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My father in law is in need of some sort of caregiver at this point - he has stage 4 Parkinsons and just had a mild stroke and broke his back (currently only having mild pain from the broken back and can still get around in a walker). His wife walks with a cane due to hip surgery and a recent broken leg and is just not able to help a whole lot.
We need someone to help him get dressed, shower, provide support as he walks on his walker - even help get in and out of bed. I have made my first call for caregiver asst and we have a meeting on Sunday.
They have quoted me a price of $16-$19 and hour. Has anyone used these types of services before? Is this reasonable? Also, I know they should be certified, have criminal background checks etc - but what other things should I look for? What kind of questions should I ask? Guidance from someone who has BTDT would be much appreciated!
That rate sounds reasonable to me. We hired one to help my mother for just a few days last summer. I don't remember the exact rate, but I think it was in that ballpark. I think I was told that agencies generally charge about $25.00 an hour for someone. We used a private individual who came very well recommended. The one other thing I would suggest is to check their references. If they do this professionally, they should be able to easily provide you with some and will likely have a resume with references.
That fee seems reasonable to me. Agencies charge far more here. We used an agency for my parents, and while I would say that all the people they sent were fine and the care provided was adequate, none of the caregivers was the right fit. Fit to me is essential. If your father in law is not happy and feeling comfortable with the person, it will not matter how much or how little they charge. This is someone who will be attending to his most personal needs. After my siblings and I sort of saw the writing on the wall with the agency, we decided to look for someone who was an independent contractor if you will. I knew that one of the neighbors had someone that was considered to be "amazing" and I just went and knocked on their door. I wanted to ask the person if she knew of anyone - friends or relatives - that was looking for work. Long story short, she herself was looking for work as the family that employed her to care for their mother was putting the mother into a home. I almost jumped up and down with excitement to think of our good fortune. Shirley joined our family that day, and provided both my parents a level of care that I consider to be Heaven sent. When they both passed we loved her so much we kept her on as sort of a housekeeper for my family, and we still have her.
The reason I ramble on a bit about all of this is that I think many people forget that you are not just hiring a caregiver. You are brining someone into the inner workings of your family in a way that most people are not used to. That person will be privy to your parents business, and yours. I say that the fee is really not what matters, although certainly you want it to be reasonable. I think what is imperative is that you keep interviewing people until you find one that is going to bring something to the job that is special, and who your in-laws will feel comfortable having in their home day in and day out. I would ask friends, neighbors and other caregivers in your area. I would check references of course. And then I would go with your gut instinct as to whether this person will be the best fit.
Thank you for your replies. This is very hard for my husband and I. My hubby is the youngest of 10, and we happen to live only 2 blocks from them. Therefore, most of the day to day stuff is falling on us (and my 16 and 22 year old children) and I am at the end of my rope here. His health has gone down and down and only 2 of the kids have made any effort.
You would think that having 10 children is a blessing in this situation. Unfortunately they have taken advantage of us living close by and they are all finally going to have to open their wallets and pay for his care now. (I am an only child and we took care of my mother for 6 years before she passed away so I am really, really tired).
On one hand I feel bad because I just cannot do this anymore for my mental sanity and he just needs more than I can give. I work full time and have my own family to care for too. Anyway, thanks the help.
Thank you for your replies. This is very hard for my husband and I. My hubby is the youngest of 10, and we happen to live only 2 blocks from them. Therefore, most of the day to day stuff is falling on us (and my 16 and 22 year old children) and I am at the end of my rope here. His health has gone down and down and only 2 of the kids have made any effort.
You would think that having 10 children is a blessing in this situation. Unfortunately they have taken advantage of us living close by and they are all finally going to have to open their wallets and pay for his care now. (I am an only child and we took care of my mother for 6 years before she passed away so I am really, really tired).
On one hand I feel bad because I just cannot do this anymore for my mental sanity and he just needs more than I can give. I work full time and have my own family to care for too. Anyway, thanks the help.
Sounds like you are doing all you can. So don't feel bad about needing to hire some help. Hopefully, you can get some good help. I agree with the other poster, dougnaie. It's good if you can find someone who knows someone. That's what we did and it worked out very, very well.
Here are a few questions I would ask:
1. Does the caregiver have any formal certifications (like LPN, CNA, EMT, CPR)?
2. Are they insured? Is there a background check available for you to see? Is their license/certification current (ask to see documents)?
3. How much experience do they have in elder caregiving?
4. Put in writing the job description of what you expect - note things such as frequency of bathing, whether or not they would administer or help with medications (depending upon their skill level), etc.
5. Would they be responsible for any household chores or tasks - if so, put those in writing too. Meals are a big one here.
6. How many hours a day would you pay for? If you can't afford round-the-clock caregivers, some type of Med-Alert system would be a good idea. My great-aunt has this one: Lifeline ® - the most trusted medical alert service provider
I hope you can find the perfect caregiver. You and your family are a real blessing to them!
I hear you about the sibling thing. Funny how it is. I am the youngest as well, and we lived directly next door to my parents. Most of the care fell to me, and at the time my girls were much younger. Basically I ran both households including meals and laundry. I got the brunt because I am a stay at home mom, so it appeared to everyone that I had the most time - HA! Anyway, I got over being upset about it because I realized that I could not make my siblings act how I wanted them to, and to be upset was just an exercise in futility.
Of course you are tired - you should be! You have a lot on your plate. I think getting someone in is a super idea. Possibly you can have a meeting between the siblings (at least those that can/will come) and lay out the responsibility for payment etc. I think the poster who outlined what to ask and look for has some good insights. I admit that I basically went off the recommendation of the family she worked for and my feelings. Obviously my parents input was the make or break. I did not ask anything about her licensing or her insurance...I knew that she had none of that, and for us that did not matter.
I think when you meet the right person for your inlaws, you and they will know. Remember that it may take a while, but the search is worth it. You don't want just a warm body in there, you want someone who is going to ease your burden, but more importantly ensure the dignity and care of your family members.
Hang in there. It will work out, and then you will have a minute to breathe!
Is your father in law a veteran? My father in law has been on the decline for a few years and was diagnosed with lung cancer about 6 months ago (he has since passed away), but what I want to tell you (or anyone else) is to look to the VA for assistance. For us, the veterans hospital was unbelievable, helpful both during his sickness and even after his death (they arranged the flag draped coffin at the gravesite) - was very moving! Anyway, please look into your local VA and see if he is entitled to any services that may have to offer.
I called a nursing facility near me and inquired about respite care for my mom. I was told that she could stay a minimum of three days, and the cost would be two hundred and fifty dollars per day.
My father in law is in need of some sort of caregiver at this point - he has stage 4 Parkinsons and just had a mild stroke and broke his back (currently only having mild pain from the broken back and can still get around in a walker). His wife walks with a cane due to hip surgery and a recent broken leg and is just not able to help a whole lot.
We need someone to help him get dressed, shower, provide support as he walks on his walker - even help get in and out of bed. I have made my first call for caregiver asst and we have a meeting on Sunday.
They have quoted me a price of $16-$19 and hour. Has anyone used these types of services before? Is this reasonable? Also, I know they should be certified, have criminal background checks etc - but what other things should I look for? What kind of questions should I ask? Guidance from someone who has BTDT would be much appreciated!
BTW - he does not need 'nursing' care.... yet.
I don't know if it is reasonable, but it is pretty much the going rate.
We pay between 125 to 150 a day for my dad's live-in caregivers.
The hourly rate goes down when you hire live in. It is still pretty expensive from my perspective, but if you can afford it, it's well worth it.
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