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I signed up with a L.A. mortuary back when I was 65 and have arrangements made and my daughter can pay out of my account..if I were to use their services now, it would cost under $800 and my daughter can decide on my remains. She may want to keep some of me around for a while but maybe not, she said she wanted that years ago, but thinking changes. I have the card on my desk for easy access.
I'm planning to donate my body to the University of California School of Medicine. I have an extremely rare genetic immune system deficiency so hopefully they'll be able to learn from me and help someone else in the future.
There are certain restrictions, such as specific medical conditions, which would preclude being accepted to the donation program. Fortunately I don't have any of those. I'm just beginning the process so hopefully it will all go well. If not, then my next call will be to the Neptune Society.
Both of my parents had expressed their wishes and had made arrangements for cremation in advance with the Neptune Society, in my dad's case, and a local mortuary in my mom's case. Dad wanted to be scattered at sea (former Navy officer) and my mom was scared of the ocean so I retained the ashes in an urn. Everything went very well.
Remember: The Will may not be read until days/weeks following death and internment.
If you are tempted to include final instructions in your Will, make certain ALL of your heirs/descendants have a copy of the Will, and read it with them so they know what your final instructions are!
My M-I-L died Thursday night. My wife had been shown an unsigned copy of her Mother's Will by her Mother but did not know if it had been executed/registered, or where her Mom kept her copy of the Will. She and two of her siblings started the personal document search and shredding task yesterday. They found their Mother's copy of the registered Will, and with it the Power of Attorney, Personal Representative, and Medical Directive papers that none of the 5 siblings knew existed.
Remember: The Will may not be read until days/weeks following death and internment.
If you are tempted to include final instructions in your Will, make certain ALL of your heirs/descendants have a copy of the Will, and read it with them so they know what your final instructions are!
My M-I-L died Thursday night. My wife had been shown an unsigned copy of her Mother's Will by her Mother but did not know if it had been executed/registered, or where her Mom kept her copy of the Will. She and two of her siblings started the personal document search and shredding task yesterday. They found their Mother's copy of the registered Will, and with it the Power of Attorney, Personal Representative, and Medical Directive papers that none of the 5 siblings knew existed.
After my MIL sold her house, I pushed my husband to have her pre-plan her arrangements, especially because she was sick and had a lot of medical issues.
Wow. What a relief. Her sisters who usually argue over petty things couldn't complain about anything because she chose all of her own things---the type of service, the prayer cards, the coffin, etc. Less stressful for everyone.
My advice would just be to clearly outline everything you want and have it documented. Make sure it goes into a trust/see where your money goes if anything happens to the funeral home.
If you pre plan and prepay your funeral services, make sure you include all your - for lack of a better word - "incidental" wishes in a written Statement of Wishes and make sure the funeral director has it. I know of a relative who pre planned her funeral and prepaid everything, but did not specify her eulogy details, music or remembrance video details. One relative (an in-law) stepped up and volunteered to take care of these things, and in everyone's grief they agreed. I can tell you that the eulogy, video and music was absolutely NOT what the deceased previously "stated" (to immediate family members) she wanted, but she did not put it in writing beforehand. Put EVERYTHING in writing.
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Solly says — Be nice!
