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I think it all depends where you are going to work. For us, relocating is based on where you find a job. This is the reason we haven't moved despite trying for a long time. If you don't have a job offer, you really cannot expect to be happy.
About ten years ago we moved to Central PA without jobs. My husband and I were younger and did not have our son, so we took a risk. Both of us had 4 temporary jobs that year!
With a family, you are less willing to risk going somewhere without a job (and health insurance).
I would expect CT to be almost as expensive as NJ. Upstate and PA are both very affordable. I don't know about the job market in PA; but it's scattered in upstate. Pretty much all of the good jobs are in the larger metro areas Syracuse and Albany have the best current job markets in the region. That distinction traditionaly goes to Rochester, but recent troubles in kodak have caused some problems with the area's job market right now (but that is showing signs of turnign around, as the new mayor and county commisoner have recently landed big wins in getting companies to move to the area)Buffalo has been struggling the most for decades. The only small city in Upstate NY that has a really healthy economy is Ithaca; with Cornell University and Ithaca College; has a much more eduacation based economy and high tech workforce.
I was born and raised in the Albany area, and have also spent significant time in Elmira, Syracuse, NYC. I really enjoyed a lot of the conveniences of living in Syracuse. Albany was cool, too! Things are close, and not ultra-expensive. If it wasn't for my job, I would move out of NYC and back to Syracuse.
Even tho I will most likely leave upstate NY for job-related reasons -- money ain't everything. It depends on what you want.
$30k/year can be a *very* decent income for a single person upstate. Or in a family , if both people work, same thing. You won't be rich .. but you can have a very decent life on it. I spend a lot of time reading stats for different cities and talking to my friends who have moved away and all this...
Its all kind of the same. $50k here would be $100k elsewhere. Thats just purely on the economic aspect of it.. There is the cultural or other types of attractions of different areas. but when you strip everything away , the quality of life remains the same. There are people in CA struggling on $50k a year.. there are people in upstate NY struggling on $15k a year.. whats the difference?
If you are happy shopping and at franchise sort of establishments and don't like city congestion and don't put too much focus on career and making tons of money -- then why bother paying a premium for what you don't need or want? Me personally.. I want that life - at least for a little while. Im looking at moving to either out West - San Francisco Bay Area, Portland, Seattle - or if I stay here in east, somewhere on the eastern seaboard, Boston or NYC. Even if i dont end up making a lot of money.. even if i don't end up moving to a major city -- Im probbaly going to move out from the suburbs, right into downtown Buffalo.
A good example is where Im from Buffalo, NY and also where Im heading for college soon , Utica, NY. Its all economically depressed. But at the same time .. that means $10/hour is an alright job. More than that is a good job. You can buy a house (like here in Buffalo) for $40k-$60k. It depends on what or where your focus is I guess. I have family out in oklahoma who are farmers and are really happy there ... and the ones that work for companies they have lousy jobs (e.g. $7-8/hr + overtime at an Arby's) by even my upstate NY standards But it gives them enough money to have the lifestyle they want, and thats really all that matters. (Same goes for family I have out in the bay area, who I assume make much more and still have the same quality of life in Walnut Creek, CA.. more pay, bigger house prices, just bigger numbers is all)
You have to stop just thinking of things in terms of MONEY and traditional "amenities" and think about quality of life.
If you live in Upstate NY you will probably not have a huge financial advantage over where you are living now. The housing costs and general costs of living are lower, but property taxes are high. You will ***** and moan and wonder why nobody in Albany is doing anything about it.
If you live in Upstate NY you will have a short commute. You will have time to breathe. Your kids will probably be able to walk to school and the park and you have a decent chance of being able to walk to the drug store or to church. You will also have lots to do and see on a Sunday drive without having to battle traffic or crowds. You will go to the lakes, the waterfalls and the mountains. You will pick apples and strawberries. You will ride your bike on the Erie Canal.
If you live in Upstate NY you won't have Starbucks on every corner and you won't have wi-fi in every coffee bar and you won't get a lot of huge concert acts to go see without a 2 hour drive. You will not have a Whole Foods but you will have a Wegmans. You will likely have only one or two big shopping malls to pick from depending on where you live. You will see nice bars and cute shops in parts of your city and you will see some very sad decay in other parts of your city.
You will buy lots of warm coats and you will have snow tires. You will have white Christmases and you will be thoroughly sick of winter by the time April rolls around. You will learn to drive on snow and ice. Your kids will have snow days off from school. You will never have to worry about hurricanes or tornadoes. Your air conditioning bill will probably be a lot lower than you might be paying now.
That's the quality of life, good and bad.
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