me using the environment. More rudimentary and less clandestine.
At nine months into recovery I had a really weird two week period of depersonalization. It was as if half my brain was closed for repairs. I couldn't keep track of time or focus. Everything felt like it was coming at me and my mind had to relearn what was background and what was important. Usually our brains filter automatically but I started to have to choose. Then my brain went into a pattern detection hyper mode looking for clues to heal me, finally I had enough and started giving myself seek and find tasks that didn't rely on magical thinking.
Anything seem similar? What does it feel like when a person's entire worldview gets upended? It feels like it's not real. I think my mind did that to slow the process of realizations down to a level I could process.
Not exactly. My impression of depersonalization/derealization is it's a dropping of identity and without a replacement. For me it was a shift in identity.
What was disconcerting was what preceded it, and that was an amazingly disturbing (and empathic?) precognition "event".
It wasn't deliberate on my part either, just a decade of consciousness studies and secular meditation and something just happened, however I believe that decade prepared me to a degree even though I didn't know I was preparing for anything. Probably because something like I was "touching" that "space" occasionally while (just) sitting and familiarity with that "space: was just below the surface of conscious awareness. At least that's the best speculation I can put forth.
Last edited by JustASimpleGuy; 05-26-2023 at 07:51 AM..
Not exactly. My impression of depersonalization/derealization is it's a dropping of identity and without a replacement. For me it was a shift in identity.
What was disconcerting was what preceded it, and that was an amazingly disturbing (and empathic?) precognition "event".
It wasn't deliberate on my part either, just a decade of consciousness studies and secular meditation and something just happened, however I believe that decade prepared me to a degree even though I didn't know I was preparing for anything. Probably because something like I was "touching" that "space" occasionally while (just) sitting and familiarity with that "space: was just below the surface of conscious awareness. At least that's the best speculation I can put forth.
I call the ways I think about myself my identity. That's not really our identity IMO. I think of it like Sam Harris where the self is an illusion. It's not as if we don't really have a self or an identity it's just the ways we think of that is an illusion.
I call the ways I think about myself my identity. That's not really our identity IMO. I think of it like Sam Harris where the self is an illusion. It's not as if we don't really have a self or an identity it's just the ways we think of that is an illusion.
What did your identity change from/to?
One way to describe it is from local to non-local. Another way and from an emotional perspective is from a lost amnesiac to knowing (not in the intellectual sense) what and where I am. The best analogy though is the experience when a mundane dream transitions to a lucid dream. Snap, I'm (the Dreamer, not the dream character) really here! A shift to a higher identity/consciousness.
It was so blatantly obvious I had to laugh at not ever noticing it until then.
I call the ways I think about myself my identity. That's not really our identity IMO. I think of it like Sam Harris where the self is an illusion. It's not as if we don't really have a self or an identity it's just the ways we think of that is an illusion.
What did your identity change from/to?
The self that we think of us as us, like I am sad, i am poor, i am an artist, are not-self, not-atma. It is the Ego. It is not quite an illusion because it is real to us, it makes us suffer, and it hides our true nature which is fearless, joyful. We experience that Self, the Witness Consciousness at times even in the midst of anxiety and fear. That is our true self.
Meditation is useful to calm the mind, condition it to be receptive. But the destruction of the bond that the Ego holds on us and to realize our true self is understanding. Not experience. All experiences are not-atma, they fade, they change. Atma remains ever the same like a candle flame that is motionless in an airless room.
I didn't feel detached so much as it felt like I just found myself in this overwhelming data rich environment and had to figure it out. No, I passed the autism test, so it's not that. Maybe since it didn't last that long I didn't have to use the "detach" switch. Everything seemed like a movie and we are all actors but in a metaphor way.
i don't have a problem with us dreaming physical reality into existence.
It is when people start talking about "lucid dreaming" that i see that as a red flag, largely because of the fad where people seek to induce this state. it's right up there in my lack of credibility red flags, along with the use of psychotropics. i just don't see those fads as anything but distractions and deterrents. that is my view.
"lucid dreaming" ? and now "lucid waking" ?
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