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I've heard lots of people tell stories about how they or their children didn't turn 21 until halfway through their senior year, and how terrible it was to be left out and not be able to go out with their friends. However, whenever I tell people about how my son will be graduating this spring after 5 years while he had to watch all his friends graduate last spring, it gets brushed off by everyone, even those who simultaneously think that they or their kid had it rough by not being able to go to bars with their friends. I understand that there are much bigger problems in the world than social isolation. What I don't understand is why it's understandable to feel left out when your friends go to bars without you, but not when your friends graduate without you.
I've never in my life known a college town anywhere that didn't have alcohol available to underage undergrads by the truckload. Everywhere from frat parties to college dorms. And let's not even get started with Spring Break. In fact, binge drinking by underage college students is a serious problem that colleges struggle to combat.
I'm also a parent of three daughters. The oldest graduated college in 2020, the middle one is a college Junior, and the youngest starts college next fall. I have run into a LOT, and I mean a LOT of other parents of college students over the years. Everything from Facebook groups to parents weekend. And not once EVER have I heard any parent ever complain about alcohol being too unavailable for their college student children. Not once.
Because it's not unusual for it to take 5 or even 6 years to graduate. For everything from dropping classes to changing majors to anything in between.
Since this is so similar to your previous discussion, let's ask a couple of questions.
a. Did he graduate high school with his friends, and did they all go to the same college together?
b. What did he major in? Where does he plan to work after college?
c. Where did his friends go after they graduated from college?
d. Have you and he discussed the fact that his friend groups will change between high school, college, and work after college?
I'm asking these because the way you describe the concern over this, and the previous thread, is whether he is prepared for the transition between college and working adult. That is one of the major transition points in life and is pretty stressful in the best of circumstances.
This sounds strangely familiar to a poster a couple years ago (maybe more) who was complaining that he was born later in the year and, although he could have started school, his parents held him out for a year so he could mature.
The premise was the same, that he felt behind and misplaced because all his friends were a year ahead of him and would graduate high school and then college earlier than him and he'd remain "behind" his entire life..
What I don't understand is why it's understandable to feel left out when your friends go to bars without you, but not when your friends graduate without you.
Some people don't attach a lot of significance to either one. My elder son chose not to participate in his graduation ceremony, and that fits his personality. He's not a bar guy, either.
My younger son graduated in 2020, the Year of Covid, and his graduation, which he probably would have loved, was cancelled and he just had to get over it. I never heard of him complaining about not turning 21 until the spring semester of his junior year, though. He had roommates in a private off-campus apartment where I'm sure they had social gatherings where alcohol was consumed.
Who cares? This is such a bizarre post. Social media has turned people into a magnet for constant validation from other people. Weird world we live in.
I've heard lots of people tell stories about how they or their children didn't turn 21 until halfway through their senior year, and how terrible it was to be left out and not be able to go out with their friends. However, whenever I tell people about how my son will be graduating this spring after 5 years while he had to watch all his friends graduate last spring, it gets brushed off by everyone, even those who simultaneously think that they or their kid had it rough by not being able to go to bars with their friends. I understand that there are much bigger problems in the world than social isolation. What I don't understand is why it's understandable to feel left out when your friends go to bars without you, but not when your friends graduate without you.
I think i got dumber reading this.
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