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Last week I joined a FB group dedicated to going gray/silver/white...going natural. The group consists mostly of women posting pictures of themselves in varying stages of 'natural' and gray/silver/white.
If you join the group, you must agree to their rules, which is basically...be nice and don't be making disparaging remarks on anyone's picture or post. "Easy enough" I thought. "I have no desire to give anyone a hard time for going natural. After all, I've been natural for about 3 years now, and I love my color. I wouldn't harass anyone else for their choice."
What I didn't realize about this group; various members were going to get all sanctimonious about going natural. Like it was somehow taking the moral high ground for going natural, and those women outside the group who still chose to color their hair were 'less than' and not on the same plane as the rest of us. And a couple of members even got snide and snotty about women who color their hair.
If I didn't like the color of my hair...I'd color it. In the past, my hair has been blue, purple, lavender, brown and red. I absolutely feel like women (really, anyone) should feel free to do whatever they want with their hair. Viva la difference! I celebrate the freedom to do what we want with our hair.
The sanctimonious attitudes were making me feel sassy. I felt like some of the ladies were being kind of chicken ****...making fun of other people who weren't there to defend themselves...and hiding behind "be nice to the gray hairs" rules.
I kept my sassy thoughts to myself and just took myself out of the group instead. And I thought "PJ Saturn would be proud of me." LOL
So ladies...I'm guessing most of us have hair on our heads. What's your thoughts on your crowning glory? Do you like playing with color, or are you natural?
IMHO, people who care so much about being natural silver crones they'd create and participate in a Farcebook group devoted to the topic seem predisposed to being sanctimonious about it. People who don't care that much wouldn't bother. They'd just get on with it and prioritize other things.
As for my own crowning glory, its naturally blonde so while it is going grey it isn't all that noticeable yet. The trend is exactly like my mother's. We all know many natural blondes go darker as they get older. When my hair grew back in after a course of chemo it was darker and the usual sun exposure didn't have its usual effect. I started getting highlight weaves periodically after that but they've been pretty subtle. If/when the grey transitions to a lighter shade or white, I'll stop. Its the lightness of the hair's color that matters more to me, not whether that lighter color is grey or blonde.
Last edited by Parnassia; 02-01-2022 at 12:06 PM..
IMHO, people who care so much about being natural silver crones they'd create and participate in a Farcebook group devoted to the topic seem predisposed to being sanctimonious about it. People who don't care that much wouldn't bother. They'd just get on with it and prioritize other things.
As for my own crowning glory, its naturally blonde so while it is going grey it isn't all that noticeable yet. The trend is exactly like my mother's. We all know many natural blondes go darker as they get older. When my hair grew back in after a course of chemo it was darker and the usual sun exposure didn't have its usual effect. I started getting highlight weaves periodically after that but they've been pretty subtle. If/when the grey transitions to a lighter shade or white, I'll stop. Its the lightness of the hair's color that matters more to me, not whether that lighter color is grey or blonde.
Well, live and learn on my part. LOL But yeah...you're not wrong.
Other than dying my hair for fun every so often, I'm letting the grey come in naturally. I've never wanted to go to the time and effort and cost it takes to keep my hair its natural dark brown, and it's been interesting to see how my hair is changing over time. I'm in my mid-40s, and my hair is probably 5-10% grey, so it's not hugely noticeable, anyway.
I wonder if the sanctimonious reaction from the FB group is a defense mechanism, since so often women with grey hair are criticized for "letting themselves go." It's not a great reaction either way.
Same on Instagram - it's trendy to be a "naturally graying" gal now. I noticed though that most of the accounts like this happen to be very attractive women who would look good with just about any color hair.
As for me, I'm half Asian and I personally think Asian women, like my mom, generally look crappy with gray hair - it doesn't look good against our skin tones. So for now I'm continuing to dye. I've gone blonde balayage for a few years now. Also, I've figured out how to do an okay job on my own (Covid forced me!) - dying my roots and using a drugstore highlight kit that actually works.
At the point I get tired of dyeing, I'll probably still tone the gray with some fun colors. Like the Manic Panic stuff.
I keep my hair dark by dying it myself. It's a big pain in the a$$ but I really, really do not want to go natural (gray), at least not yet.
Quite often I observe someone with gray hair and think that it makes them look older than necessary; on the other hand, a part of me admires that they can do it and be free of the upkeep. My hair is also very long.
I keep thinking I'm going to look pretty hot with a full head of gray hair, but it is coming is SOOOOOOOOOOOo slowly. I stopped dying it when I retired.
My mother had this white hair, it was so beautiful, it looks like clouds.
People might think I'm my husband's mother. LOL. He doesn't care.
Other than dying my hair for fun every so often, I'm letting the grey come in naturally. I've never wanted to go to the time and effort and cost it takes to keep my hair its natural dark brown, and it's been interesting to see how my hair is changing over time. I'm in my mid-40s, and my hair is probably 5-10% grey, so it's not hugely noticeable, anyway.
I wonder if the sanctimonious reaction from the FB group is a defense mechanism, since so often women with grey hair are criticized for "letting themselves go." It's not a great reaction either way.
Maybe. But those ladies are in a protected environment. The rules of the group expressly protect them. It's not cool to use that protected status to be snide or sanctimonious towards women who likely don't even know about this group.
I suppose it peeves me a little more than it typically would, because a few years ago, when I WAS still dying my hair, a friend of mine, whose hair was natural, suggested I should go natural and "embrace my inner crone." That friend is a kitchen witch, and at the time, she had the whole Earth Mother vibe going on. (Maybe she still does, but she went back to coloring her hair.) At the time, I felt a little bit judged. lol
Maybe. But those ladies are in a protected environment. The rules of the group expressly protect them. It's not cool to use that protected status to be snide or sanctimonious towards women who likely don't even know about this group.
I suppose it peeves me a little more than it typically would, because a few years ago, when I WAS still dying my hair, a friend of mine, whose hair was natural, suggested I should go natural and "embrace my inner crone." That friend is a kitchen witch, and at the time, she had the whole Earth Mother vibe going on. (Maybe she still does, but she went back to coloring her hair.) At the time, I felt a little bit judged. lol
Unfortunately, some women are prone to being peer-judgey and enforcing a certain status-quo within their group. I steer clear of women who act like this - thus none of my friends are like this at all.
Last week I joined a FB group dedicated to going gray/silver/white...going natural. The group consists mostly of women posting pictures of themselves in varying stages of 'natural' and gray/silver/white.
If you join the group, you must agree to their rules, which is basically...be nice and don't be making disparaging remarks on anyone's picture or post. "Easy enough" I thought. "I have no desire to give anyone a hard time for going natural. After all, I've been natural for about 3 years now, and I love my color. I wouldn't harass anyone else for their choice."
What I didn't realize about this group; various members were going to get all sanctimonious about going natural. Like it was somehow taking the moral high ground for going natural, and those women outside the group who still chose to color their hair were 'less than' and not on the same plane as the rest of us. And a couple of members even got snide and snotty about women who color their hair.
If I didn't like the color of my hair...I'd color it. In the past, my hair has been blue, purple, lavender, brown and red. I absolutely feel like women (really, anyone) should feel free to do whatever they want with their hair. Viva la difference! I celebrate the freedom to do what we want with our hair.
The sanctimonious attitudes were making me feel sassy. I felt like some of the ladies were being kind of chicken ****...making fun of other people who weren't there to defend themselves...and hiding behind "be nice to the gray hairs" rules.
I kept my sassy thoughts to myself and just took myself out of the group instead. And I thought "PJ Saturn would be proud of me." LOL
So ladies...I'm guessing most of us have hair on our heads. What's your thoughts on your crowning glory? Do you like playing with color, or are you natural?
I have been following the silversisters hashtag on Insta for a while. I have very pale blonde hair so it would not be a big transition for me, but I can see how women who have darker hair and colored hair would want to blend it in with professional color during the transition.
I agree that people should do whatever they like. However, personally, I think hair that is silver for four inches and then suddenly an obviously dyed brown or other color is nothing I would wear as I think it looks tacky and terrible. Those women get no points for suffering through it, and their sanctimony is ridiculous.
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