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My spouse has made an appointment for me to see a dentist about straightening my teeth - she called someone we know and set it up and then told me. I haven't been to a dentist in many many years due to a traumatic experience and now outright embarrassment. My dental health has suffered but I am so embarrassed at the condition my teeth are in that I am beyond scared seeing someone I know. Furthermore, straightening is not the issue, I know I will need to have multiple teeth removed - I have lived in pain and fear all this time and have not even been able to speak with my wife about it. She is making me go because she says my teeth look ridiculous for a business professional(my main issues are teeth you cannot see that are cracked and broken). I don't know what to do. I haven't been able to go to a dentist because years ago I was having cavities filled and when I told the guy I was in pain he stated it wasn't his problem and that I did it to myself. He continued to work on my as I had tears streaming down my face and his assistant suggest he stop for a moment, he told her I was a baby and should just deal with it and be embarrassed for acting that way. I left absolutely mortified and haven't been able to visit a dentist since. I have tried but every time I freak out thinking what they will think of me. How can I even face someone I know - just writing this has me freaking out. I know I need the help but am absolutely mortified, scared and embarrassed. Is it better to reach out to the dentist and just have a conversation at the first meeting?
Sorry to hear about your last experience, the way that dentist treated you sounds absolutely unacceptable. Reach out to a different dentist and have a conversation about your last experience and your concerns. You've let that traumatic experience cement a fear of going back to the dentist in your brain, but the longer you hide from that fear..the stronger the fear gets. Best way to deal with fear is face it directly on.. exposing yourself to the fear...and eventually your brain will start to recognize it as a normal situation and not a threat. Try not to drink too coffee before the appointment as it can aggravate anxiety (and your bladder, lol)
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
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I have always hated going to the dentist, and at times have gone way too long between visits. I always had to pay for it with fillings, crowns, and implants. I finally learned my lesson and now I'll call and get an appointment as soon as I have any pain, because waiting only ,makes it worse. What might start out as needing a simple filling can end up with a root canal if you wait too long. Now as miserable as it is to think about going in, I consider the alternative, which will be much worse in time, pain, and cost. You might be able to make an appointment to just discuss with your dentist, but they may insist upon a checkup and X-rays. My dentist has a consultation room where we will discuss a treatment plane when there is extensive work required.
You might also consider asking for Nitrous oxide when getting the treatments. I only had that once, for an extraction and bone graft, and it's instant sleep and wake up when done. No pain, no anxiety.
First of all I'm so sorry that happened to you. That sounds horrible.
Let me tell you my story and it might make you feel better. We didn't go to a dentist growing up. I'm not sure why - my mother had a full set of dentures in her 50's. I saw a dentist for the first time at 16 - my gums were bleeding. Wasn't terrible but wasn't pleasant either. I didn't go again until I was in my mid 30s. The dentist was shocked that my teeth were in such good condition - no cavities, but obviously a lot of plaque and tartar build up. I still didn't get the concept of having regular cleanings and checkups until I a friend who was a hygienist and she convinced me to see the error of my ways. I was around 50 at this point.
I went to her and it took multiple visits to get my teeth clean and my gums in better shape. She was as gentle as she could be and totally non-judgmental about my prior neglect. She educated me on the importance of oral health - it's not just about your teeth, although preserving your teeth and gums as you get older will save you a lot of trouble and a lot of money.
The longer you wait, the worse it will get and the more expensive dental work will be. One thing you might consider is finding someone who will do sedation dentistry. I think the industry has changed and the dentists know they need to address people's fears if they want to help them.
If you're not comfortable going to the dentist your spouse selected, do some research and find one that gets great reviews and possibly does the sedation as well.
5 years ago, i finally had all my wisdom teeth removed - all 4 at once! I picked an awesome oral surgeon and I was knocked out for the procedure. I would never have thought I could face that years before.
I suggest speaking to the dentist and the hygienist before the day of your appointment. Explain your fears, just like you explained it in your post here.
Ask what they can do to help you feel less afraid. If this dentist does not appear to be patient and calm and ready to take the extra time you will need, than find a dentist better suited to you.
There are dentists that specialize in anxious patients.
My spouse has made an appointment for me to see a dentist about straightening my teeth - she called someone we know and set it up and then told me. I haven't been to a dentist in many many years due to a traumatic experience and now outright embarrassment. My dental health has suffered but I am so embarrassed at the condition my teeth are in that I am beyond scared seeing someone I know. Furthermore, straightening is not the issue, I know I will need to have multiple teeth removed - I have lived in pain and fear all this time and have not even been able to speak with my wife about it. She is making me go because she says my teeth look ridiculous for a business professional(my main issues are teeth you cannot see that are cracked and broken). I don't know what to do. I haven't been able to go to a dentist because years ago I was having cavities filled and when I told the guy I was in pain he stated it wasn't his problem and that I did it to myself. He continued to work on my as I had tears streaming down my face and his assistant suggest he stop for a moment, he told her I was a baby and should just deal with it and be embarrassed for acting that way. I left absolutely mortified and haven't been able to visit a dentist since. I have tried but every time I freak out thinking what they will think of me. How can I even face someone I know - just writing this has me freaking out. I know I need the help but am absolutely mortified, scared and embarrassed. Is it better to reach out to the dentist and just have a conversation at the first meeting?
The most they would do at your first appointment is take x-rays and maybe clean your teeth. They will then set out a treatment plan which you can agree to or not. As far as dental anxiety during a procedure, ask for Nitrous Oxide (laughing gas)
Valium. I took 10 mg the night before and 20 mg the morning the oral surgeon pulled 2 wisdom teeth with a local, and he could have pulled all my teeth and it wouldn't have bothered me. Until afterward. Then I would have been mad.
For most of my life I had to have multiple numbing injections (for the same spot) and I would still feel pain, but lately there is a numbing gel used before the injection which now works perfectly with only one.
If it really bothers you to see someone you know do a little research for a dentist that "caters to cowards". These practices are fantastic and will help you with your dental health which is more important than most people realize.
There is nothing to be embarrassed about since there so many who are terrified to go to the dentist. The last dentist you saw should be ashamed of himself.
You should be seeing a general dentist before the orthodontist, and I am sure you will hear the same advice from the ortho. They want your teeth in good shape before they start treatment.
Ask around for recommendations, a good idea is to ask your doctor or their nurse - medical professionals know who is good.
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