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I don’t want to quit as all progress would be lost, but I’m starting to lose hope. I wanted her to be able to play piano for fun as a hobby. Maybe play with her friends or at a party or a band as she grows up. But we are competing with an iPad that we limit every day, but still in today’s digital age I don’t see piano winning.
It's good to have aspirations for your children, but your daughter might not have the slightest interest in playing the piano for her friends or at a party. The time she's spent playing the piano hasn't been wasted; it exposed her to a musical instrument and it gave her at least the foundations for a talent that she might, at some point in the future, want to cultivate. But even if she steps away and never touches a piano again, the experience won't have been wasted.
If it helps, my daughter started piano at age 6, but by age 13 she had enough. I was disappointed, but my goal for her had been accomplished, I wanted her to take piano not only for introduction to music, but for brain development. She's a adult now, a professional, & now interested in music again. She learned guitar & has a keyboard. She never really forgot how to play piano.
OTH, I was forced to play clarinet & not allowed to stop. When I had control of my own life I never played clarinet again, & hate the sound of one, although I love music.
You're a good parent for enriching her life this way, but probably need to pick your battles since she's approaching her teen years.
Pick your battles. I’d trade piano lessons for something that she either needs to do or is actually talented at. Being able to read music and understand what goes into playing and making it is enough.
Both DS and DD are good piano players. They started when they were around 5 and consistently must practice for 30 minutes a day.
DD is musically talented. She likely won’t be playing Carnegie hall, but she loves to play and sing spontaneously just for fun and is quite good. She will likely surpass DW--who can play by ear. She wants to learn new instruments and continue playing piano.
DS is not as good as his sister. However, he is confident and fun-loving. He has reached the point where he will make up variations and/or left-hand accompaniment to easy melodies for fun. He enjoys messing around with music, if not actually practicing his assigned pieces.
We will let DS quit in a couple years once he is in middle-school if he wants to focus on other pursuits. He loves everything programming, robotic, and generally electronic, and his time will be better spent on those things. DD probably wouldn’t stop even if we told her to.
I've never understood what it is with parents frog-marching their kids to music lessons long after the joy is gone.
Warren Buffett's younger son quit the piano (twice, I think) and went on to become a music composer. My mother, on the other hand, took me to piano lessons for four years after I'd reached the limit of my ability and lost interest. It was a waste of time and money. Parents who wish they'd kept playing their instrument should resume their own lessons instead of fighting their kids.
Both my grandsons (10 and 7) play piano. They enjoy it, but practicing the piano...like doing their chores, spending time reading a book, playing outside for half an hour, etc...is a daily requirement their parents make them do to EARN video games and screen time. My oldest DD (their mother) is a "Tiger Mom". She strictly limits their device use. She plays clarinet. Their dad (son in law) plays piano and four other instruments.
They like the music their teacher gives them to learn, arrangements from the "Harry Potter" movies, Minecraft (the "Pig Walk"), Kirby, etc. I've also heard that kids who study piano are better at math. Oldest grandson is 10 and is taking Algebra I. His playing, though, seems more "mechanical" than his brother's...younger grandson seems more graceful with it, puts in more "feeling", and has been outpacing his brother even though he hasn't taken lessons as long. He spends more time playing daily than just for practice, he plays a lot for fun because he really loves it. I showed him Liberace videos, and he was amazed. Someday, he wants a swimming pool and bathtub shaped like a piano. He takes hip hop dance lessons as well, so he may be a born entertainer. Look out, Vegas.
Last edited by Mrs. Skeffington; 02-21-2024 at 03:21 AM..
Well my parents dragged me to guitar when I was little and I did finish the 5 year school playing classical guitar in front of the crowd, once that was done with I didn’t pick up the guitar for decades. Now I wish I could play but it’s too late. It’s just too difficult.
I’m afraid that if we cancel piano it will be lost forever. Don’t want ti force it either but then with kids, if you don’t push them they won’t do anything productive.
Wow!
What a negative view of children's natural curiosity.
You're disappointed that you can't play guitar, so you want to force your daughter, who has many other interests and activities, to learn to play the piano.
If you want to play the guitar, take lessons. It's not too late if you really want to renew your playing. How many lessons have you taken recently? As many as you are forcing your daughter to take?
Is your daughter telling you she wants to stop lessons, or is it just that you feel you're wasting your money because she isn't practicing enough?
I think I'd talk it over with her and find out what she thinks about lessons, if she's interested in continuing or not. Maybe it was all your projection and she was never interested in it. Maybe you can encourage her to sing in school choir. That is a musical education in itself. She may not have access to a piano when she leaves the home, but at least she'll still have her voice, and singing is a great social activity. Piano is very isolating. It sounds like it may be too late to start a band or orchestra instrument. The social aspect of those groups can be very motivating.
I practically worshipped my piano teacher growing up. When he first came to the home, I was about 7, and he sat down and played Chopin's Revolutionary Etude to demonstrate his skill. To me it felt like the whole house shook and the windows rattled. I was hooked! I had enormous admiration for him and his talent. He was the only adult outside my family who gave me individual attention, and I soaked it up. I needed no encouragement to practice. Music became a big part of my adult life. I still think back fondly to those days.
Not exactly. There's no "quitting piano" in [Peter Buffett's] life story of always playing and deciding music to be a permanent career at age 19 thanks to his premature inheritance.
Did you Google that? I read Peter Buffett's biography. Here's a quote from page 85 that book:
Quote:
Which brings me back to the first time I quit piano lessons. I was eight years old, and I won't pretend that I was thinking like a grown-up. Insofar as I could articulate my reason for wanting to quit, it was simply that lessons were no longer fun. -Peter Buffett
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sea Master
And you can't compare 2024 teenage social media sickness with anything in the past.
Right, it's not like kids in the past watched a lot of TV or smoked weed or found other ways to fritter the day away.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sea Master
Don't know where you're seeing this rash of "frog-marching". You can't FORCE someone to play a musical instrument properly.
If your point is that you can lead a horse to water but can't make it drink, I agree.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sea Master
Do you play?
It's been decades. I quit in my teens, gave it another go in my 20s, and remembered why I quit: I don't have the manual dexterity to play really well, and no amount of practice or lessons could change that.
Forcing a child to play an instrument will be a waste of time. My parents made me take organ lessons for 7 or 8 years, until I was a teen, and rebelled, would not look at the teacher or practice. Yes, my dad and mom thought it would be so great to be able to play the organ. I did not agree. Once I left home, I never played again.
After putting up with my parents, and trying to fulfill their dreams, I would discourage parents from forcing their kids to do unnecessary things, and chores are not unnecessary, so I would add helping out around the house with the extra time, as that will end up being more valuable than forcing the child to play an instrument.
I would think a parent should be able to monitor and control social networking and games, but then again, I am old school and the kids ended up benefiting from that big time in their future.
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