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With the rabid health degradation of my older sister early this year, followed by her hospitalization, then residency in a SNF, and death earlier this month, I have spent more time with my younger sister during this time than any other six month period in the past half century.
Simething isn't right with her.
My wife noticed it first and asked me if dementia ran in our family. Both Grandmothers suffered from it but not until their late 70's. My sister is 64.
I poo-poo'ed the idea saying she has always been social butterfly amd flighty at times. Besides, tasks always fell upon me fo completion when my sisters and I were growing up. My older sister would back out claiming a major school assignment. My younger sister would back out due to a social event with friends.
But then I started noticing things and remembering random events.
My younger sister has always had the directional instincts of a homing pigeon, putting me to shame at times, but she got lost driving between a friend's house and her motel room ladt Fall, in a city she visits frequently. It was dark and rainy that night so no one gave it much thought at the time.
My B-I-L has told me multiple times that he,wants my sister to retire soon as the strss of her job leaves her frazzled all the time, and she is forgetting things.
This past week she blew-off scheduled meetings with the head stone company and Pastor for our sister's service and instead spent hours on the computer to register for a half-marathon at Disney.
She sounds more flighty and disorganized than anything else and maybe a bit of a procrastinator who puts unpleasant things off hoping that others will get frustrated and just do it themselves.
Someone who can plan the logistics of attending a marathon in Disney has the wherewithal to do less fun, but necessary, business. She would just rather that others take care of that not so fun stuff.
It sounds as though she's been doing this sort of thing her entire life and it's really nothing all that new to her.
For the time being....I would just keep an eye on her. People are very stress out, with everything that is going on right now....maybe she just needs to blowoff some things at work, and take time to relax. I wonder sometimes about the health director, that I work with, at the gym. Often times she will ask me the same question over and over again.
I think people are worried about covid, the economy.....and their minds tend to wonder.
Yeah, it isn't unusual for people to mentally "retire" from their job before they actually retire. She's 64 and probably done with working but doesn't want to give up the paycheck just, yet.
My MIL was aware Alzheimer's might happen to her as her own mother had it.
She would always tell me to make sure she got to a doctor if there were any signs.
In 1996, I saw 2 signs. One - she was in our living room and kept turning around. She said to me - "I always get confused in your house where the front door is" (it was right in front of her).
Same year - we were at a restaurant and she got lost coming back from the restroom. She was 67.
I alerted my husband who tried to talk to his dad but his dad would not hear of it. Absolutely not. It took me 4 years to get her to a place where they could do the testing and yes, she had full blown Alzheimers.
It caused stress for me since I was constantly all over this and had no support.
She cried. It broke my heart.
I would get her checked out. Immediately.
Also, when my MIL was 64, she was an excellent worker; extremely organized. She was the lead admin assistant to the CEO of a large company in Miami. One day, she came home and told us they had told her that her services were no longer needed. She could not tell us why. This would have been 1993.
When we were cleaning out their home after my FIL passed away, we found the paperwork. She had mixed up an important schedule and forgot a few things. It looks like she was given warnings so the signs were there maybe a couple of years before.
I would ask her hubby to keep a close eye on her. Don't panic. Lots of things can cause memory issues (including grief), and we all get busy and forget appointments sometimes. Does she ask the same question minutes after you've answered it? That's a very common sign. Also, navigation is one of the first things that is often affected, so the getting lost in a familiar place could be a sign. Watch for things like forgetting a common word and using substitutes like using "hair thing" for comb, or "rolling basket" for a shopping cart. Another is the inability to follow a series of directions for something new or unfamiliar. Usually the most recent memories made are the first to go. Long term memories may never be lost.
Most people wouldn't have picked up on my MIL's dementia for years, but we did. She would ask for help finding things in her regular store that she should've known how to find. Like "where is the ice cream?". Uhmmmm, in the freezer case Mom? And buying the same thing several days in a row because she forget she already bought it. She ended up with 8 large bottles of hand lotion. It became all too clear one night, when she asked about 7 times, in one movie, for the name of one of the actors, and it was obvious she had no memory of asking before. The first time we sort of giggled, since we thought it was just a forgetful "senior moment", but 3 or 4 minutes later she asked again, and in about 10 more minutes she asked again. Each time it was not "Darn I forgot what you said his name was", or "Did I already ask his name?". Each time it was as if she was asking for the first time. So we just answered, and then she'd ask again and again. Our hearts were just sinking lower each time she asked. We were freaked out afterwards, and realized how much we had been missing by only spending a few hours with her at a time. Another peculiar symptom was wearing clothing inappropriate to the season. She was always cold, but she would wear a turtleneck and a big fluffy sweater when it was 90+ outside, and you couldn't convince her to choose a different, more appropriate, outfit.
Each case is different, some cases advance quickly, and some go very slowly. I wouldn't panic, but you could ask her hubby to call the doctor and have the doctor do a memory screening test for mild cognitive impairment at her next appointment. It's just a series of verbal questions, and a short quiz on paper. I think it's a Medicare requirement at some age (65?). If Doc says it's a requirement, she might not get insulted when the doctor suggests it.
Last edited by TheShadow; 06-23-2022 at 08:56 AM..
You say that she got lost in a city that she visits frequently. Was this the same hotel that she always visited? Or was it a new one? Is she used to driving at night in that particular area? If not, she probably couldn't see the familiar landmarks that have always kept her oriented.
Trying to find your way from a friend's house, in a city that you are visiting, at nighttime and missing a turn on the way back to a hotel is not that alarming to me. Now if she drove for 300 miles before it dawned on her that she was lost or if she forgot where she was even trying to get to, that is a very different concern.
If she got lost driving home from a familiar route like the grocery store where she does her weekly shopping - that would be a concern.
But if she is able to plan a trip to Disney - set up hotel accommodations, book a flight, register herself for a half marathon.....she is doing alright. Ordering a tomb stone for your departed sister is heavy stuff and that is probably why she didn't get around to it. Ditto some of the stuff at work.
With the rabid health degradation of my older sister early this year, followed by her hospitalization, then residency in a SNF, and death earlier this month, I have spent more time with my younger sister during this time than any other six month period in the past half century.
I had to read this a couple of times before I realized you meant "rapid", not "rabid".
I had to read this a couple of times before I realized you meant "rapid", not "rabid".
I am sorry about your older sister.
Oh crap! Too late to edit that now.
Just to be clear, our older Sister DID NOT contract rabies.
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My own MIL
