Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I just found a book about grief that I do not agree with. It is "It's OK That You're Not OK" by Megan Devine. I hate that book actually. I do not agree with it philosophically one bit.
KA, I read many reviews and a few excerpts from that one and decided it wasn’t for me, too. I am waiting for a copy of “A Grief Observed” as the reviews are really good (now, including yours, as well).
KA, I read many reviews and a few excerpts from that one and decided it wasn’t for me, too. I am waiting for a copy of “A Grief Observed” as the reviews are really good (now, including yours, as well).
I hope you love it! I absolutely loved it. I think I didn't care for the Joan Didion one for the same reason I have lost confidence in It's OK That You're Not OK - I have a firm belief system and I do believe there is a purpose for everything that happens whether we can understand it from our limited perspective or not. I didn't get the impression that Didion or the author of this other book have that sort of mentality so it doesn't hit on my cylinders if that makes sense.
It was interesting to me which books I have identified with and have helped me and which haven't. For instance, you'd think I would identify closely with Joan Didion's book "The Year of Magical Thinking," because she experienced a sudden, shocking grief like me - her beloved husband just suddenly dropped over dead from a massive heart attack. Mine did too. However, though I read the entire book, I could not ever get into her mindset. Ironically, it was CS Lewis's book "A Grief Observed" that rang the most true and real to me - and it was written by an older man, who didn't marry for love so to speak, and his wife died a long, slow, expected death from bone cancer. And she was sick with cancer the entire time they were married, which was only for three years!
But I loved this book, in part because it is short and to the point and it was easy to read during the most raw time of my grief (I think the first six months were the most horrible). CS Lewis in fact wrote this book in just a few days. And when he took it to his publisher, the publisher said "We want to publish it, but since it doesn't jive with your long time stated beliefs, we want to publish it under a different name." CS Lewis told them "No thanks, I'll just take it elsewhere." (They published it under his name - LOL.) Anyway, it is simply a collection of his thoughts over the days and months following his wife's death. They're not neat or pretty and often they aren't philosophical at all - they're just his real emotions at the time, and I LOVE that.
So in spite of the many differences between my situation and that of CS Lewis, his book resonated more with me than Joan Didion's, which seemed to be lacking clarity or something, I don't really know but I couldn't relate to what she was saying in it.
Another book that was helpful the first year was "Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations for Working Through Grief" by Martha Hickman. It just has a short, interfaith type of meditation for each day in it - one page. I loved how it showed me that grief feels the same across cultures, across religions. I mean, I knew that but now I REALLY know it.
I also love love love this haiku by Taniguchi Buson: “The piercing chill I feel:
my dead wife’s comb, in our bedroom,
under my heel…”
I will order the CS Lewis book. I like raw writings. I am also not a fan of Joan Dideon - just don't like her style.
I wish that could help me, but the trauma and subsequent PTSD stop me from reading because my brain cannot focus.
I had PTSD and couldn't read for several months after my husband unexpectedly and suddenly died. But the ability to read has come back thankfully. Treatment for PTSD helped tremendously.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
