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Hi Nancy,
I have moved alot when I was younger. My dad worked at IBM. he only move I had a promblem with was in the middle of 9th grade. We moved from VA to FL. It was NOT GOOD. Iam also thinking of moving. I sat down with my children (11 & 20 year olds sons). I explained he reason I also showed hem info on the state and as a family spent 7 days in he sae where I want to move. I must say visiting the city was the best. My young son saw the schools and met some kids. He acually wants to move there. Just keep your kids informed listen to them and get hem involved wih the decission. I am hoping o go back wih my family in April to he city I want to move to. I should say that WE want to move to. GOOD LUCK!
Thank you Taboo! I agree, it is now or never...as it relates to kids.
Yorkie Mom, everything I have researched says just try not to do it once they reach 9th grade or high school and that is certainly understandable. Yorkie Mom, where are you moving from and to where? How does your daughter feel about the move? Do you have other kids? Why are your moving? Just wanted to get your perspective on things. Thanks!
We live in Minnesota now, and we like Colorado, but I really don't know if that is the right state for us. My daughter wants to live in Colorado if we move any where.
My husband has kids from his other marriage, all older, ages 32, 28, and 25 so our 12 year old would be the only child. The reason I, or we want to move is because of a few things, I have fibromyalgia, and RA, amongest other health problems, my husband also has problems relating to the cold, so why Colorado??? I was wondering that also, it does get cold there, but not like Minnesota, here it is a damp cold where it goes deep into your bones to where you can't move with out feeling that your going to break, I feel so brittle in this weather. The summers are to hot and humid, can't seem to handle them either, due to allgeries, asthma etc.
The other reason we want out is due to family, his ex likes to cause problems, calls our chil retarded, and puts the older half brothers against their sister, my family is just greedy, and uncaring, same goes for my husbands side, so in our best interest, we would be better off around strangers then living around any of them.
My husbands ex can also after this many years (23) still control my husband, get him to feel guily, and lean towards his sons more then his one and only daughter, before you ask, he was married to his ex for 10 years and has been with me for 23, so it has been very hard to deal with things when you have people trying to break up your marriage since day 1, so I told my husband I was taking our child and moving this summer with or with out him, and so we will have to see where his choice is at, for right now he is saying that he will be moving with us.
My daughter only has one close friend and I told her where ever we move to, I would see to it that she could call her friend every week and they could take turns with, her coming to our place for as long as her parents would allow for in the summer, or our child coming back to Minnesota for a visit, that way, between the cell phone, computer, and summer visits, it would still keep their friendship just as close as it always has been. So now you can tell me what you think? I am ready to hear any ideas, so send them my way. Thanks!!!!!
Ditto your situation! Ex is here, I want out of here....ex took a job in SC and left for 2 years, got fired, and now is back........just as we were preparing to leave. Ugh.
Is he any influence on the children? Are they better off with him close by - does he get involved with school, etc.? Mine was more involved with his step-children because they lived at the house - the stories I could tell - his current wife "made" him take her son (same age as middle child) along when he'd take our children for dinner on visitation nights. She put this same son in my children's elementary school rather than the school he was assigned to, which was closer. In my heart of hearts, I wish I had left with the kids. They are great kids, young adults actually, college grads with jobs (and benefits!!!! ), they are making their peace with their father and for the most part accept that he'll always be selfish and clueless. Remember, you cannot trash talk your ex, even if he is pond scum and you only have to be civil, not friendly, when you talk to him. I guarantee that if you aren't, he'll come out being the poor misunderstood _____ and you'll be the shrew who is keeping him from his kids. Good luck and I understand what you're experiencing; you will be okay.
mm ....yes, he is very involved, in a good way, because he is "here" and is currently unemployed. mm - thanks for sharing.
yorkiemom...go girl! And....thanks for sharing!! I am trying to look at moving this way and have shared all of my thoughts with my son as WE make this decision together........we will never know if we like it or not if we don't try it......we can go...give it a good solid try for a year..and if we really hate it...we can always come back. - although I know it takes longer than a year to feel like home.
mm and yorkiemom...
what we all have in common is that we would like to experience everyday life WITHOUT THOSE --- OR NO LONGER GEOGRAPHICALLY AROUND those who interfere in our daily lives in a negative way ---- me too! Ex borrn and raised here...nobody ever leaves....generation after generation all on the same block kind of thing.......I suppose it is wonderful if you are part of the family..but once you have been OUTCAST....it is terrible running into your former sister in law at the grocery store who doesnt even acknowledge your presence, etc.. (ps I have the fibromy also!.....really achy today also).
And, for me, when you are in a situation in life as I am at this very moment: unemployed, just sold my home, one child 10 years old....there is no reason to stay where you are other than because it is familiar........
anyway, enough yackety yack from me. I say go for it!
mm ....yes, he is very involved, in a good way, because he is "here" and is currently unemployed. mm - thanks for sharing.
yorkiemom...go girl! And....thanks for sharing!! I am trying to look at moving this way and have shared all of my thoughts with my son as WE make this decision together........we will never know if we like it or not if we don't try it......we can go...give it a good solid try for a year..and if we really hate it...we can always come back. - although I know it takes longer than a year to feel like home.
mm and yorkiemom...
what we all have in common is that we would like to experience everyday life WITHOUT THOSE --- OR NO LONGER GEOGRAPHICALLY AROUND those who interfere in our daily lives in a negative way ---- me too! Ex borrn and raised here...nobody ever leaves....generation after generation all on the same block kind of thing.......I suppose it is wonderful if you are part of the family..but once you have been OUTCAST....it is terrible running into your former sister in law at the grocery store who doesnt even acknowledge your presence, etc.. (ps I have the fibromy also!.....really achy today also).
And, for me, when you are in a situation in life as I am at this very moment: unemployed, just sold my home, one child 10 years old....there is no reason to stay where you are other than because it is familiar........
anyway, enough yackety yack from me. I say go for it!
So glad to hear that we have more fibro people out their, it helps to be able to talk to ones that know what we are going through.
I can't wait until we move, it will be in the low teens for highs coming up and around or below zero for lows I hate the cold.
We were sitting at the computer trying to get an idea of what town to move to, we haven't found it yet, but it is sure fun to look, as long as it doesn't get old. Has anyone found a great place that you can call heaven yet?
I keep telling you..Florida!! lol! I am partial, sorry. It's just in my blood - and I feel soooo good physically (and mentally) when I am there.
Nancy - so you are a Fibro girl too, huh? Join the club with me and Yorkie!
I'll say to you what I have said to her...what happened in your life to blow your fuse? You don't have to write it down - reading your post tells me a little. Stress is the little bugger that makes it snap - and then the weather just fuels the fire!
As far as moving - I think age doesn't matter with kids as long as you do it before they hit high school. Once they are in High School, it can be so devastating to take them away from the kids they would graduate with. They are very vulnerable at that point.
When my boys were younger, we moved across the COUNTY, just 20 minutes from their dad. They were in elementary school and my oldest balked alot but did well. He later admitted his year in the other district was the best of his school career, and he wishes he had not been such a baby (his words, not mine) and stayed where he was. He begged us to move back - and we did. The one time I really should have listened to my gut - but let my child make the decision. We can only do our best...
Now that he is 21 and my youngest is 17 and will graduate this spring - with my parents in Florida - we are all talking about moving south. Even my ex-husband (their father) is considering it if we go. We were lucky enough to stay very close, and the kids have always been able to see him whenever they wanted. It would only be natural for us if he followed.
I have heard Arizona and Nevada are great places for relief of Fibro and allergies. Hot but not Humid, and a more temperate winter, as long as you are not in higher elevations.
I have to have the beach, though. Can't get it out of my blood!
Take care girls, and God Bless you wherever you land!
I'm going to be the dissenter in this thread, sorry! I believe that kids should have as much stability as possible when they're growing up. Growing up presents so many challenges through each stage; why make it worse?
Of course, there are always exceptions. My daughter and I moved from a terrible area into a better one right before school ended. That was stressful for her, but I thought it would ultimately be in her best interest, and I was right. That was when she was 11; she's now 21 and off at college, and I'm still living in the same place.
I'll be here until my son moves out (he's only 18). I can't stand my apartment building, but the stability factor is too big to ignore. Unfortunately, I can't move and still stay in the same neighborhood, as giving up my rent controlled apartment would force me to pay $400 more per month.
My poor kids were dragged all over the place when they lived with their dad for five years. I wouldn't wish that on any child; to this day they still remember being the "new" kid in the middle of the school year, etc.
I remember being the "new kid" a lot, and I was shy, but I think it really made me cope, innovate, and open up to new friends and new situations.
Every parent has to do what they feel is right for their children.
If that means stay put, so be it.
For one reason or another (it is a long story), since moving to northwest Florida, we have moved house a total of 4 times since our late October 2005 arrival. Not very stable! We've been renting in furnished places. Most of our stuff is in storage, we just have some clothes, kitchen things, and our computers.
However:
We eat dinner together, we communicate, our son has buddies and sports to keep him happy and busy when not in school. We operate as a family unit.
I do look forward to finally settling some place, but we just aren't there yet.
For older children who move, the internet can be very valuable for keeping in touch. The younger kid talks to Denver friends this way regularly.
Moving, to me, does not have quite the same drastic note of finality that it once did. Our older kid has been all over the place since graduating college and with Facebook and MySpace he still talks to kids he knew in grade school.
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Why we are moving:
), they are making their peace with their father and for the most part accept that he'll always be selfish and clueless. Remember, you cannot trash talk your ex, even if he is pond scum and you only have to be civil, not friendly, when you talk to him. I guarantee that if you aren't, he'll come out being the poor misunderstood _____ and you'll be the shrew who is keeping him from his kids. Good luck and I understand what you're experiencing; you will be okay.
I hate the cold.
I believe that kids should have as much stability as possible when they're growing up. Growing up presents so many challenges through each stage; why make it worse? 
