How to convince someone it's time? (cats, carpet, home, euthanasia)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My bf has a 15 year old Dachshund and it's time to put the dog down. The dog can barely walk and it's having extreme labor breathing. The breathing is so bad that I can hear it from another room. The dog is also deformed with its back. It's now hunched back instead of being straight and you can see his entire spine bones poking out of his skin. He's not underweight-it's from being hunch back.
He allowed his previous Dachshund to basically die a horrible death because he didn't want to put it down when it had brain cancer.
I WILL NOT allow that to happen again. He thinks because the dog is eating and drinking that he's fine. It very, very clearly is not. The dog has also been starting to use our house as a toilet even though he's being let out almost 6 to 7 times a day. It's costing us $300 every 3 months to get the carpets cleaned. These are carpets that cost us $5000 in May of 2020. It happened again today even though he had been let out not even 2 hours prior.
How do I get him to do the right thing?? I'm the one having to deal with all of this while he's at work and it is time.
What have you tried so far to convince him? I like the idea of getting your bf to speak with the vet about it. Sometimes people will listen to others before they will loved ones.
I know it is hard. I have put down my share of pets over the years and it always leaves me with some guilt. I finally put my old horse down in 2021. She was 32 and I had had her for 30 of those years. She was totally blind and alone and constantly hurting herself and just looked depressed. It took my farrier saying to me several times that it is all right to put them down before they get real sick, save them that suffering.
Maybe try to relive him of any guilt he may feel being the one to call for the dogs death.
Before that, you were hitting the cat. Remember? Hopefully, this poor old dog isn't experiencing physical abuse because he messes up your carpets.
Yes, when I caught the cat actively spraying my furniture and my bed WHILE I was sleeping it, he got disciplined. The dog has been disciplined as well for when he misbehaves.
I've always disciplined my animals. I have no issue admitting I do that. There is a difference between abuse and discipline.
Regarding this cat, I'd like to know how come you didn't include the thread that mentions I've spent THOUSANDS on this same cat to protect it from being attacked in my own yard??
What on earth does that prove? That she wanted to keep her cat safe but stop it peeing in the house? What is wrong with that?
Himain, I sympathize with you and this issue. The issues you bring up aren't unfair, or unreasonable. I think there's a good chance the dog is in a lot of pain, from the posture you describe. And it's not unreasonable to consider your own home and quality of life as well as the dog.
We had an old dog who would pee walking through the house. From one end to another. He had no idea when he was going... He'd just leave this long, streaming dribble of a puddle behind him. Several times a day. Another old dog would poop in her sleep. In her bed. Again, she often had no idea she was doing it. Just old and incontinent. Sometimes she had a hard time standing to poop, and would fall over, in it. It certainly was a part of the decision for both of these beloved dogs that they could no longer function without making a sad but real mess of our house. I do get it.
I recommended taking the dog in to the vet to see if there is anything that can be done for either issue and I still think that's best. If there is something that can be tried (and I do mean comfort care, not a battery of expensive tests) then great, maybe there can be a reprieve, but if there isn't, then hopefully it will open up room for you and your bf to have a real heart to heart about what's best for everyone.
What on earth does that prove? That she wanted to keep her cat safe but stop it peeing in the house? What is wrong with that?
Himain, I sympathize with you and this issue. The issues you bring up aren't unfair, or unreasonable. I think there's a good chance the dog is in a lot of pain, from the posture you describe. And it's not unreasonable to consider your own home and quality of life as well as the dog.
We had an old dog who would pee walking through the house. From one end to another. He had no idea when he was going... He'd just leave this long, streaming dribble of a puddle behind him. Several times a day. Another old dog would poop in her sleep. In her bed. Again, she often had no idea she was doing it. Just old and incontinent. Sometimes she had a hard time standing to poop, and would fall over, in it. It certainly was a part of the decision for both of these beloved dogs that they could no longer function without making a sad but real mess of our house. I do get it.
I recommended taking the dog in to the vet to see if there is anything that can be done for either issue and I still think that's best. If there is something that can be tried (and I do mean comfort care, not a battery of expensive tests) then great, maybe there can be a reprieve, but if there isn't, then hopefully it will open up room for you and your bf to have a real heart to heart about what's best for everyone.
Thank you for this. I don't know why I'm getting vilified for trying to end the suffering of a dog when someone wants to be an ostrich about it. I'm NOT the bad guy here but yet I'm being made out to be.
I also don't know why my cat is being brought into this? It's totally not related in any way. It's just another way to try and make me look like a bad pet owner
What on earth does that prove? That she wanted to keep her cat safe but stop it peeing in the house? What is wrong with that?
She was hitting the cat. If you see nothing wrong in that, we'll just have to disagree. Besides being wrong, hitting cats isn't an effective way to "stop them peeing in the house."
Past behavior is a pretty good indicator of how someone is handling a similar situation in the present. Doesn't sound like this poor old dog has even seen a vet recently, even when he appeared to have experienced a stroke. If they can't even do that much, no, Diana, they shouldn't get more pets in the future.
Last edited by Metlakatla; 02-28-2023 at 01:44 PM..
She was hitting the cat. If you see nothing wrong in that, we'll just have to disagree. Besides being wrong, hitting cats isn't an effective way to "stop them peeing in the house."
I did go read it. I do think it was being grossly misstated, as if she's just walking around beating the cat. If I looked over and saw my cat spraying my couch within my reach, I'd slap it too... Yell out, slap it away, try to stop it! GAH! GIT!
You would do what? Right now, a foot from you, your cat sprays the seat you're sitting in... Big stream of stinky cat pee. You would just watch it? I doubt it.
Ever woken up to hear your cat sitting on your feet hacking up a hairball? Ever seen two people leap up faster? LOL
People tend to turn internet arguments into such extremes. Sometimes these debates are where reason and understanding go to die. She was here trying to figure out what to do about a situation that was serious and not easy to solve. She knew it didn't solve the problem to slap the cat.... it was still a problem. that's why she was here looking for other suggestions. And people lost their minds over a side issue. Like they're doing now. It's not evil to be imperfect in our reactions, it's not evil to have limits.
I do think it was being grossly misstated, as if she's just walking around beating the cat. If I looked over and saw my cat spraying my couch within my reach, I'd slap it too... Yell out, slap it away, try to stop it!
You would do what? Right now, a foot from you, your cat sprays the seat you're sitting in... you would just watch it? I doubt it.
Ever woken up to hear your cat sitting on your feet hacking up a hairball? Ever seen two people leap up faster? LOL
People tend to turn internet arguments into such extremes. Sometimes these debates are where reason and understanding go to die. She was here trying to figure out what to do about a situation that was serious and not easy to solve. And people lost their minds over a side issue. Like they're doing now.
I'm just going by what she herself stated in another thread about possibly putting a pet down because her carpets and some sort of couch were being ruined. She was ready to take the cat to the vet and have "it" euthanized because she was tired of the damage to her carpets and couch. There was something about not wanting to get up from the couch while watching a movie to let the cat outdoors. There's a bit more to it than what you're trying to claim.
I would do what? I answered that question in that thread. I'll tell you one thing though — caring for pets means getting off the couch at times.
Last edited by Metlakatla; 02-28-2023 at 01:32 PM..
I would think hitting a cat would be more of an effective way of getting them to do the objectionable behavior.
The best idea I have read here is for the couple to go together to the vet. I do wonder how long it has been since the dog has been to the vet though, as it sounds like, from the OP's description, that the dog has been ailing for some time. The reason for the visit would be a health checkup, and to see if there were some medications the dog could take regarding the issues being expressed by the OP. I would think, or at least hope, that the vet would give an honest appraisal of the "situation" with the dog.
I am also hoping that the dog is not being "disciplined" for accidents at this point, as I have had many older dogs, and that would be wrong, and more an expression of anger over the situation than discipline, and making a miserable existence for the dog even worse.
Under NO circumstances would I euthanize a pet, when the actual owner in the house opposed it. Now, the stronger person may be needed to make the arrangements, but that should be it.
I also recommend that OP's household not get any more pets, as they all get old (if they are lucky).
I am really surprised the dog has not been to the vet to get something for the "accidents" or to make sure there isn't an infection or something else going on.
Sad situation for the dog, an innocent victim in this case.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
