Family/House Rules implementation drawback ?

[Riley.]

Originally Posted by E-Twist

Well, can't rules for home just be treating each other kindly and with respect? The needs of individuals, their strength and weakness, all are going to be different.

Naaaah...gotta spell out the expectations. I think it's a good idea. And it deals in generalities such as: pick up after yourself, bring your own laundry to the laundry room, everyone takes turns doing dishes or loading the DW, everyone cleans their own room.....stuff like that. Not sure what 'needs, strength and weaknesses' have to do with basic household responsibilities, but age would, of course.

[GNCamry99]

Thanks for weighing in. I find some good suggestions.


Here is the situation.


We as family believed in certain values eg. Honesty, transparency , kindness, integrity, responsibility , mutual respect , fairness etc.


I did follow the above, but I recently learned some of the above are not followed by my family members.



When I approach head on advising them that their behavior not healthy for our family, I did not get good answer , why they did that.


What are the approaches to bring back my family to Harmony to avoid dysfunctional one?


I did try with some books, but they are not helping.


Are there any resources to get some guidance?



Thanks for sharing.

[thinkingandwondering]

I think it's a great idea, and have seen lots of ideas online. Check out Pinterest - I would think that would be a good source.

[Katnan]

Originally Posted by GNCamry99

Thanks for weighing in. I find some good suggestions.


Here is the situation.


We as family believed in certain values eg. Honesty, transparency , kindness, integrity, responsibility , mutual respect , fairness etc.


I did follow the above, but I recently learned some of the above are not followed by my family members.



When I approach head on advising them that their behavior not healthy for our family, I did not get good answer , why they did that.


What are the approaches to bring back my family to Harmony to avoid dysfunctional one?


I did try with some books, but they are not helping.


Are there any resources to get some guidance?



Thanks for sharing.

This is very cryptic. It’s not going to be resolved by a list.

Sounds like family counselling might be in order.

[kj1065]

Originally Posted by GNCamry99

Family/House Rules implementation drawback ?
======================================

Thanks for replying to my threads. Here is the background. This forum gave many insights.

We know many business have set of rules from CEO to all employees to follow for healthy business atmosphere.

I am thinking of building one for my family as Family Rules doc/guidelines to adopt/enforce family values etc.

It can work like country's constitution .

What you folks think about this ?

Are there any web resources to build one?


What are the pros and cons having this?


Thanks for guidance.

I have no problem whatsoever with family mission statements or house rules, but I think they work best when all members of the household participate in the drafting of such a document.

[ukiyo-e]

I can see rules being set for things like curfews for teens, etc. And some families have chore charts that kids are expected to follow that clearly outline expectations for who does what, when. But the rest can be conveyed without being so rigid that you draw up with is basically an authoritarian decree that is likely to cause blind obedience at best (and by best, I don't mean good) or resentment at worst. Maybe try just talking to your kids about your expectations for their behavior, and addressing issues if and when they arise, instead of creating a stifling, controlling atmosphere.