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Did you ever have one of those friends that you've known for over 30 years that you talked every few months about the past, present & future? About growing old, about getting together and going to ball games? The kind of friend that it doesn't matter if you talked six days ago or six months ago - you pick up right where you left off. Heck, you might even lead off with an insult about the other's college of choice.
I have one of those friends. Tommy J. Like me, he was an engineer for the same company and we met on a jobsite years ago. I'm guessing that it was Detroit's National Steel. The more we worked together, the more my respect for him grew. Later on, years & years later, I learned he was with a group of 8 others who integrated his elementary school in Mississippi when he was only 7 years old. He went on to Miss State and I'm certain that he was one of the few blacks in the engineering program in the 70's.
Education seemed to be a family hallmark. Tommy had quite a few siblings and all went to college. It's funny - almost everywhere we went in Detroit, Tommy would run into someone that knew him or his brothers or sisters. It was always amazing to see in-person.
Tommy was maybe three years older than me with tons of experience but I had an edge in our company's new digital drives and programmers. I remember one of his first requests was for me to teach him everything I knew about them. My response, "What are we going to do for the rest of the day?"
Detroit was a blast. The job was easy - we were essentially babysitting a steel mill making incremental improvements to improve performance or to make life easier for the operators. Weekends weren't required. During the week, we'd go see the Pistons play at Auburn Hills. I guess we probably went to 8 or 10 games that winter. Big, big fun.
I talked to Tommy soon after we moved into our new house. He had retired, finally, and we looking forward to him and his wife coming over for a few days during football and basketball season to visit. Of course, I needled him about coming to see real teams play instead of his Miss. State teams. We ended it with the usual promise to get together soon.
I called Tommy again in June and my call didn't even go to voice mail. I texted him and asked him to call me back. I called him in July, same result. I called yesterday, no joy, and sent him a message via FB's messenger.
Tommy never posted a lot of FB so I never checked him 'homepage' but, I did yesterday. Imagine my shock and dismay to learned that he had passed away in Feb. He had previously told me that he had a bout with cancer and was doing well.
His brother P told me that he contracted Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease, Classic (CJD), a disease that progresses rapidly and is always fatal. There are literally only about 1,000 cases a year in the US and it's always fatal. Had I known, I would have driven over to see him. To add to the family's struggles, Tommy's wife C passed away a month after him. It seems that she essentially gave up after his death.
Tommy was one of the great guys in my life. We kept in touch for years and now that we're back in AL, were looking forward to sitting on each other's front porch and swapping insults & stories. Tommy always had some great stories! We knew so many of the same people that it was easy to entertain each other.
Keep his sons R and C in your prayers. Tommy always talked about his boys and their accomplishments and I know he loved them, his wife, his church and his community. MrsK7 is a genius at helping people find jobs and she's already engaged R to help him with his job search. I've talked to his brother P who only lives about 70 miles from us. We'll get together soon, that I promise.
RIP Tommy - you were loved greatly by your friends, your family and yes, me.
Thank you, I know it’s nothing compared to the loss of a spouse but he really was a great person.
There are many different forms and types of grief and it's all legitimate. Many people grieve their pets intensely, for instance. Your friend sounds like a great person. I am very sorry about your loss.
So tragic that your friends passed on untimely. It's good that you're helping their kids.
Thank you. We’ve reached that comfortable point in life and it’s seems worthwhile to help others, especially the younger folks.
I picked up a new car today. During the course of the three week process, I was impressed with our sales person, Emma. When I learned the dealership’s finance manager was also a female, I played a card from MrsK7’s advice book and suggested that Emma ask her to be her mentor. She hadn’t thought of that previously and today, she was so excited to update me on her progress today! “I’ll be moving around here soon,” she said. Sounds like she’s going to do well.
I’m sure I was insufferable at her age and didn’t always listen myself. Now, when someone listens and follows our suggestions, it’s so rewarding.
I'm not big on Facebook either, I had something similar happen back in the Spring with my old mail lady. She was my mail lady from 99 until we moved in 2008. We were more than just a hi when she came by, we had met for lunch, I'd been by her house, had given her plants for her garden.
She was like a ray of sunshine with her smile. During my dad's cancer, she was my dad's mail lady too for the 7 months he lived by me, she always had an ear and a hug.
I normally caught a Facebook post by her once a week. I'd gotten busy from December until the house was listed in February, hadn't been on much. The last post by her that I saw was about losing her brother to COVID the end of December. I realized I hadn't seen her posts since then so I went to her wall, she too had died, from COVID about a week after her brother passed. He lived in a different state, she didn't get it from him.
I had seen a post by her son who was talking about her not wanting to vaccinate which was her choice. I think I googled for an obituary to find posts about her and her brother being anti-vax. I was horrified that they were speaking about her this way, that it was good she died from it since she didn't want a vaccine. No one actually knew her or her brother.
She was a pretty typical church going person, she not only sung in the choir, she played an instrument in it. She used to devote her time to the church. It's beyond sad that someone who did so much for her community, didn't even get an obituary, instead she was mentioned in some anti-vax vigilante blog, cheering that "one of them" had a miserable death like they deserved.
Did you ever have one of those friends that you've known for over 30 years that you talked every few months about the past, present & future? About growing old, about getting together and going to ball games? The kind of friend that it doesn't matter if you talked six days ago or six months ago - you pick up right where you left off. Heck, you might even lead off with an insult about the other's college of choice.
I have one of those friends. Tommy J. Like me, he was an engineer for the same company and we met on a jobsite years ago. I'm guessing that it was Detroit's National Steel. The more we worked together, the more my respect for him grew. Later on, years & years later, I learned he was with a group of 8 others who integrated his elementary school in Mississippi when he was only 7 years old. He went on to Miss State and I'm certain that he was one of the few blacks in the engineering program in the 70's.
Education seemed to be a family hallmark. Tommy had quite a few siblings and all went to college. It's funny - almost everywhere we went in Detroit, Tommy would run into someone that knew him or his brothers or sisters. It was always amazing to see in-person.
Tommy was maybe three years older than me with tons of experience but I had an edge in our company's new digital drives and programmers. I remember one of his first requests was for me to teach him everything I knew about them. My response, "What are we going to do for the rest of the day?"
Detroit was a blast. The job was easy - we were essentially babysitting a steel mill making incremental improvements to improve performance or to make life easier for the operators. Weekends weren't required. During the week, we'd go see the Pistons play at Auburn Hills. I guess we probably went to 8 or 10 games that winter. Big, big fun.
I talked to Tommy soon after we moved into our new house. He had retired, finally, and we looking forward to him and his wife coming over for a few days during football and basketball season to visit. Of course, I needled him about coming to see real teams play instead of his Miss. State teams. We ended it with the usual promise to get together soon.
I called Tommy again in June and my call didn't even go to voice mail. I texted him and asked him to call me back. I called him in July, same result. I called yesterday, no joy, and sent him a message via FB's messenger.
Tommy never posted a lot of FB so I never checked him 'homepage' but, I did yesterday. Imagine my shock and dismay to learned that he had passed away in Feb. He had previously told me that he had a bout with cancer and was doing well.
His brother P told me that he contracted Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease, Classic (CJD), a disease that progresses rapidly and is always fatal. There are literally only about 1,000 cases a year in the US and it's always fatal. Had I known, I would have driven over to see him. To add to the family's struggles, Tommy's wife C passed away a month after him. It seems that she essentially gave up after his death.
Tommy was one of the great guys in my life. We kept in touch for years and now that we're back in AL, were looking forward to sitting on each other's front porch and swapping insults & stories. Tommy always had some great stories! We knew so many of the same people that it was easy to entertain each other.
Keep his sons R and C in your prayers. Tommy always talked about his boys and their accomplishments and I know he loved them, his wife, his church and his community. MrsK7 is a genius at helping people find jobs and she's already engaged R to help him with his job search. I've talked to his brother P who only lives about 70 miles from us. We'll get together soon, that I promise.
RIP Tommy - you were loved greatly by your friends, your family and yes, me.
I am sorry for your loss. Friends like that are very rare nowadays, so many people drift apart. Prayed for you and his remaining children
His brother P told me that he contracted Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease ... a disease that progresses rapidly and is always fatal.... Had I known, I would have driven over to see him. To add to the family's struggles, Tommy's wife C passed away a month after him. It seems that she essentially gave up after his death.
Not necessarily. She may have literally died of a Broken Heart. It is a real phenomenon.
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