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I know it's early and the shock is still profound, but thank God for this. And thank goodness you weren't alone when it happened.
Now that I'm five months out from my husband's sudden death, I am so, so grateful that it didn't happen at home, when I was alone with him, or when we were driving together in the truck or something. OMG. It could have been so much worse, but instead it was sudden and painless for him, and I didn't have to witness it or be stuck wondering if I should have done something different. So hopefully you will soon reach a point where that moment doesn't become as defining if that makes sense.
Wow, I'm sorry OP. That is really difficult. Though I've been single at times in my adult life, I cannot imagine being without my partner. And the older we get, the more we need each other.
My dad died on our anniversary. So, no, we don't forget!
I just watched a great sermon where it was pointed out: "Getting older is a series of losses". So true.
I know it's early and the shock is still profound, but thank God for this. And thank goodness you weren't alone when it happened.
Now that I'm five months out from my husband's sudden death, I am so, so grateful that it didn't happen at home, when I was alone with him, or when we were driving together in the truck or something. OMG. It could have been so much worse, but instead it was sudden and painless for him, and I didn't have to witness it or be stuck wondering if I should have done something different. So hopefully you will soon reach a point where that moment doesn't become as defining if that makes sense.
It will affect my son and that makes me sad for him. It happened in our bedroom and I tried CPR...
That memory will stick with me for a very long time, but when it pops in my head, I do attempt to replace it with something else.
Thank you for all of your lovely words of advice and encouragement.
It will affect my son and that makes me sad for him. It happened in our bedroom and I tried CPR...
That memory will stick with me for a very long time, but when it pops in my head, I do attempt to replace it with something else.
Thank you for all of your lovely words of advice and encouragement.
Ugh, terrible. I am so sorry.
I think you are doing as best you can at the moment - it sounds that way. I think it's healthy to replace the memory with a happier memory when it surfaces. I shared that I had found a photo OF MY HUSBAND'S DEAD BODY that the paramedics accidentally took when they were in his phone trying to find my contact information. Whoa. What a horrible image, and it made me so angry that they left it on the phone too. I just have had to do like you're doing, switch and think of something else, some happy memory, when it comes up. And it rarely comes up now, though at first of course it was all consuming.
As for your son - I believe that yes, you do need to be cognizant of what he is going through but remember - he won't feel the same emotions you feel at the same time or at the same level. Just don't make assumptions - or judgments - one way or the other.
I think you are doing as best you can at the moment - it sounds that way. I think it's healthy to replace the memory with a happier memory when it surfaces. I shared that I had found a photo OF MY HUSBAND'S DEAD BODY that the paramedics accidentally took when they were in his phone trying to find my contact information. Whoa. What a horrible image, and it made me so angry that they left it on the phone too. I just have had to do like you're doing, switch and think of something else, some happy memory, when it comes up. And it rarely comes up now, though at first of course it was all consuming.
As for your son - I believe that yes, you do need to be cognizant of what he is going through but remember - he won't feel the same emotions you feel at the same time or at the same level. Just don't make assumptions - or judgments - one way or the other.
Good advice, thank you!
I am sorry that you saw that picture, that must have been awful.
I am sorry that you saw that picture, that must have been awful.
Thank you and yes, it was awful. I really couldn't believe what I was seeing.
At least the state attorney general called me back and put me on a conference call and I said, "Look, I am not asking for any money - all I am asking is that you raise the awareness of your paramedics so this doesn't happen to anyone else ever again." It was probably the worst moment of my life when I realized what that picture was. It was so surreal - it took me a few seconds to really grasp what it was.
That just sucks. My favorite sister died I0 days before my birthday and I thought that was bad. My husband died the same month a few years later. Now there is a certain contamination to the whole month. You make me appreciate that at least it wasn't on my birthday. I am sorry for your loss.
My wife died on 11/22/2015. It was the Sunday before Thanksgiving. I loved Thanksgiving and my wife did not. I have often joked that it was her way of getting out of Thanksgiving. Regardless of the day, I always think of her the most on 11/22 and the Sunday before Thanksgiving. 11/22 on a Sunday happened this past November for the first time since her death. I had an extra drink for her.......LOL
My grandmother died on Mother's Day. We were taking my baby to meet her for the first time and when the phone rang at 5 a.m. I knew what it was. I think she was already beyond knowing my baby anyway.
My husband's father died of lung cancer on Father's Day.
My grandmother died on Mother's Day. We were taking my baby to meet her for the first time and when the phone rang at 5 a.m. I knew what it was. I think she was already beyond knowing my baby anyway.
My husband's father died of lung cancer on Father's Day.
I suppose this happens frequently.
There's a date for everything. I was born on the same date as one of our presidents. Not this one.
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