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My opinion is that if you limit yourself so with regard to who you will and will not date, you may eventually find yourself an old man asking a knot hole in a fence for a date. Find someone who you are compatible with. It doesn't matter what the color of their skin is.
and I told you not to give that advice, do you read?
and no, race matters to me, I am not sexually attracted to black or asian women, and before you say how can I expect for white women to be attracted to me, the fact that I am not attracted to black or asian girls has nothing to do with it
I want to date White girls on the regular and want to know, living in the deep south isn;t doing it since this place is so racist, I want to know better places to move to.
And believe me, if these girls are dating dudes from the ghetto with saggy pants that call women B*tches then I am not that worse off, waiting for a good response.
this thread does not belong in the relationships section, that section is full of angry feminists and unfair mods who will lock just about any thread, if that isn't enough it is also full of racist people who think dating a white woman is a crime
this thread belongs on this section where we have serious people that can give me advice rather than a bunch of trolls and crooked mods who will lock a thread just because it screams race
and I told you not to give that advice, do you read?
and no, race matters to me, I am not sexually attracted to black or asian women, and before you say how can I expect for white women to be attracted to me, the fact that I am not attracted to black or asian girls has nothing to do with it
I want to date White girls on the regular and want to know, living in the deep south isn;t doing it since this place is so racist, I want to know better places to move to.
And believe me, if these girls are dating dudes from the ghetto with saggy pants that call women B*tches then I am not that worse off, waiting for a good response.
You could have a strong urge to date an orangutan, but if they aren't attracted to you, it ain't going to happen. Hence my advice. Sorry if this isn't what you want to hear. By the way, if they are dating guys from the "ghetto with saggy pants that call women B*tches", it seems to me that the problem is with the women, and in that case, why would you want to date them?
If you suffer from severe depression, posting here isn't going to help you. Trust me on this. It is something I know something about. You probably should seek the help of a mental help professional, not us airheads on City-data. This is the best advice I can give you. Depression is treatable, as is obsessive-compulsive behavior.
Well, might as well share my story and hope someone tries to help me out.
The kind of girls I am attracted to are White and European, I don't know why but I just am. The girls I have mostly been with have been either Latina or Mixed Race. Now generally, I think I am an alright looking guy. Got accepted into beautifulpeople.com without any issues and I have been told I am handsome a few times.
Thing is, I live in the deep south where people generally stick to their own race. I am Indian ethnically (India) but was born and raised in the USA.
I really want to date girls who are White and have asked some out but it hasn't really gone anywhere. I mean I get depressed about this sometimes and feel like wanting to discuss it on the internet or talk about it obsessively. Sometimes I go to sleep at night just thinking about this.
I hear about how even in places like Canada and the big cities, it is unheard of to see Indian men date White women.
I know you guys will say "well be open minded and date other races, forget about White girls" but honestly those are the kind of girls I love the most and am the most attracted to. Then you will say "well you can't expect to be mad at White women for not dating you then" for which I will argue with you and this thread will end up a mess.
I honestly want a solution for my problem other than that. I honestly want to know of a place on this planet where an Indian guy who looks good himself and has his things together can date attractive White girls without any issues. Where most women who are White won't hold guy being Indian against him.
Or I want something to help me recover from this depression, any ideas?
you sound like you are so focused on the outside you do not look at the inside of not only yourself but on everyone else
and I am sorry but the south is full of interracial couples
please do not heap your problem on us!
beautiful people
GAG!! what a self worshiping bunch of folks
I have known folks who on the outside looked great but when you got to know them
they became very hard to look at
OP - your problem seems to be deep within you. You post in tons of forms on city data, even the work and employment forum. You've got different screen names. Yes, you are obsessive.
Your problem is that you don't want to date these blond, white girls. You just want to have sex with lots of them. They've got you figured out long before it gets to the going out stage. They just don't see you as " dating" material. Whatever vibe you're giving off, it's turning your favored women off to you.
This has nothing to so with where you live in the country. The south is full of mixed couples. You're not even dark skinned Indian, you could as easily be a dark haired Italian or dark haired British, Irish, etc. The problem is your attitude, your personality, etc. It's not about race or ethnicity. Whether you leer at blond girls, the way you talk to them, etc.- but it is deep within you. They can pick up that you're just about sex and nothing else.
Moving won't change that. Until you can learn to see blonds as people and not sex objects your problem will continue. None of them will freely date you. On the meantime, since you don't want personal relationships, just go pay for it. And don't say you do want relationships. If your idea of a relationship is having sex with a blond whenever you want, that is not a relationship.
Relationships are based on much more than sex and you seem to have nothing to offer in the other than sex department. You need to work on yourself before you will ever be attractive to your favorite type.
OP - your problem seems to be deep within you. You post in tons of forms on city data, even the work and employment forum. You've got different screen names. Yes, you are obsessive.
Your problem is that you don't want to date these blond, white girls. You just want to have sex with lots of them. They've got you figured out long before it gets to the going out stage. They just don't see you as " dating" material. Whatever vibe you're giving off, it's turning your favored women off to you.
This has nothing to so with where you live in the country. The south is full of mixed couples. You're not even dark skinned Indian, you could as easily be a dark haired Italian or dark haired British, Irish, etc. The problem is your attitude, your personality, etc. It's not about race or ethnicity. Whether you leer at blond girls, the way you talk to them, etc.- but it is deep within you. They can pick up that you're just about sex and nothing else.
Moving won't change that. Until you can learn to see blonds as people and not sex objects your problem will continue. None of them will freely date you. On the meantime, since you don't want personal relationships, just go pay for it. And don't say you do want relationships. If your idea of a relationship is having sex with a blond whenever you want, that is not a relationship.
Relationships are based on much more than sex and you seem to have nothing to offer in the other than sex department. You need to work on yourself before you will ever be attractive to your favorite type.
.
Yeah, maybe your luck with women would improve if you left the South. But I doubt it because there does seem to be something desperate/needy/unattrative about you. I don't know what it is nor presume to guess. But its pretty clearly there. Considering that there IS an awful lot of interracial dating in the South, especially among those your age cohort, and considering that physically unattractive men of all social classes, ages, races, and regions, manage to get at last some of the women they want to sleep with them, I don't think race is an issue for you. It's something else. The women you lust after can smell it, and they don't like it.
Unfortunately, you don't know what it is either, so you blame it on your ethnicity. Find out what it is and yes, DO see someone, a professional to talk to to and find out whether your obseesion with white girls is about something else, whether your just approaching the wrong ones, whether your approach at all is wrong, etc. Often, group therapy is also good for stuff like this because others can see you much more clearly than you can see yourself. Under the guidance of a good therapist, the group can help you gain some insight.
But for any of that to work, you have to be fearless, honest and unafraid. Are you?
I think American society makes many non white people believe that they are inadequate. I find that a lot of dark men in particular are always trying to gain validation by dating light or white women. They rarely, if ever find women who share their same color or complexion attractive.
This presents a major problem for dark women in the U.S. because often there is no one or very few who will date us.
Well, might as well share my story and hope someone tries to help me out.
The kind of girls I am attracted to are White and European, I don't know why but I just am. The girls I have mostly been with have been either Latina or Mixed Race. Now generally, I think I am an alright looking guy. Got accepted into beautifulpeople.com without any issues and I have been told I am handsome a few times.
Thing is, I live in the deep south where people generally stick to their own race. I am Indian ethnically (India) but was born and raised in the USA.
I really want to date girls who are White and have asked some out but it hasn't really gone anywhere. I mean I get depressed about this sometimes and feel like wanting to discuss it on the internet or talk about it obsessively. Sometimes I go to sleep at night just thinking about this.
I hear about how even in places like Canada and the big cities, it is unheard of to see Indian men date White women.
I know you guys will say "well be open minded and date other races, forget about White girls" but honestly those are the kind of girls I love the most and am the most attracted to. Then you will say "well you can't expect to be mad at White women for not dating you then" for which I will argue with you and this thread will end up a mess.
I honestly want a solution for my problem other than that. I honestly want to know of a place on this planet where an Indian guy who looks good himself and has his things together can date attractive White girls without any issues. Where most women who are White won't hold guy being Indian against him.
Or I want something to help me recover from this depression, any ideas?
LookingForHelp,
I understand what you mean about being attracted to a certain look.
I am a white female, but have always been attracted to guys with some color.
(And I have dated an Indian guy & think they are generally, among the most attractive.)
Still, I have come to see how personality and character can make or break looks.
I dated a guy that was a professional model & constantly reminded me of it - annoying.
Another guy I normally wasn't attracted to (white) - after I got to know him, his looks seem to change - to becoming so good looking - I fell in love/infatuation!
Looks aren't everything - but they are something - they help with chemistry, but they're not all.
I'd suggest a couple of things...
1. Deal with your depression. Consider the cognitive distortions 15 Common Cognitive Distortions | Psych Central and life traps/schemas Schema Therapy that you may have subconsciously accumulated over your life. Learn to see the beauty in all people, especially in yourself. Don't worry so much what others think of you - or what they have to offer. Be interested in learning about yourself & sharing that with others, and getting to know others, realizing how much we all have in common. Exercise and eat well.
2. Go to the right places to meet women. My first suggestion would be to volunteer through an organization like United Way. http://apps.unitedway.org/myuw/ Don't go there just to meet people, but go to make a positive contribution - it will also help with your depression. Also, if you're religious, or even if you're not - maybe check out religious activities. I met my husband through a church dance on a University campus.
Take care!
Last edited by SuperSoul; 07-18-2013 at 02:10 PM..
I think American society makes many non white people believe that they are inadequate. I find that a lot of dark men in particular are always trying to gain validation by dating light or white women. They rarely, if ever find women who share their same color or complexion attractive.
This presents a major problem for dark women in the U.S. because often there is no one or very few who will date us.
That may happen sometimes.
It might leave one feeling short on options.
Yet, I believe that people are varied - & several guys I know are attracted only to women with some color.
I'm not black, but on my mirror, it says, "BLACK IS BEAUTIFUL!" And it's true!
Mia, you are beautiful - you are a miracle - inside and out!
A friend of mine is from Africa and is Muslim so she kindof stands out because she always wears a hijab to cover her hair. She went dancing with me a couple of times and BOTH times, guys were swarming around her.
Yet, she's also told me that she's received her share of treaments that seemed to reflect prejudice and it used to bug her. Then, she decided to assume the best - that the people may have had a hard day, or for some reason personal to THEM, they had a sour look on their faces, etc. She'd smile and be her usual friendly self and she said that made a big difference both in how she felt and in how people responded to her.
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