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I don't know how to tell. My depression has been amplified by menopause for the past few years so I've been extra depressed. I had to stop taking Wellbutrin because it was causing headaches and can't seem to find a med that will replace it so there's been lots of tinkering. Not feeling confident at all, about anything. No hobbies or interests outside of watching a lot of TV. Youngest daughter went to college and left me all alone. Gained a lot of weight due to pandemic. I'm in a very low place.
I've changed jobs recently...left my last job under a cloud of shame as my last supervisor and I did not see eye to eye. I was essentially invited to resign rather than be fired after 2 years on the job. Relocated 3x in 3 years........very stressful.
Now I'm settled in a new town with a new job. Took a chance on both. Unfortunately, due to the pandemic there is not much to do at work but sit at a desk and hope people ask me to do something for them. I do crossword puzzles and read books, but the bottom line is the job is boring. Nice people, nice environment, just not enough work to do. And I've been really, really depressed about it. Dread going to work (also dread going home due to loneliness).
A few times I have gotten ideas for interesting projects and run them by my division manager only to be shot down. No encouragement. I have expressed that I am feeling unchallenged and asked for advice on what I could be doing with my time. No response. My immediate supervisor is sympathetic but powerless to help me feel more fulfilled in the job.
Today at work I decided to look at the job postings for my area. Found a job that I am overqualified for but is similar in pay to what I am doing now. Would involve a 35 minute drive to work (I currently have about 12 min drive). Might have opportunity for advancement.
How do I know if changing jobs is going to be a plus for me? What if I am out of the frying pan, into the fire? How can I judge an unknown environment compared to what is known but appears to make me unhappy?
I can't imagine doing this for 12 more years. Do I take a chance on the unknown even if I don't feel confident about taking chances?
Speaking as a man who you could argue has gone through a severe midlife crisis the past 10 years in addition to chronic depression, changing jobs is just a band aid. Well, maybe it's a bit more than that. For me, changing jobs in a city I hate would be a band aid, but would never solve the bigger issue which is I despise where I live. I've tried for 5 years now to move back home and haven't been successful. I've been top 2 or 3 several times and other times the salary was too low to justify, given it is now 46% more expensive to live in my hometown than where I currently live. So I am truly stuck.
I agree with sportslover on volunteering and am looking into that myself if I can find a cause to get behind. For me it would be something for the elderly or animals. But cleaning poop for animals isn't exactly what I have in mind. Meals on Wheels doesn't really exist here. If COVID ever ends, volunteering at a nursing home will likely be what I do. Maybe foster a dog as well. I love dogs and surely that would improve my own mood. Find something for you.
Yeah, but the depression is real, and pervasive, and I don't give a crap about personal hobbies, even ones I used to really enjoy, so volunteering holds no interest for me either. I feel dead inside every day.
I have been going to Meetups and working on meeting people when I feel up to it, and I'm still active in a Meetup from my previous city which is only 2 hours away. I see my daughters occasionally. The problem isn't filling time outside of work. The problem is that work is crushing my soul.
I took a week off to go visit my mother, which I thought was going to be awful. But it turned out that it felt good to not be at work.
I am increasingly interested in this job that I applied for. If I get an interview I'm going to go for it. I wish I had more confidence in my judgement but in general I feel like if you aren't happy, making changes is the only way out, and I can't make changes with my current job. It is what it is.
Yeah, but the depression is real, and pervasive, and I don't give a crap about personal hobbies, even ones I used to really enjoy, so volunteering holds no interest for me either. I feel dead inside every day.
I have been going to Meetups and working on meeting people when I feel up to it, and I'm still active in a Meetup from my previous city which is only 2 hours away. I see my daughters occasionally. The problem isn't filling time outside of work. The problem is that work is crushing my soul.
I took a week off to go visit my mother, which I thought was going to be awful. But it turned out that it felt good to not be at work.
I am increasingly interested in this job that I applied for. If I get an interview I'm going to go for it. I wish I had more confidence in my judgement but in general I feel like if you aren't happy, making changes is the only way out, and I can't make changes with my current job. It is what it is.
So, which is it...does your work alone create your depression or does underlying depression affect your work? Chicken or egg? What is cause and what is effect? Some of the things you mentioned don't have anything to do with a job. The empty nest, medication problems, self esteem. A personal counselor might help you figure out what's really the driver behind this. It may be a combination of things. Sure, a new job is stimulating and the new learning curve can certainly invigorate you, but it might just push the depression under the rug for awhile. It could pop up again once things settle down again. I think I'd get help (or at least a different set of eyes) to tease it apart more to make sure I really understand what's going on instead of going through a revolving door (hasn't worked before, right?). If the issue really does seem to be a particular job, you can pursue one that's better suited for you with a clearer head. If the true issue is ever present regardless what work you do, better to understand and tackle that.
So, which is it...does your work alone create your depression or does underlying depression affect your work? Chicken or egg? What is cause and what is effect? Some of the things you mentioned don't have anything to do with a job. The empty nest, medication problems, self esteem. A personal counselor might help you figure out what's really the driver behind this. It may be a combination of things. Sure, a new job is stimulating and the new learning curve can certainly invigorate you, but it might just push the depression under the rug for awhile. It could pop up again once things settle down again. I think I'd get help (or at least a different set of eyes) to tease it apart more to make sure I really understand what's going on instead of going through a revolving door (hasn't worked before, right?). If the issue really does seem to be a particular job, you can pursue one that's better suited for you with a clearer head. If the true issue is ever present regardless what work you do, better to understand and tackle that.
I have a therapist, and a psychiatrist. I've tried TMS and a variety of meds. I even changed what I eat. no stone has gone unturned in my search for relief.
I don't know how to tell. My depression has been amplified by menopause for the past few years so I've been extra depressed. I had to stop taking Wellbutrin because it was causing headaches and can't seem to find a med that will replace it so there's been lots of tinkering. Not feeling confident at all, about anything. No hobbies or interests outside of watching a lot of TV. Youngest daughter went to college and left me all alone. Gained a lot of weight due to pandemic. I'm in a very low place.
I've changed jobs recently...left my last job under a cloud of shame as my last supervisor and I did not see eye to eye. I was essentially invited to resign rather than be fired after 2 years on the job. Relocated 3x in 3 years........very stressful.
Now I'm settled in a new town with a new job. Took a chance on both. Unfortunately, due to the pandemic there is not much to do at work but sit at a desk and hope people ask me to do something for them. I do crossword puzzles and read books, but the bottom line is the job is boring. Nice people, nice environment, just not enough work to do. And I've been really, really depressed about it. Dread going to work (also dread going home due to loneliness).
A few times I have gotten ideas for interesting projects and run them by my division manager only to be shot down. No encouragement. I have expressed that I am feeling unchallenged and asked for advice on what I could be doing with my time. No response. My immediate supervisor is sympathetic but powerless to help me feel more fulfilled in the job.
Today at work I decided to look at the job postings for my area. Found a job that I am overqualified for but is similar in pay to what I am doing now. Would involve a 35 minute drive to work (I currently have about 12 min drive). Might have opportunity for advancement.
How do I know if changing jobs is going to be a plus for me? What if I am out of the frying pan, into the fire? How can I judge an unknown environment compared to what is known but appears to make me unhappy?
I can't imagine doing this for 12 more years. Do I take a chance on the unknown even if I don't feel confident about taking chances?
Hey,
Its totally depends on you that who can you taking your job a considering only work or considering as a interest. I think you have to decide first that you like this job or not , if you like to work in this present environment then there is a no need to change this job, but if you are boring with this your regular life and with this job then you have to change it for yourself. Because if you think that this job is not suitable for you then defiantly because of this reason you are going in depression and that why your are not taking proper decision. So my suggestion is take a some time of break or leave and spend the time with yourself by travelling or anything you want, And then after a break do the same job where you were, If you feel that after the break you will be fine now you will not need to leave this job, Otherwise, even if you do not like it, then you should leave this job and join another.
I have a therapist, and a psychiatrist. I've tried TMS and a variety of meds. I even changed what I eat. no stone has gone unturned in my search for relief.
Sounds like you're doing the best you can. I think if this current job is crushing your soul and it may be time to move on. See how the interview for the new position goes before deciding your options and make sure you can get savings set aside just in case. Best of luck!
So I didn't get an interview for the other job. It is a department of defense job and they give preference to active duty spouses and recent retirees, etc. I was sad about it but not too sad.
Things have picked up at my current job and I'm taking a new medication so I'm feeling better about the day to day. Still don't know about the next 12 years but for a while I'll be okay.
Always working on saving money for the next move.......
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