Quote:
Originally Posted by Edwin2021
I am just waiting to die from chronic kidney disease. I am not suicidal. No I am not going to kill myself. Relax. I am just going to wait until I die from chronic kidney disease. I am against suicide because it's against my personal spiritual beliefs and I never attempted to kill myself and never even planned it because I am not suicidal. I am very depressed and sad and angry. It's going to be day 4 of no scratching if I last for the rest of the day. I am supposed to last 3 months. The problem is all of this is highly unlikely will go away. The bump scars and regular bumps and dark skin and all of this crap will still be there. And now I want to scratch again. This means I am ugly. This means I will be depressed until everything everything everything goes away. Why? Because it's real what I am saying of how bad it is. That's why. So nobody here so be questioning me about if it's a real physical condition or not because it's really bad.
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IMO no one here is questioning whether you have a physical condition. Its obvious you do. However, the bolded above suggests there is in fact an emotional/mental situation going on here
in addition to the physical one. One that may be worth treating. What people
are suggesting is that you might achieve some degree of relief during the time you have left by treating the emotional and mental fallout from this miserable physical condition.
As an example, do you want to understand why you get that surge of pleasure from scratching? There's actual science behind it. Understanding why this happens can help you manage it, but if you are unwilling to educate yourself to improve the situation no one can force you to. Just know you sort of lose the privilege to complain about it from that point on.
https://www.healthline.com/health/wh...#why-itchiness
Maybe all you really want from the threads you keep creating under different handles over and over again is to rant against the really bad hand fate has dealt you. Understandable. Rants can be pressure releases, but this may not be the most appropriate place to do it. When some members wish to rant about something they state that right up front. It changes the way readers evaluate and react to the post. Other members are more inclined to be sympathetic and supportive instead of beating their heads against a wall trying to help the ranter solve an unsolvable problem.
If you choose to spend your remaining months angry, depressed, and disgusted with things about yourself you can't change, no one here can stop you, but at least be honest about it. If OTOH you really are hoping someone can help, it makes sense to listen to suggestions they offer, not throw them right back in their faces. That will probably just make you even angrier and alienate you from anyone who still has any good will left to extend to you. There's more than enough unhappiness in the world already without making the people around you miserable as well.