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Sometimes I think that my childhood ignorance was bliss. I remember growing up in the projects but I don't really recall being poor. I wore second hand clothes (still do). We ate what my mother cooked. We went outside and played baseball with the other "poor" kids in our neighborhood. I don't recall going to bed hungry. I do remember wanting things that we couldn't afford. Then, I got older and realized we're poor! Poor in a sense that we had very limited financial resources. Once I realized this it motivated me to become a productive citizen and not live off the teet of Uncle Sam.
Now, I don't want to come off as a pompous ass so let me say that if you're in a situation that calls for you to live in subsidized housing and go on welfare do it and don't be proud. The help is there so people don't fall through the cracks. It's meant to be temporary.
I read your post and I encourage you to keep working hard and remember not to let people like the person who looked down at you because you couldn't cash his old check get to you. There is a saying in Spanish that translate to "It's nice to be important but it's more important to be nice". Keep working hard it's good for the soul.
I agree with LGerman to not let ill-mannered people bother you.
I was raised in a solidly middle class family, but ended up quite poor in my thirties. Husband had serious health problems. After he passed away, the children and I get even poorer. I can remember pulling them in a wagon to town to get commodity food, and they had to walk home, not that walking is bad, but we were poor.
I got tired of the situation and decided I wasn't going to accept our circumstances without a good fight. Found manual labor work where I could have the kids with me most of the time. All I did was work. They thought our lifestyle was great. Lots of outdoor play time for them.
Got lucky enough to accidently learn a skill that provided a job with insurance and opened possibilities for other careers. Back to college and incredibly little money. I literally worked for food, and enough money to pay rent. I did take student loans, but stayed off public assistance. That was important to me.
15 years later I'm doing quite well and my adult children are too. Many of the people for whom I cleaned their houses or cleaned their gutters, or shoveled coal at their houses are still friends of mine and my family's. I worked for only a few rude people and kind of got a kick out of taking the pay they gave me. Darn right I took the wages they paid. And I was in better shape than them, too!
During a time of long term unemployment, yes. Poor as in having no money left, no food in the house, no gas in the car, unpaid bills, sold everything there was to sell, lost everything, and had no one to help, no support system at all, no choices, no control, hungry all the time.
The lowest we could sink next to being homeless and then we were evicted!
A long distance friend from my past came through without our asking and paid for us to move into an apartment where I eventually found work. All other ''friends'' and family turned their backs on us, which hurt deeply.
Hard times that we somehow got through. I will never forget them and know that it can happen to anyone at anytime. I hope it never happens to us again, but if it does we will survive.
During a time of long term unemployment, yes. Poor as in having no money left, no food in the house, no gas in the car, unpaid bills, sold everything there was to sell, lost everything, and had no one to help, no support system at all, no choices, no control, hungry all the time. The lowest we could sink next to being homeless and then we were evicted!
A long distance friend from my past came through without our asking and paid for us to move into an apartment where I eventually found work. All other ''friends'' and family turned their backs on us, which hurt deeply.
Hard times that we somehow got through. I will never forget them and know that it can happen to anyone at anytime. I hope it never happens to us again, but if it does we will survive.
That's my biggest fear.
It may sound funny but it is why I like to always have a "big" car. For a while we had a big old boat of a station wagon, that would seat eight. Right now I drive a Honda minivan that seats seven. In the darkest part of my mind, there is always the thought that if we HAD to, we could live in it.
It is good that you found out you still had a good friend.
In all honesty if it ever got that bad for us I could probably live in my mother's trailer. She owns a single wide 3 bedroom trailer that she keeps as a rental property but for a variety of reasons she never actually seems to keep it rented out. I would have to kiss some serious butt and we have a very very rocky relationship, so living in her place would be a last resort. If i didn't have kids, I'd choose my van over that.
Never - never lose the roof over your head. When my mother was alive it did not matter how old we were...we could always go home. We had this big old rambling house on a lake...no matter what the door was always open..Once my mother died we got a bit greedy and sold the house..I squandered my share....Looking back it was the last real home I ever had. It feels like I camp for seven year intervals at one location and then move to the next...My old home was in the family for 50 years..we should never have sold it.
Times change...The are that was like a heaven is now fully developed..There is a high way blasting by the old house where once was a quaint dirt road..The lake is surrounded by upscale homes and pollution has killed what was once a crystal clear body of water...I guess they are right when they say "You can never go home"............How I miss that life...Independent - secure...on a hot summer day we would open the windows and the cool breeze would come of the lake..in the morning I would go for a swim..or putter about in the sail boat..I can't complain...I lived like a millionaire and did not even know it.
NOW...I am in the core of a major city...I have family..My adult kids are very close to me...The neighborhood is gentrified and I have a good reputation. I NEVER let anyone know that I have no money to speak of. If you are rich it should be private...If you are poor keep it to yourself. People are simple and will persecute what they think is weak...privacy is a must....
As is said..People will water the plant that is in full bloom...they will not water the plant that is withered and in need.....fake it...You will do well.
Growing up, my family was economically very poor. There were five us (Mom, Pop, five kids). At times the only thing we had for dinner was a pot of rice. We wore donated clothing for the most part. The only time we went to a doctor was 'at the last straw', and same with dentists. I have no idea to this day how the folks paid those bills. I do know they borrowed money from time to time from a wealthy guy in the community (and they did pay it all back, finally).
All of that being said, as I became an adult and heard the horror stories of people growing up in abusive households, I know now, without a doubt, that in my family, we were very rich!
So I ask: Have you ever been poor? How poor and if you aren't anymore, how did you move up?
Not as bad as you, that is for sure. We never felt poor. Always went on trips and stuff as a child, but all we would eat is spaghetti and cereal, not really sure I understood that. As an adult and on my own, I was never homeless, but again, went hungry. When my roommates weren't around I would go into the apartment dumpsters looking for food. I was working obviously, but it was pretty hard. After a while I gave up and moved back into my parents. Currently we are barely making it and I work 100 hours a week. The way the bills fall simply gobble up my pay.
As I reflect, while I was in high school, Navy recruiters kept visiting me for some reason. I think it was a secret from my parents. I should have joined back then, but I was too dumb to see that.
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