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Old 03-19-2023, 10:42 AM
 
Location: Gods country
8,105 posts, read 6,757,036 times
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I have a friend that talks way too much. We go out to lunch and dinner sometimes for 2 or 3 hours and her husband says no more than a dozen words.
I love her because she is a very kind person. However I’m exhausted after we meet.
I brought it up in conversation one time and she admitted that she does it and just can’t stop.
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Old 03-19-2023, 04:55 PM
 
Location: on the wind
23,319 posts, read 18,877,894 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Above Average Bear View Post
I have a friend that talks way too much. We go out to lunch and dinner sometimes for 2 or 3 hours and her husband says no more than a dozen words.
I love her because she is a very kind person. However I’m exhausted after we meet.
I brought it up in conversation one time and she admitted that she does it and just can’t stop.
If you know she has this tendency you can "help" her break up the monologue. Re-direct the conversation to someone else who's present. Asking them direct open ended questions, asking for an opinion, or stepping up with your own contribution.
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Old 04-26-2023, 09:48 AM
 
Location: Colorado Springs
15,220 posts, read 10,325,155 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tasmtairy View Post
I may need psychiatric help. I can't stand someone incessantly talking, without taking a break or allowing another person to to speak.

I have 2 friends I frequently get together with, maybe once a week or so. One friend has been MIA, helping her father who has been hospitalized 2 times in one week. He lives an hour or so from her house here. She came home Thursday night and worked Friday and Saturday. Her husband is staying with the Dad. That friend wants to go out today to a winery. I am foregoing this outing because she will talk non stop about the stuff going on. I understand, but when I can't get a word in edgewise, my anxiety goes through the roof and I get in Flight mode. We are 3 friends and we share stuff, but she will always be the one who talks most. I want to see her, after things calm down.
I get it - I have a few friends like this. They talk way too much and tell me the same stories over and over ad nauseam. Even if I gently break in with "oh, yes I remember you telling me about this" they don't stop. I've just gradually cut down on the amount of time I spend with them.
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Old 04-27-2023, 05:43 PM
 
15,980 posts, read 7,044,200 times
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Originally Posted by farm108 View Post
I don't know "why" but your observation is correct. Compared to Europe in general, yes, this is accurate. Regarding the volume, you are again correct.
I think it is because Americans are friendlier and more sociable than in other countries. It makes them more voluble. They share their personal stories freely even with strangers the way most other nationalities won’t.
I found people in Budapest, for instance , dour, like their history was hanging like a gloom over them. When we left Hungary and drove to Vienna, what a difference! It was bright and shiny and friendly.
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Old 04-28-2023, 08:35 PM
 
Location: US
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Yes, they are friendlier. But one can be friendly and not loud. Agatha Christie wrote about this - Americans being louder - in her books. I always found this funny reading her books and after I emigrated in the US, I realized that she was, in fact, right. I'm talking in general, of course. Because not all Americans are like that.
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Old 04-29-2023, 05:08 AM
 
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i find Latinx people generally talk loud and fast when they are with fellow Latinx. I don’t speak Spanish but it seems to require more words than English does to say the same thing. I have not noticed loud talking with other Americans of various ethnic backgrounds speaking in English or other language. The don’t wait in silence either if they are with friends or family. Loud and continuous loud talking is bothersome, yes.
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Old 04-29-2023, 02:19 PM
 
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i had a friend in my 30s, we were enrolled in the same certification program for a year, and it was a rigorous and demanding 13-month program. So we spent time a lot of time together studying and doing labs and practice together, and remained friends for a time after we got our licenses, comparing notes about employment, work place, clients, continuing education, etc.

what was universally commented on about the two of us spending time together, by those who were in the vicinity, was how much we laughed when we were together. we did. we laughed a lot A LOT and really took delight in each other's company. what was interesting was how the comments and feedback were conveyed to us, and we became aware that people noticed us. Sometimes we'd notice strangers pointing at us and smiling. we noticed people around us smiling in response to well our laughter and our tangible pleasure delight and joy when together. so generally people responded favorably.

the negative responses we noticed were along the lines of "Americans are so loud" "Americans are so noisy and have such bad manners". it made me realize that even happy laughter is considered a negative by some people, and yes i would say it is more pronounced based on a person's culture. and it's not like we were in the library or a museum or a somber setting where laughter would be inappropriate or in a movie or theater. we were in parks, or coffee shops or inexpensive informal cafes. most of the time though i'd notice people smiling, some wistful gazing and longing too, some nostalgia and memories evoked.
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