grandparents, whats the norm on buying your unborn grandkid(s) a gift? (gifts, kids)
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I gave my future grandchildren simple, but meaningful gifts, like a copy of my son's (their father's) favorite childhood book and the matching book buddy/stuffed animal.
Among my close friends who were becoming grandparents the gifts were "all over the place". Some organized and paid for big baby showers as a gift, others gave hundreds of dollars worth of baby clothes and baby accessories & supplies, another started a college fund with a substantial cash gift and others gave just one pre-birth gift like a fancy christening outfit or other baby outfit or a nice baby toy. The wealthy parents of a co-worker paid for an extravagant "last vacation before becoming parents" vacation for their pregnant daughter and son-in-law instead of a gift for the future grandchild.
Most of my friends gave small, but regular gifts after the baby was born instead of a lot of things before the baby arrived.
PS. So to answer your question, there really isn't a "normal" thing to do. In some cultures it is even considered bad luck to purchase items before the baby is actually born.
Last edited by germaine2626; 09-02-2017 at 09:09 PM..
Reason: added PS.
I gave my future grandchildren simple, but meaningful gifts, like a copy of my son's (their father's) favorite childhood book and the matching book buddy/stuffed animal.
Among my close friends who were becoming grandparents the gifts were "all over the place". Some organized and paid for big baby showers as a gift, others gave hundreds of dollars worth of baby clothes and baby accessories & supplies, another started a college fund with a substantial cash gift and others gave just one pre-birth gift like a fancy christening outfit or other baby outfit. The wealthy parents of a co-worker paid for an extravagant "last vacation before becoming parents" vacation for their pregnant daughter and son-in-law.
Most of my friends gave small, but regular gifts after the baby was born instead of a lot of things before the baby arrived.
Thanks for your response. I love meaningful gifts, sadly neither of my kids got anything from their grandma (grandpa is out of the picture) so I am just curious to see what other grandparents got their grandkids, maybe for future reference which is way down the road lol.
I didn't buy gifts for my grandkids until they had been born.
I guess I don't really understand this question. If there is baby shower for daughter or DIL, then take a gift then. Or. as Germaine says, give some sort of meaningful gift that relates to the parent.
Other than that, please do know that you will have many, many opportunites to give gifts to your grands. One of the things I do every year is give the kids a catalog, and let them choose several new items for school. They love choosing things, and they love getting their package in the mail to open. Since the things are for school, I feel it is a constructive way of helping out, and it gives the kids the joy of anticipation.
Each of us as grandparents get to make whatever we want of this amazing opportunity. I love being a grandparent.
My grandmother crocheted a baby blanket and stuffed animal. Unfortunately my firstborn never saw them. I claimed them as keepsakes. (Still have them, too)
Thanks for your response. I love meaningful gifts, sadly neither of my kids got anything from their grandma (grandpa is out of the picture) so I am just curious to see what other grandparents got their grandkids, maybe for future reference which is way down the road lol.
My parents were not traditional "gift givers" to any of their nine grandchildren. No christening gifts, no Christmas gifts, no birthday gifts, no graduation gifts, zip, zero, nada. Yet, their grandchildren loved them dearly because my parents gave them unconditional love, gave them experiences and taught them skills.
When going for a walk in the woods with grandpa and he found a special rock or a pretty flower, named it and gave it to them, it meant more to my kids than a hundred dollar toy or a dozen outfits. My son is a scientist and believes that his love of science, curiosity about the world, and strong work ethic was strongly based on, or at least reinforced by, his interactions with his grandfather.
When grandma taught her granddaughter how to select the best apples for making Apple Crisp it was a memory that my daughter still mentions 25 years later. My daughter also chose her life's work, in part, because of how she observed her grandfather caring for her disabled grandmother.
My mother once gave my niece a fancy ribbon that she (my mother) had received on a gift package. My niece used it as special bookmark for many years. She said that it always reminded her of her grandma's love. My father occasionally wrote poems for his grandchildren. These were also cherished keepsakes.
Think again about things that your mother "gave" your children. Did she give love? Did she give time? Did she give encouraging words? Did she give a cultural heritage? Perhaps, those things were more valuable than material things.
Before my now-almost-three-year-old granddaughter (my one and only grandchild) was born, I paid for the car seat/stroller combination her parents had picked out. Since her birth, however, I've given her very few material gifts.
I take care of her two days a week while her parents are working. I figure I have more time than money, so I give her what I have more of. It's a win-win for both of us.
My parents were not traditional "gift givers" to any of their nine grandchildren. No christening gifts, no Christmas gifts, no birthday gifts, no graduation gifts, zip, zero, nada. Yet, their grandchildren loved them dearly because my parents gave them unconditional love, gave them experiences and taught them skills.
When going for a walk in the woods with grandpa and he found a special rock or a pretty flower, named it and gave it to them, it meant more to my kids than a hundred dollar toy or a dozen outfits. My son is a scientist and believes that his love of science, curiosity about the world, and strong work ethic was strongly based on, or at least reinforced by, his interactions with his grandfather.
When grandma taught her granddaughter how to select the best apples for making Apple Crisp it was a memory that my daughter still mentions 25 years later. My daughter also chose her life's work, in part, because of how she observed her grandfather caring for her disabled grandmother.
My mother once gave my niece a fancy ribbon that she (my mother) had received on a gift package. My niece used it as special bookmark for many years. She said that it always reminded her of her grandma's love. My father occasionally wrote poems for his grandchildren. These were also cherished keepsakes.
Think again about things that your mother "gave" your children. Did she give love? Did she give time? Did she give encouraging words? Did she give a cultural heritage? Perhaps, those things were more valuable than material things.
S
She gave them nothing. No particular fond memories, never took them on a stroll in the park, one time my middle child was in the ER for a severe allergic reaction at 6 months old. I was shaking and we were scared we'd lose him his blood pressure was dangerously low and he was unresponsive. Her husband called and she bid me farewell because she had to go home and cook for him since he was on his way home from work. She had only been in the ER for 30 minutes. I guess I shouldnt expect much from someone like her, but I really feel bad for my kids. They dont have many role models aside from my husband and I. My in laws live overseas. I hope I get to be a great grandparent one day, and like you mentioned I want to give them the valuable experiences not necessarily materialistic things.
She gave them nothing. No particular fond memories, never took them on a stroll in the park, one time my middle child was in the ER for a severe allergic reaction at 6 months old. I was shaking and we were scared we'd lose him his blood pressure was dangerously low and he was unresponsive. Her husband called and she bid me farewell because she had to go home and cook for him since he was on his way home from work. She had only been in the ER for 30 minutes. I guess I shouldnt expect much from someone like her, but I really feel bad for my kids. They dont have many role models aside from my husband and I. My in laws live overseas. I hope I get to be a great grandparent one day, and like you mentioned I want to give them the valuable experiences not necessarily materialistic things.
I am sorry to hear that.
If I were in your situation I would look for additional role models within your neighborhood, church, cultural group or group of friends. People such as elderly neighbors or church friends often greatly enjoy interacting with young children. Or you can do activities, go to festivals/celebrations or join cultural groups connected to your and/or your husband's ethnic culture. That would be especially good since his parents/family are far away so your children can learn more about his culture.
Some/many children do grow up to be very well rounded with just Mom & Dad loving them and caring about them but it certainly helps to have an extended family, even if you have to create one yourselves out of various friends, co-workers and neighbors.
We always make a good contribution to their college fund and the rest varies.
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