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My 16 year old is dating, first teen romance relationship for both but have known each other a bit in school. Young man professing love and already vocalizing, pondering or worrying about their "future" re college, staying together, etc. Would you view this wearing heart on the sleeve, excited young romance or too much too soon and level of attachment concerning? Comes from a good family, has friends, get along well with others, being a good caring part of their relationship. Just seeming super intense re the "future" talk so early on. Basically saying things that "might" cross one's mind but usually they would keep such thoughts to themselves for fear of scaring someone away too early on. I'm struggling with if this is within the range of normal/appropriate or concerning?
Talking (hours and hours) for. months, dating for a few weeks........
Keep an eye on it. Teen Domestic Violence can start out this way.... I do think it's new and fascinating for both of them....they're excited. Just keep a look out.
Keep an eye on it. Teen Domestic Violence can start out this way.... I do think it's new and fascinating for both of them....they're excited. Just keep a look out.
This was a bit my concern....just so much being said, so soon, seems too intense too fast. I question if the young man is possibly a bit neuro divergent (just an observation, no issue if so!), in that possibly saying something that others might hold inside until time goes by. Or thoughts of "depression", etc, enter my mind but since I am not in the relationship, I am not really sure what to make of it. We as parents haven't had too much interaction with the young man at this point. And I am sure the relationship has not progressed physically on an inappropriate level (nor do I think that's his intention when he speaks in that manner). I am thankful my daughter is very open with me and I can often hear their conversations (since they speak on speakerphone). So I'm getting some insight in that manner.
Last edited by WiseWords; 01-16-2024 at 10:22 AM..
How about if your daughter invited him for dinner? Maybe you'd get some peace of mind if you got to know him better?
That will definitely come soon I'm sure. He has been over, but he's either shy, anxious or just a regular 16 year old boy (which I have. no experience with as a parent), so the conversation was just small talk at that point.
But it's the boy the OP is concerned about, so you may have relevant experience. Were any of your boys infatuated early on and talking about future plans as a couple, worried about a break-up if they don't go to college together, etc.? Or was the initial stage of dating more low-key in your sons' cases?
OP, how does your daughter feel about these early pronouncements? Is she put off by it, feel smothered by it, or on the contrary--feel it's "romantic"?
I would just talk to my daughter about her future, and that she should enjoy having a boyfriend, but realize that it won’t last forever. Oh, and there’s the birth control thing too.
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