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Do you also feel the overwhelming sense of grief/mourning? I did not lose anyone close to me but was more/less in the center of it before and after but cannot shake the deep emotions each year. Is it just me?
Back in late August 2001 my wife and I were back from
our NYC brownstone that was as close to Sloan Kettering as we
could afford to rent.
My wife was going through medical procedures related to an especially
difficult cancer prognosis. After Sloan did what they could, we returned
to our place an hour and half north of NYC. My wife's final care was spent
at a local hospital. Before she passed, I and her sisters were by her bedside
and taking turns grabbing catnaps at the hospital or going back home briefly
to shower. Soon the hospital TV's were tuned to CNN's 9/11 coverage.
These two events unfolding, my wife's situation and the 9/11 attacks, were the
most surreal time of my life to date. Even my experiences being in South Miami
when Hurricane Andrew ground through, shredding structures and vegetation,
when Dixie Highway was covered with roofing material melted to the street surface
from the South Florida heat, to the storm profiteers who parked along the sides
of US1 offering emergency supplies at big markups (before they were shut down),
didn't compare to being in the twin throes of 9/11 and my wife's life slipping away.
My heartfelt prays to all those who experienced 9/11 in NYC, especially to
those who experienced losses from the attacks. Know that many of us care greatly that
many of you feel especially unsettled every year the 9/11 anniversary rolls around.
To my thinking, that feeling that overcomes us sometimes in life, to want to do anything
to help our fellow human beings when they are under serious duress - that is getting
closest to being with our God, when our unbridled humanity breaks through all else to
help each other. We all need much more of that and less of the petty superficial stuff.
I'm a survivor (One WTC, 43rd floor at 8:46 a.m.) Lost 84 coworkers, as well as others who were part of my everyday life there, such as the security guard at the entrance I used, cafeteria workers, etc.
There's a closed FB 9/11 Support Group. Traffic on the page begins to pick up in August. A lot of people's memories and PTSD intensifies around this time.
For me, I start to get an uneasy feeling of impending doom every year, and without fail, it takes a week or so to realize "DUH, it's the anniversary, idiot."
Former coworkers tend to be close, even though many of us are now retired. We get in touch with one another. My "escape-mate", the woman with whom I was walking when AA11 slammed into us, at which point we held hands and ran for our lives, and I became bonded for life that day as soul sisters. One of us calls the other every year at 8:46 a.m. this day. (We talk, have lunch, etc., other times, of course.)
Not only is the grief and mourning for those lost, but, odd as it may sound, for the buildings themselves. That was my work home for 20 years. I worked for a time with building service contracts there and had been to places in the towers that other people never saw. I went back to work on part of the rebuilding project for a couple of years.
As I've written in other places, I feel as if I have one foot on the other side.
I'm a survivor (One WTC, 43rd floor at 8:46 a.m.) Lost 84 coworkers, as well as others who were part of my everyday life there, such as the security guard at the entrance I used, cafeteria workers, etc.
What floor were you on when it hit? I assume, below the impact zone.
In any event, I am delighted you made it through that horrible day. Plus 7,600 and then some more.
What floor were you on when it hit? I assume, below the impact zone.
In any event, I am delighted you made it through that horrible day. Plus 7,600 and then some more.
The 43rd floor. That's a lot of flights to trot down. Ouch. I have some knee and ankle problems. That certainly wouldn't have stopped me. I probably wouldn't have felt a thing because of the adrenaline rush.
The 43rd floor. That's a lot of flights to trot down. Ouch. I have some knee and ankle problems. That certainly wouldn't have stopped me. I probably wouldn't have felt a thing because of the adrenaline rush.
Walking/running down stairs is more work than you'd think. We could all barely walk the next day. Of course, getting down was not the end of it. There was a lot more running to come. Walked out into buying debris falling off the building, then later ran from the cloud, then hours of walking trying to figure out how to get off the island of Manhattan with all access to NJ cut off. (The answer was boats.)
Walking/running down stairs is more work than you'd think. We could all barely walk the next day. Of course, getting down was not the end of it. There was a lot more running to come. Walked out into buying debris falling off the building, then later ran from the cloud, then hours of walking trying to figure out how to get off the island of Manhattan with all access to NJ cut off. (The answer was boats.)
Oh my goodness I can't even imagine how you must've felt that day and feel to this day. Your family must've been frantic knowing that you were there. Walking down stairs is NO JOKE - especially in the circumstances.
My ex-husband was working at 30 Rock that morning and once they made the decision to leave, they were the last car to make it over the George Washington Bridge before they shut down all access. I was home, 8 months pregnant, having just lost my mum the month before. It was an impossible time really and always brings up all the emotions for me too.
Sending you extra love and hugs during this difficult time xxx
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