Lifelong Love Affair With Music Ends At Age 35: Why Do (some) People Grow Out of Music? (lyrics, soundtrack)

[brubaker]

I've noticed this with many friends of mine.
They get older, other concerns crowd their lives, music goes out the window.
It just isn't the same emotional force in their lives either.
That spark of rapture that a great song brought on is gone.
(heh, ya like that little rhyme I just did right there?)

Anyways, I saw this Onion Arcticle and kind of related to it in a real personal way...which is a little frightening.


Lifelong Love Affair With Music Ends At Age 35 | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

CLEVELAND, OH—Sam Powers' lifelong passion for music ended this past
weekend, when the 35-year-old camera-store assistant manager realized that
he no longer derives pleasure from listening to and acquiring new music.

"It's always sad when something you thought would last forever ends, but I
simply don't have the energy to put into it anymore," Powers said Monday. "I'll
always love music, but it's not going to be at the center of my life anymore.
My priorities have changed, I guess."

Powers said he realized the love affair, which began in 1979 when his brother
introduced him to the first Van Halen album, was over Saturday. While
preparing spaghetti at his home, Powers chose silence over a TV On The
Radio album his friend had burned him.

"Last week, my buddy went to see this band, but I just didn't feel like going
out that night," Powers said. "I started to listen to their album, and even
though it really seemed like my type of music—well, I didn't know any of the
songs. I was just about to put Beck on when I realized that I'd rather be
alone with my thoughts.'"

[BlueWillowPlate]

Originally Posted by brubaker

I've noticed this with many friends of mine.
They get older, other concerns crowd their lives, music goes out the window.
It just isn't the same emotional force in their lives either.
That spark of rapture that a great song brought on is gone.

While
preparing spaghetti at his home, Powers chose silence over a TV On The
Radio album his friend had burned him.
I love The Onion. They always distill their theme so expertly.

Yes. It happens.

Music, for some people, loses its relevancy. Or perhaps, to the listener, the "new" music (anything that is recorded in the years after the listener grows up and gets a real job) sounds "inauthentic" or just plain bad. They are stuck in time and the new music doesn't have the right visceral punch to it.

For other people, music never really was much more than a nice soundtrack to their lives. They can take or leave it--and end up leaving it.

For others, they truly enjoy that communal thing they had going on at age 18, bonding with others their age over the latest buzz-band. As they grow up, they observe the system, see the advertisement for a Greatest Hits Remastered or a TV commercial using their favorite song from high school. They may be disillusioned and/or nostalgic for a former time which they believe is forever lost.
And some music appreciation aspects *do* change--no getting around that. Most of us do not raise a family while following a band on tour.

I still get excited about music at age 55, but I have to admit that sometimes I am a little bit embarrassed about it. I keep thinking that I should be watching soap operas or knitting or something.

[SandyCo]

I still shriek when my favorite songs come on the radio, so that tells you how mature I am at 46! However, I do admit that I usually only listen to radio in the car; at home I have iTunes. When I go for walks I have my iPod. Even when I'm walking, though, you'll probably see me mouthing the lyrics and doing my version of "walk dancing". And also, while a lot of today's music is not amazing or nuanced at all, it can still be fun to dance to.

[hutch5]

Originally Posted by brubaker

I've noticed this with many friends of mine.
They get older, other concerns crowd their lives, music goes out the window.
It just isn't the same emotional force in their lives either.
That spark of rapture that a great song brought on is gone.
(heh, ya like that little rhyme I just did right there?)

Anyways, I saw this Onion Arcticle and kind of related to it in a real personal way...which is a little frightening.


Lifelong Love Affair With Music Ends At Age 35 | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

Ii is sad but it can happen. I remember always listening to music, all sorts from pop to classic, as a teenager and then as a young adult but then at the time I had the privilege to choose.

Now between my teenage daughter who has her music on all day long, my middle child who has a very high pitch and my toddler who screams a lot I really value those RARE moments of silence.

I still enjoy listening to music, both my favourite old songs, some of my daughter's music and even some nursery rhymes but if I have just a little moment to myself I choose silence above everything.

I am enjoying this forum because I listen to some of its music as I work on the computer and I am discovering a lot of new songs and styles but often after 2 songs I disconnect and let the silence sorround me.

Maybe once I am over this phase and there will be less noise in my life I will listen to more music again

[BlueWillowPlate]

Of course there is nothing wrong with silence!
Silence, to me, is far more desirable than listening to a television.

People downshift--or become revved up--with different stimuli.

There was a period of my life when it was all I could do just to listen to music that was familiar to me, let alone seek out new tunes. New babies will do that to ya.

[JPD]

One reason why people grow out of music is because discovering new music takes work. Work takes time. And if your goal is to find something you like, you can't just veg out like you can when you turn on the tv or listen to the radio. You have to be engaged. If you have kids and/or a job, you probably have very little time in which to discover music you like, and the free time you do have might be better spent vegged out on the couch (or at the gym or the pool).

When you're in school or college, your friends are people you have a lot in common with, and you help each other find music you like (which is often music handed down from an older sibling or someone's "cool" parent...this almost never works in reverse, thankfully, or Hannah Montana would be just as popular with soccer moms as Led Zeppelin is with high school boys).

Once you have kids or start a career, the people you spend the most time with might not have ANYTHING in common with you except you work for the same company, or your kids go to the same school. They might not like music at all, or the music they listen to might not appeal to you. So, you find that you're on your own.

[passionatearts]

A couple years ago, a friend gave me a rock carved with the words: "Without music, life would be an error." I keep that rock prominently displayed in my music room and live by those words. As a musician, the thought of falling out of love with music is a horrifying one.

Like others have said in this thread, I guess for some people, music is little more than a disposable soundtrack for their lives, but for me, music is everything.

[WhistlerMCMLV]

To grow out of music is to grow out of life itself. I couldn't possibly imagine a life without music. Not as a listener, and not as a player.

I still play blues guitar---have since I was a teenager, if you don't count a couple of long layoffs over mostly financial and a few psychological issues---and, especially coming not long after a seven-year layoff, I still get about two hours' practise every day with my guitar. Maybe in three or four months I'll have the guts to get out and hit the Vegas blues clubs (there are a few) looking for a jam.

I now play a lovely cherry-red Epiphone Dot---it's the semi-hollow archtop you play when you can't afford the Gibson ES-335 and has a beautiful tone to it with the lightest-possible gauge strings played through a Fender Frontman (I'll swear by Gibson-made guitars and Fender amplifiers to the day I die)---and look forward to landing a Les Paul Studio model soon. (Preferably the subdued unfinished brown or cherry mahogany model, but my SO insists I go for one of the "prettier" ones . . . not that I'd mind, but the unfinished Studio is far less expensive than one of the cherry or dark sunburst models.)

And I've begun writing blues songs again, though I'm sure my music has a few other influences in it since I love blues (I still get at least one daily dose of B.B. King, Mike Bloomfield, Robert Johnson, Muddy Waters, Albert King, Duane Allman, Eric Clapton, Howlin' Wolf, Lonesome Sundown, Lightnin' Slim, or Wes Montgomery, the one jazz guitarist above all who never forgot the blues), jazz, classic soul, experimental music, classical music, reggae, and vintage rock.

To me, life without music is life without soul. There's never a good reason to leave music out of your day.

[Ohiogirl81]

I remember in my early 20s having a conversation like this with a friend who was about 10 years older (and wiser, LOL), with two kids. I said I could never imagine not wanting to buy albums and keep up with new music. She just shrugged and said "Priorities change."

Sure enough, they do. About 10 years ago, the attention I paid to popular music dwindled appreciably. It all sounded the same. Whether the music changed, or I did, is up for debate. And then my favorite radio station went off the air, and I found other things to do. I still listen to the radio, still listen to all types of music, but just not with the same absorption as when I was in my teens, 20s and 30s.

[bs13690]

I think a lot has to do with your peer group also. When you were younger you would keep up on music so you could talk about it at school, at parties, etc.

You also have much more leisure time when you are young. I couldn't even guess how many hours we used to spend driving around aimlessly on backroads with the radio blaring. A lot, for sure.