Are men from Minnesota too reserved?

[Glenfield]

Originally Posted by llp_4&1Strings

I couldn't disagree more. With that mentality, why should anyone ever want to be in a relationship if communication is useless? Relationships RELY on communication to be successful!



As long as men are actively listening and truly want to understand, they can and will. I'm not saying women will always communicate perfectly. Not at all! But communication is a two-sided endeavor. If there's confusion, guys should ask questions in order to get to he heart of the matter as well, and they should WANT to. There's nothing better in a relationship than the peace that comes from being understood and having matters resolved. How will guys know what women like/appreciate/want unless women communicate it to them? And how will girls know if their guys don't tell them? Hence, why I recommend her communicating with her guy. This matter of communication becomes even more important in this day and age where men are constantly on edge about what they do and say. Things that were once considered "common courtesy," like opening doors and treating women like ladies, they are now vilified for. I'd argue they need communication more than girls do!



If this gentleman loves her in return as much as she appears to, why wouldn't he want to understand or try to accommodate her in these areas? Women really aren't that complicated you guys.

Why does he have to change? Why can’t she accept him for who he is?

[Tyryztoll]

The OP doesn't seem to be participating much here. I think we've been duped.

[llp_4&1Strings]

Originally Posted by Glenfield

Why does he have to change? Why can’t she accept him for who he is?

I never said he has to become a completely different person. The issue here is that it sounds like she's uncertain about his feelings and that he doesn't know how to act or speak in order to assure her. Wouldn't he want to change a bit in order to let her know how much he cares about her? Wouldn't any of us? Adapting would be a major benefit to him in this situation -it helps him grow and earns him the heart of a girl who adores him by removing all worry and doubt from her mind. He's not losing anything, only gaining. Is that not worth a little change?



To clarify... The same can be said for both parties, adapting doesn't just apply to guys. And I feel it's important to point out that there's a vast difference between someone adapting to show their feelings more and another person just accepting everything about someone. I would argue that the latter is actually more dangerous. That's how people end up in toxic/abusive relationships.

[Glenfield]

Originally Posted by llp_4&1Strings

I never said he has to become a completely different person. The issue here is that it sounds like she's uncertain about his feelings and that he doesn't know how to act or speak in order to assure her. Wouldn't he want to change a bit in order to let her know how much he cares about her? Wouldn't any of us? Adapting would be a major benefit to him in this situation -it helps him grow and earns him the heart of a girl who adores him by removing all worry and doubt from her mind. He's not losing anything, only gaining. Is that not worth a little change?



To clarify... The same can be said for both parties, adapting doesn't just apply to guys. And I feel it's important to point out that there's a vast difference between someone adapting to show their feelings more and another person just accepting everything about someone. I would argue that the latter is actually more dangerous. That's how people end up in toxic/abusive relationships.

I was with you up until the last two sentences.

[jennifat]

Originally Posted by Tulip54

Jordan

He's from the Twin Cities metro and he's never seen a Hispanic person? That's...completely unbelievable, honestly.

[gweilo845]

Eh, I really wouldn't consider Jordan as part of the metro area, even though it technically is. It definitely has a small rural town feel. My wife has family there so we go there several times a year and I've never seen anything but white people, and for them going to the "big city" means Lakeville. Most of them find Minneapolis scary. So if the OP's boyfriend is a younger guy, it's totally believable that they've never encountered a Hispanic person.

[demtion35]

Originally Posted by gweilo845

Eh, I really wouldn't consider Jordan as part of the metro area, even though it technically is. It definitely has a small rural town feel. My wife has family there so we go there several times a year and I've never seen anything but white people, and for them going to the "big city" means Lakeville. Most of them find Minneapolis scary. So if the OP's boyfriend is a younger guy, it's totally believable that they've never encountered a Hispanic person.

So, you are saying that the boy friend does not travel anywhere because he is younger and from Jordan MN?

There is NO WAY he has never encountered an Hispanic person. NO WAY AT ALL. I do not think there is a single person unless very new born young that has not ever been to MPLS> least of all anyone from Jordan, so yes he has seen Hispanic people.

The boy friend sounds like from the stuff she has said about him, is that he likes to go to rodeos, is into pick up trucks and mud runs, likes to hunt and fish, get dirty, swear and drink, and talks a lot about tools and man stuff. I do not think he will move to NYC though.

[Glenfield]

Originally Posted by demtion35

So, you are saying that the boy friend does not travel anywhere because he is younger and from Jordan MN?

There is NO WAY he has never encountered an Hispanic person. NO WAY AT ALL. I do not think there is a single person unless very new born young that has not ever been to MPLS> least of all anyone from Jordan, so yes he has seen Hispanic people.

I think the inference that the boyfriend is claiming to have never seen a Latina before is incorrect. It is, at least, a very ungenerous view of what the OP said. The is the line from the OP.

He says I’m exotic because he never saw anyone like me where he grew up.

Now it is a fact that Latinos are relatively rare in Jordan as they are only 5% of the population. So my interpretation is that he’s saying she exotic— rare— not just because she is ethnically different but because she is SO beautiful— a rare beauty— exotic— and he has never seen anyone like her before. He is saying she is extremely special.

Originally Posted by demtion35

The boy friend sounds like from the stuff she has said about him, is that he likes to go to rodeos, is into pick up trucks and mud runs, likes to hunt and fish, get dirty, swear and drink, and talks a lot about tools and man stuff. I do not think he will move to NYC though.

This is your opinion and your stereotype but there is absolutely nothing in what the OP has written to support any of this. Just like there is no discussion of moving to NYC until you imagined it.

[demtion35]

Originally Posted by llp_4&1Strings

Seems to me you should be talking to your guy about all this, especially if you like him so much. Communication is key in a relationship. Like Tyryztoll says, more than likely he's unaware of how he's acting. So talk to him.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yj5LXa-C5Kw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyqdVMurdb4