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My job as a parent doesn’t place much value on whether my kids share or don’t share things with me. My job is to prepare them to be more successful and accomplished than their parents. I’m not my kids friend. I’m their parent.
You do have a point up to a certain extent. Just think it could create kids that grow up not wanting much to do with their parents. Go to an elderly person home and meet some of them that do have adult offsprings that never visit or even call them. It’s as if they don’t have adult offsprings. While these are sad situations, usually their is more to the story we don’t know about (the parent could had been abusive to the offsprings when they were kids or a plethora of other scenarios.)
The tradition at least in my extended family is that when someone close dies, you show your respect for them by spending the year following their death in a sort of mourning (particularly listening to music very low for that year and avoid weather very vivid and/or colorful clothing.) Well, there was a particular someone that didn’t do that when a particular person died. It was his father and the day of his death he continued with his life as if nothing had ever happened, didn’t even bother to go to his own father’s funeral. Something about his father being abusive to him when younger had something to do with that. When his mother died, he didn’t reacted as if nothing happened.
A lot has changed in 15 years in the DOE. You and I are of similar age. I also went to a large HS in Brooklyn. Did the honors and AP as well.
I, for a fact, know that the HS I attended is much, much worse today than it was when I attended.
I can't say the same about mine. Taking a look at the 2021 NYC high school guide and more recent DOE website information on my school, I see that my school is offering even more real-world application options and "tracks" than when I was there, to include robotics/programming, medical careers and health sciences, software development, and pre-engineering. This is in addition to offering at least one more AP course that I know was not offered when I was there. Note, I did not go to a specialized high school or anything close to it. I have not done similar research for other high schools in NYC, but I find it hard to believe that this is something unique to my school.
At the end of the day, I still maintain that if you are a high achieving student, it really doesn't matter what public high school you go to as they all just about offer courses designed to further develop and hone your skills. This is exactly why, as an example, while I decry some of the proposed changes to the specialized high school admissions process as racist, ultimately it's not something that I spend too much time thinking about as these schools are not the be all and end all for public education in NYC.
My job as a parent doesn’t place much value on whether my kids share or don’t share things with me. My job is to prepare them to be more successful and accomplished than their parents. I’m not my kids friend. I’m their parent.
Folks can raise their children how they want to, but if you're raising kids who don't feel comfortable coming to you about various issues, I can see how that directly could conflict with your self-identified primary goals. I think that you can accomplish both setting your kids up for success (or at least letting them know what the options are . . . at the end of the day, you can only do so much to make someone succeed and a lot will come down to what someone chooses to do) and creating an environment where they feel comfortable coming to you. Doesn't need to be a friendship or buddy relationship to create such an atmosphere either.
I can't say the same about mine. Taking a look at the 2021 NYC high school guide and more recent DOE website information on my school, I see that my school is offering even more real-world application options and "tracks" than when I was there, to include robotics/programming, medical careers and health sciences, software development, and pre-engineering. This is in addition to offering at least one more AP course that I know was not offered when I was there. Note, I did not go to a specialized high school or anything close to it. I have not done similar research for other high schools in NYC, but I find it hard to believe that this is something unique to my school.
At the end of the day, I still maintain that if you are a high achieving student, it really doesn't matter what public high school you go to as they all just about offer courses designed to further develop and hone your skills. This is exactly why, as an example, while I decry some of the proposed changes to the specialized high school admissions process as racist, ultimately it's not something that I spend too much time thinking about as these schools are not the be all and end all for public education in NYC.
Just my two cents, anyway.
A high achieving student at Lincoln HS would be way different than a high achieving student at Brooklyn Tech. Saying there’s no difference in what HS one attends in NYC is wild.
This is why all the rich are sending their kids to learn Chinese. China will win and beat the US in the future because they are efficient and their academic standards and technical skills far better than avg American students. The reason US wants to ban TikTok and steal them away from China.
Folks can raise their children how they want to, but if you're raising kids who don't feel comfortable coming to you about various issues, I can see how that directly could conflict with your self-identified primary goals. I think that you can accomplish both setting your kids up for success (or at least letting them know what the options are . . . at the end of the day, you can only do so much to make someone succeed and a lot will come down to what someone chooses to do) and creating an environment where they feel comfortable coming to you. Doesn't need to be a friendship or buddy relationship to create such an atmosphere either.
What *various* issues did you need to talk to your parents about growing up?
This is why all the rich are sending their kids to learn Chinese. China will win and beat the US in the future because they are efficient and their academic standards and technical skills far better than avg American students. The reason US wants to ban TikTok and steal them away from China.
The NYC DOE school system produces far, far fewer top 50 college enrollees than its funding and size would lead one to believe.
This is why all the rich are sending their kids to learn Chinese. China will win and beat the US in the future because they are efficient and their academic standards and technical skills far better than avg American students. The reason US wants to ban TikTok and steal them away from China.
Makes globalism easier, doesnt it
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"The man who sleeps on the floor, can never fall out of bed." -Martin Lawrence
What *various* issues did you need to talk to your parents about growing up?
While there are a host of issues I wish I was comfortable talking to my parents about, I don't write about me as I turned out fine despite any challenges I faced. I'm more so concerned about those who have less resilience and who could benefit from more freely discussing various issues, whether about sex, sexual orientation, drugs/alcohol, etc. Far too often, many parents simply preach "don't do 'x' or 'y' or 'x' or 'y' are sinful, but we all know that this often falls on deaf ears and that many kids are engaging in certain things regardless, which opens up the possibility for far more reckless decisions I argue. And sometimes unapproachability on certain topics turns into unapproachability on other topics, whether parents intend for this to be the case or not (perception is often reality for many).
Particularly on the sex/sexual orientation front, I know more than a few people who grew up in religious households who hid their sexual orientation as their parents finding out about it would have led to dire consequences (from being kicked out to physically harmed . . . hell, my sister was beaten, cursed, and shunned by our parents after they found out that she was bisexual, which resulted in a host of other cascading issues). As a result, they often got involved with hidden, unhealthy relationships as they kept their "forbidden" love interests secret.
I know others who were pushed to the brink because they were pressured to pursue certain studies/occupations or else risk being cut off financially or otherwise ostracized by their parents.
When you're faced with situations like these, it really isn't difficult to see how that could impact other relationship points with your parents in my view.
To be clear, I'm not saying that this is a one or the other approach. No, I fully believe that there can be healthy pressure to pursue certain things while also being approachable.
A high achieving student at Lincoln HS would be way different than a high achieving student at Brooklyn Tech. Saying there’s no difference in what HS one attends in NYC is wild.
To hold such, you surely must believe that the curriculum opportunities for high achieving students at Lincoln are significantly different than they are at Brooklyn Tech. I submit that they aren't, certainly not in any meaningful way.
High achieving students at schools like Lincoln are going to be in their own bubble with other high achieving students. They are not taking the same classes as the general riff raff. My school had various non-high achievers (putting things lightly). But those of us on the honors and AP track might as well have been in a different school from the lower achieving students as we did not take classes (well outside of physical education, music, and health classes) with these students.
The high achieving students at my school were just fine at the end of the day, just like the students at Brooklyn Tech were fine at the end of the day, which is the basis of my point that it doesn't really matter which NYC public school you go to if you're a high achieving student. The main difference is that Brooklyn Tech has a much, much higher percentage of high achieving students than Lincoln does based on the nature of it being Brooklyn Tech and having a screening process via the SHSAT, and so will be sending a greater percentage of students to certain post-secondary education opportunities and environments.
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