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Background info. Am 52 and was diagnosed ten years ago during counseling for PTSD & depression. Combined counseling and medication through trial and error to find what works best for my conditions. Most times I’m pretty good. COVID has impacted my depression and anxiety more so because I work at a hospital (boiler room rotating shifts). Expansion construction and renovations at work have increased my stress. Today I’ve had a return of one of my Aspergers symptoms, the mind that won’t shut off. Rough few days at work and other issues combined. I go to bed tired. Can’t hardly sleep because my mind has become hyper focused on something stupid, what engine would be best to install in the 1984 Buick Skyhawk I had as my second car if I still had the car. I turn on the tv to something to try to distract my mind from the thoughts, try listening to music through headphones, try watching YouTube videos, and try watching anime videos but once I close my eyes my mind returns to “would a 94 Cavalier 2.2L 120 hp engine be better than a more powerful 2.2L Ecotec engine at 140 hp or would a GM 1.4L turbo at 138 hp fit and work in the 84 Skyhawk?
When you have this condition you don’t get to choose what you become hyper focused on. When it happens it’s incredibly difficult to get off the topic. I’m mature enough to know other people don’t share the interest nor fascination in the things my mind has become hyper focused upon so I don’t bring it up in conversations at work nor with family. In my younger years when I didn’t know I had Aspergers I regularly tried to find ways to inject these things into conversations because it was so fascinating to me surely others would find it just as fascinating and thus I would be more fascinating to them. Instead it made me seem even more strange and weird to others.
A friend of my wife has a teenage son also diagnosed with Aspergers. His case seems more extreme than my own. I was able to function enough to hold jobs, serve 8 years in the military, and have relationships with ladies including marriage (15 1/2 years now and still together). In his case he refuses counseling and medication. In my case I sought help and listened to my wife and coworkers. My wife notices changes in my behavior better than I do and she’s been the one to suggest I ask about trying a different form of medication or asking if I may need an additional medication like for anxiety. My emotions and behavior have greatly improved. Downside is my motivation is low and my weight is up partially because of the medication.
Please, if you have issues please seek help. You’re not doing yourself a favor by trying to handle it yourself. Self medicating through drugs and alcohol will only mask the symptoms which will get much worse once sober and unable to function properly. I’ve seen this first hand in close relatives.
Congratulations to you and your family for "managing" your disease.
When you received your diagnosis, you were a mature man, able to grasp the implications of the disease. You had a family structure to help. Your past actions probably became more understandable to you once you had the diagnosis.
Unfortunately your friend's son is a teenager with rampant hormones. These are probably the most difficult years and the stress of his diagnosis is probably just too much for him to absorb right now. Teenagers are in the midst of becoming separate from their parents and challenge parental controls. This is normal. However, this boy is torn between his independence and his parents' concerns. A difficult position.
Congratulations to you and your family for "managing" your disease.
When you received your diagnosis, you were a mature man, able to grasp the implications of the disease. You had a family structure to help. Your past actions probably became more understandable to you once you had the diagnosis.
Unfortunately your friend's son is a teenager with rampant hormones. These are probably the most difficult years and the stress of his diagnosis is probably just too much for him to absorb right now. Teenagers are in the midst of becoming separate from their parents and challenge parental controls. This is normal. However, this boy is torn between his independence and his parents' concerns. A difficult position.
When I was a teenager I hovered constantly on the verge of suicide. Today those suicide thoughts are much lower and less frequent than in the past. It never goes away entirely. I also use to self harm. Would pull hair out and pull off the pinky toe nails. Never stopped biting my nails. Have managed to stop biting the nails on five fingers. Baby steps.
My Aspergers does help in some way at work. I can visualize the hospital in my mind and move through the hospital to review the location of systems, equipment, and how and where they interconnect with each other. I can also visualize all the different routes to get to different areas more quickly to respond to emergencies like people trapped in elevators for example.
I'm obsessed with things a lot, its always cities and video games, also music.
I'm like if a game was made on a supercomputer how would it look. I just posted a cool city I've made and nothing much I can add to it. But there is always thought and they are good except when some days its not good to think about anything. Then I start drinking and feel ok again until the next day I'm hung over. Kinda sucks but ya. I hate pills, I took them when I was young. I like weed if I'm not sad. Anything that is relaxing. Pills make me feel like I'm going crazy.
I'm obsessed with things a lot, its always cities and video games, also music.
I'm like if a game was made on a supercomputer how would it look. I just posted a cool city I've made and nothing much I can add to it. But there is always thought and they are good except when some days its not good to think about anything. Then I start drinking and feel ok again until the next day I'm hung over. Kinda sucks but ya. I hate pills, I took them when I was young. I like weed if I'm not sad. Anything that is relaxing. Pills make me feel like I'm going crazy.
That’s why I had to go through trial and error to find the right pills. Needed a combination of Prozac and an anti-anxiety to get a god balance. Downside is lack of motivation which has resulted in weight gain. Occasionally I still get obsessed thoughts but most times they don’t linger like they use to. Japanese anime and cars are my most recent obsessions. I recently went online tire shopping for tires that would fit the first three cars I owned in the past as well as “I wonder what my first car felt like to drive when new and working properly?” (It had 6 cylinders but one of the cylinders was dead). Back in the late 90s I thought similar to you. What would it be like if I could take a desktop computer, upgrade the video board, Ram, and completely remove all the Windows software replacing it with just a gaming server like a game system. In those days computer games were hampered by all the garbage in Windows that NEVER would completely shut off thus taking up processing power and memory space that would speed up computer games.
I'm obsessed with things a lot, its always cities and video games, also music.
I'm like if a game was made on a supercomputer how would it look. I just posted a cool city I've made and nothing much I can add to it. But there is always thought and they are good except when some days its not good to think about anything. Then I start drinking and feel ok again until the next day I'm hung over. Kinda sucks but ya. I hate pills, I took them when I was young. I like weed if I'm not sad. Anything that is relaxing. Pills make me feel like I'm going crazy.
The most relaxed I’ve ever been was when I was stationed in Gaeta Italy. Regularly I would go off alone to go hiking the roads and mountain trails walking through 2000 year old Roman buildings or seeing remains of structures build in the WW2 era. The time in the sun, fresh air, constantly changing scenery, no loud noises, and virtually no people made me far more relaxed than ever before. Where I live now has no such hiking trails and the summer air is far too hot and humid (south Louisiana). Closest to a hiking trail is certain state parks and are filled with mosquitoes as well as other biting bugs. Would have to spray myself down with Deep Woods Off to avoid them and the trails aren’t like the trails along the small mountains in that part of Italy.
Four years ago I figured out that my then 30-year old son who lives with me has Asperger's. I've never told him because he gets offended and defensive easily. He has childish obsessions he can't get out of his head. If other people witnessed these acts, they'd think he was nuts. OTOH, he has great communication skills and no one can beat him at strategy games.
Four years ago I figured out that my then 30-year old son who lives with me has Asperger's. I've never told him because he gets offended and defensive easily. He has childish obsessions he can't get out of his head. If other people witnessed these acts, they'd think he was nuts. OTOH, he has great communication skills and no one can beat him at strategy games.
Wow, this sounds so close to home to me! Does your son work? I'm in the same predicament right now. I'm at my wit's end. I should be entering my senior years more relaxed after working hard my entire life, but I can't because every single day I have to worry about what is going to happen to my adult child. My child is extremely smart, has a college degree but fails to be able to find or keep a job. Anytime, I try to start a conversation regarding this, my son gets so defensive.
He has worked steadily part-time (no one hires full time for what he's qualified for) largely for the past six years. Prior to that, he worked four seasons at the baseball stadium but would stay unemployed during the off season. For the several years prior to that, he was unemployed. I filled out apps for him online (he wouldn't do it) and he would literally get only one or two interviews a year and not be hired.
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