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Still grieving the loss of my folks at 91 and 94. When they first died, I hated the arrival of each new day, it felt as though each day took me one day further away from the time when my folks were still on this earth. And as great an age as they lived to be, and as many happy years as our family had, and as much as you tell yourself that they would have ended up suffering if they had lived longer, you’re still ending up having to move on in your life without people who were so very important to your happiness. The protest that keeps coming to my mind is, “but we weren’t bothering anybody.” We kept our heads bowed under the radar, no big impacts, just living contented and uneventful lives. We weren’t bothering anybody. So why did death have to notice us?
If any of you have seen The Seventh Seal, it made the point that we argue with death in many ways, but in only one case did it work. And it wasn’t for a frail old couple of 91 and 94.
Any discussion points you guys have put up in your own minds to berate death for its interference? Even as ineffective as, but we weren’t bothering anybody.
I may be a bit off in that: from a modern social stance- Death equates to justice. That is common in our social justice system in which death is both chastised and implemented.
I stopped using ' modern' view as the process of death or having an expiration date as an ' injustice' or a ' relief'.
The ' loss' supercedes the method of demise or cause.
It ires me to no end when common comments are... They are at peace! Or suffering is no more.
Stating such avoids the impact of the loss... The perpetual cycle that grief takes for the living.
When the last breath is taken and consciousness is more. It's not peace. Otherwise when I've been at peace.. then I was dead? I think not.
I'm terribly sorry about this parental loss. Your parents are a link to your being . Some values passed .. live on. In that way..it's not a complete departure. I respect your path of grief and acceptance...
While I've certainly done a bit of arguing with death in the past myself, it never listened. Why should it? Why should I imagine I have the power to make such demands? Death is a transition all living things make regardless how cherished, valuable, or worthy another being thinks they are. As for arguing with death, you know the old saying about continuing to do the same thing over and over but expecting different results, right? Death is part of life. Without death, how could one even define life? Death isn't even a true absolute. If the being that has died ever made any impression on other beings, it will be remembered. A being remembered is still alive. Just in a more personal, private, and possibly a more rarified way. What's left in memory may be distilled down to what was best (if you're fortunate) or worst (if unfortunate).
Last edited by Parnassia; 09-08-2022 at 03:02 PM..
I don't believe that death cares who you are, what you are doing, or how long you have been alive. It is the most tragic thing about life... that is has to end and there is not anything you can do about it. It happens to everyone, no one is immune.
What I don't get is what is the point of working, learning, experiencing all the joys and heartbreaks of being alive only to have it just... end.
What I don't get is what is the point of working, learning, experiencing all the joys and heartbreaks of being alive only to have it just... end.
How do you know it ends? Can you prove it? While I haven't made up my mind about the mechanics of what persists after a body dies, I do have a sense that something continues on. Whether it is simply energy or in what form that energy transitions to...anyone's guess. It could be that all those experiences as witnessed through the senses of that body aren't lost. They're just transformed in some way. Maybe all that is, is an artifact of a brain that can't wrap itself around something so indefinable or limitless.
When I heard that Queen Elizabeth II had passed today one of my first thoughts was that she can finally, after such a long life restrained by duty, tradition, iron clad propriety, and never ending scrutiny, do whatever she wants with her time from now on. She doesn't need to carry a purse anywhere. If anyone deserved that freedom she did. Gracious survivor, hope you enjoy it!
Last edited by Parnassia; 09-08-2022 at 05:33 PM..
I don't believe that death cares who you are, what you are doing, or how long you have been alive. It is the most tragic thing about life... that is has to end and there is not anything you can do about it. It happens to everyone, no one is immune.
What I don't get is what is the point of working, learning, experiencing all the joys and heartbreaks of being alive only to have it just... end.
I just went thru this with my wife,all was well this day.
She had dementia and nothing unexpected this day,im the evening I was in bed and she walked in as stated before she pinched my toe and smiled and walked around foot of bed.standing there and when I looked again her shoulder out lined matress, iwent to aid her and she had collapsed unconcios,emt's sad she wsa flat,no heart beat.
I at first could not figure out why,after I googled I got answer,breathing and swollowing are not voluntary,brain contrls this action,made me feel better,better this than what would be ahead.
How do you know it ends? Can you prove it? While I haven't made up my mind about the mechanics of what persists after a body dies, I do have a sense that something continues on. Whether it is simply energy or in what form that energy transitions to...anyone's guess. It could be that all those experiences as witnessed through the senses of that body aren't lost. They're just transformed in some way. Maybe all that is, is an artifact of a brain that can't wrap itself around something so indefinable or limitless.
When I heard that Queen Elizabeth II had passed today one of my first thoughts was that she can finally, after such a long life restrained by duty, tradition, iron clad propriety, and never ending scrutiny, do whatever she wants with her time from now on. She doesn't need to carry a purse anywhere. If anyone deserved that freedom she did. Gracious survivor, hope you enjoy it!
What a great line.
For various reasons, I believe we do go on in some form after ditching these bodies. I would not presume to say I know what that is, however.
I’ve reread all the responses a few times, and thank you all for taking the time and clearly much thought to respond. Although nothing really helps in one way with coming to terms with grief after death, this still all helps in another way. So my thanks.
I informed my family I had mourned for my parents passing such a great number of decades; at the time 40 years. I informed them I will not be mourning anyone else's passing but for a short time. It is quite a loss to your life to mourn. I had a visitation dream and my parents showed me heaven. It felt glorious. I know where I will be when I pass; I will be with them over there in all consuming enveloping love. You have been blessed beyond belief. Let this pass and live. You will reunite with them soon enough. They Are in a better place.
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