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I find that every day I am looking at the videos I have of my husband and dogs who recently passed. We weren't big on making videos, but I have a few short ones of them that I can watch on my TV. Just to see them happy and healthy and to hear their voices makes me feel as if they're still here. My biggest regret is that I have very few videos, less than 20 minutes total. Each one is precious, and I only wish there were more.
There are tons of pictures, and I have some of the most meaningful on display. I have more out than when they were alive, but not so many as to be overwhelming.
A month ago, I saw the Netflix series "After Life" by Ricky Gervais, and his character was constantly looking at videos of his deceased wife. It made me feel that maybe others did this too as a way of coping and keeping our loved ones with us. Gervais managed to capture the feelings of grief and the attitude toward it that I am experiencing.
Does anyone else find comfort in their videos and watch them often? Or is it too painful?
It's been over three years since I lost my husband and I do look at videos occasionally but not what I'd call obsessively. It's never been too painful for me to watch them.
I find that every day I am looking at the videos I have of my husband and dogs who recently passed. We weren't big on making videos, but I have a few short ones of them that I can watch on my TV. Just to see them happy and healthy and to hear their voices makes me feel as if they're still here. My biggest regret is that I have very few videos, less than 20 minutes total. Each one is precious, and I only wish there were more.
There are tons of pictures, and I have some of the most meaningful on display. I have more out than when they were alive, but not so many as to be overwhelming.
A month ago, I saw the Netflix series "After Life" by Ricky Gervais, and his character was constantly looking at videos of his deceased wife. It made me feel that maybe others did this too as a way of coping and keeping our loved ones with us. Gervais managed to capture the feelings of grief and the attitude toward it that I am experiencing.
Does anyone else find comfort in their videos and watch them often? Or is it too painful?
I lost my first wife in 2015. December 17th will be the 8-year anniversary of her passing. I have most of the photos and videos stored in my work room.
I visit her grave 3 times a year: Her birthday, Mother’s Day, and the date of her passing.
Those are the only 3 times a year, I go through the photos and videos.
Thanks for answering, Kathryn and WidowedBuckeyeDad. It's been 10 months since my husband passed, and I'm finding that watching 5 minutes of happy videos every day is helping me. I'm drawn to glance over our photo albums every couple of months. My mother is the opposite. Since my father passed 11 years ago, she hasn't wanted to look at old photos. She has kept the ones that were displayed around the house, but she doesn't want to look at those stored away.
My first wife passed away in Dec. 2010. I spent the first couple of years going through and scanning old photos, but eventually stopped looking at them. But I don't think a day goes by without me thinking of her. I'm sure its the same for my current wife, whose first husband passed away in 2013.
I look occasionally at some photos of my bf who died in March.
More significantly, we started out as friends who met on a message board, began emailing, met in person, and then started as an LDR. I would spend half the month with him, half home, then gradually longer periods in summer and winter until I was pretty much living there.
I have started the process of filing away about five years of emails that in effect document our relationship, especially in the early stages. It has been an emotional task. I do a month at a time, rereading our early emails and then printing to pdf and storing them. I also started a spreadsheet of all the YouTube song vids and concerts he sent me or that we listened to "together" when we were apart. Long-distance dating takes creativity. Our relationship was set to music, and I am preserving the playlist.
I have a wall of ancestors composed of such photos. Further, I have a military hallway and there are photos and portraits of my Father there. Finally, of the pictures I have around the house, at least one is of a friend who died too young.
It's not helpful for most people grieving that kind of loss.
It may be a matter of timing. At first when Frank died, I could not look at any photos. A few months later, I was sorting through some (digital) photos and there he was, not only him, but wonderful days spent in the magic place where he lived. For the first time, I started to remember what he looked like before he got sick (he was a six-foot-tall man over 200 pounds, strong and solid who in less than two years wasted away to maybe 75 pounds of skin, bones, and sores) and I was able to smile.
It would have hurt too much in the first weeks and months to see those photos.
My wallpaper on this laptop is a photo of my mother with my daughter, so I look at Mom every day.
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