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You need to get a consultation with her doctor — the one she alleges has diagnosed cancer — and get confirmation of that condition. Tell her if she refuses to agree to that, you will leave her. If she admits that she falsified that she has cancer, start planning your escape. If she has cancer, stick it out. You don’t have to get divorced. You can get a legal separation so she can stay on your insurance. You need to find a way out. Also, see if you can find a caregiver support group.
I definitely will get confirmation soon - one way or the other. It's just not the right time at the moment. I have looked into finding a support group - not sure how interested I am in it though.
I've seen the x-rays and MRIs and whatever else. I know the physical things are/were there. I've seen the scans of her knees and know the arthritis was there - don't think many orthopedic surgeons at a major hospital would be willing to do knee replacements if they weren't needed.
You might be surprised.
I have one knee that has no cartilage at all. The other has some cartilage left. I estimate my walking ability at about 80% of what it was when I had two healthy knees. I have arthritis, but only minor pain. I can get total knee replacements scheduled any time I want.
That's the thing about pain: No one can prove you don't have it.
Your wife is using you. People like that always seem to do fine. I doubt she has cancer. Find out and then when you see it’s a lie leave and save yourself.
I know this goes against everything you believe, but you've got to save yourself. Your wife's stories don't hold water. You know that now. Her behavior towards you is only going to get worse because she's not getting the attention she wants.
I'm sorry you got taken in. Men have that protective instinct, bless 'em. Even my spouse, who is the least affectionate person I know, has that instinct kick in from time to time.
You owe it to yourself to live a better life in the time that's remaining. That's NOT quitting, that's detaching yourself from a scammer. Don't worry about your wife. I expect she will find a way to cope, probably latch onto some other guy. Perhaps you and your lawyer can put together a divorce settlement with a small limited-time stipend for her.
While writing this I had the idle thought of "What would happen if the OP put in a couple of hidden internet cameras? What would he see happening while he's at work?"
Good thought, Fluffy. I think his wife is a grifter.
That's the thing about pain: No one can prove you don't have it.
This is true, and pain affects everyone differently. She happens to have a very low pain tolerance but a high tolerance for medication. Been that way since she was young. Not a good combination.
Oh my dear. You are so miserable. You sure put up with a lot.
Sorry to say your wife acts just like an addict does.Mental illness is tricky but when there are so many other problems to go with it.... I gather she is taking pain pills. Well we know she is addicted to them. Is it possible she is complaining so she can be sure to gt her prescriptions refilled?
Some people just want a mommy or daddy and get married to people who are the sensitive care-givers.
They are frightened of being alone. They spot a prospect and start grooming them.
I am sorry for you but now you should get a separation and let wife work it out herself. You need a break.
It's not a good marriage when you are being treated so poorly that you cannot thrive. You deserve to flourish.
I agree that a camera set-up might help straighten things out for you. You'd have the truth one way or the other and might find it easier to plan forward.
cant you just leave her?
You make a mistake ,you have to dig yourself out of it.
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