Dealing with Discipline Does Anyone Still Believe In Spanking (method, ideas, punishment)
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Hello with school going back and all is anyone else on occasion overwhelmed by varying behavior issues from the children? My son is 8 and daughter 10. Single mom so sometimes it can be stressful would love to hear from other parents who relate to the feelings to share experiences and ideas and general friendship, as some
days I feel kind of alone in the struggle.
I try to raise them with a mix of old fashioned and modern, but I certainly use the strict but fair methods of the past in many was for our home, it works for us, no judgment on others who may or may not believe in spanking.
Sometimes a quick cuff on the butt is exactly what is needed, but actual spanking, where the child gets a beating, I don't think it is productive.
I don't find training kids to be much different from training animals. Lots of positive reinforcement, very clear rules that are always enforced, and any actual punishment should be swift, immediate, and over quickly, and then something almost immediately after that the child can do well and win approval for.
Communicate, communicate, communicate. Kids do best when they know exactly what is expected. Parents have an easier time if a lot of attention is paid to what the kids are doing so corrections can be immediate before a bad habit is formed. The parent's primary focus should be in raising a child who will be a successful adult and that means a lot of investment of time and attention, without making the child "the center of attention" which only produces a spoiled and self-centered child.
Not too much off topic. My son once told a neighbor that "when my mom says no, it means no". Kids are happier when they know exactly where the boundaries lie, and when the boundaries do not change every time the wind shifts.
These children are well beyond the age where a mild spank might be constructive.
More than 'mild' is what expands into the abusive so many so rightly reject.
MILD (my example): Cup your hand and lightly strike your thigh.
Hear the echo? At 3 or 4 it will sound terrifying but it has zero pain. Just shock.
The fact that Daddy has actually followed through with the warning is what gets remembered.
At age 8 and 10 a look should be enough to get the same job done.
I grew up back in the days of spanking. Ten years old is about the cut off age for spanking, I think. When we were 5, 6, 7 years old, a spanking really did the trick and we would never break the rule again. Probably age 10 was the last time I was spanked and I really deserved it because I had stayed out late running around with a bunch of kids and my parents were so worried they were about ready to call the police. I should have known better. I was old enough to understand what they told me.
Age 7 my mother told me to sit on the front steps and not go anywhere even if a "big kid" tried to get me to go with her. Well, the big kid came by and I refused to go the first time. Second time, I went with her, went out onto the nearby pond, fell through the ice and nearly drowned. So at age 7 I wasn't old enough to really, truly understand. They didn't spank me; I guess my screaming when I nearly drowned was more than enough punishment, but it goes to show that you can talk all you want to a younger kid and there's still a pretty good chance they won't really understand.
At age 10 when I stayed out late, I KNEW better. I understood and I did it anyway. I am glad they didn't let me get away with that. BTW, I was not beaten. My father put me over his knee and spanked me about three times after I had been subjected to their frantic explanation of how worried they had been. I'm glad I was brought up fairly strictly the same as most kids were in those days. I knew the boundaries, I knew they cared about me, and I knew that bad behavior has consequences. I never got into trouble in school or any trouble ever in my life.
Yes, but in VERY rare circumstances, and only when they were little. No chanclas or sandles, no belts, no soap in the mouth.
We spanked maybe a couple dozen times between the two kids, and I think it’s closer to a dozen than two dozen. They are 12 and 10 and well beyond spanking. Discipline can be meted out with other means now, and they’re good enough kids that they don’t do anything to merit a spanking now anyway.
Agreed. I never hit my son, I think it sends the wrong message. In adult life, do you deal with others' misbehavior with physical force? Probably not, it usually doesn't work out well. Growing up, my parents were occasional hitters. All that did was make minor situations worse. Children are just small, inexperienced adults and I treat them as such.
Are kids today still "grounded"? Back in the day it was used as a threat, to be stuck in your room alone doing nothing. I don't think a lot of kids nowadays would even deem this a punishment, they're already doing it.
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