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It's a form of disrespect. School doesn't start at "8:30-ish", it starts at 8:30am.
It's also very selfish...like what you have to do is so much more important than what others have to do...so just let them wait.
There's no reason to be habitually late, it isn't a timing problem, it is a character problem!!
My kids are in HS now so they are on their own to get up on time for school. If they are running late and want a ride to the bus stop (1/2 mile) I charge them $1. If they miss the bus and I have to drive them the fee is $5 the first time, then it goes up by $5 each time, no limit. Wanna guess how many times they are late and miss the bus???
No, we really don't have that problem I have been getting kids up and off to school for 18 yrs and the only tardy was when we got hit by a drunk driver. It is all a matter of timing and having a schedule.
I have my kids on a strict schedule to get them to school on time. Up at 6 am. Not 6:05, 6 am. Breakfast is until 6:30. Breakfast is *over* at 6:30, whether they have finished or not. Brushing teeth and dressing until 6:40. If they are not dressed by 6:40, I dress them in what I choose. They don't like not being able to choose their clothes, so they are usually dress on time. And then 5 minutes to get coats and lunches and they are ready to go.
I give five minute warnings at every stage. Five minutes to finish breakfast. Five minutes to finish getting dressed. Five minutes till I leave.
Hmm reading that makes me sound a bit like a slave driver.
Haha - nah, not a slave driver. Just an effective parent
I like the idea of 5 minute warnings at every stage of the morning. My little one is still under 2 but I do "warn" him a few minutes before we're about to go somewhere. I'm not sure how much he understands it yet, but I hope it's setting a good foundation for a system like yours.
Last edited by eastwesteastagain; 10-28-2009 at 09:34 PM..
I told my kids once they were in 6th grade they were now responsible for getting themselves up on time and out the door and pack their own lunches.... One is in college and one still in hs - I don't think they were ever late to school in their lives. They got the "early" gene from me not the "5-10 min late is on time" gene from their dad.
I give my 2nd grader 5 minute warnings, too, starting with 20 minutes prior to time to go. I have an alarm that goes off every 5 minutes, starting at 8:00. I've even scheduled in an "oh, crap!" alarm, for when he's running late, so he knows that is the very last second we can leave and still get him there. He's still late once a week or so. I even started getting him up a half hour earlier, his lunch and his bag are almost always ready... He's just a piddler! He does get the late gene from me, though. I've had to work on this a lot, and I think there's been much improvement. I was even 15 minutes early for parent-teacher conferences!
DD is in high school, so she drives herself. Her first hour teacher has a great idea... she has different embarassing tasks for the late ones to do, such as singing the Barney I Love You song, or lately, sing to the class about the lame excuse that made you late today. (It's an acting techniques class, so it's totally appropriate.) It's kind of encouraged her to get the lead out, too!
I lived in Russia for nearly two years and in response to the people that said that being late is rude and inconsiderate (not that I agree or disagree), in Russia rather people who can not accept people who may show up to something late are viewed as impatient and inconsiderate. In The United States the people view punctuality over patience. In Russia, it is the opposite. It would be a sign of disrespect to be rude to someone who came in past when you asked them to. It is unlike Latin American countries though, where two weeks could mean four weeks, in Russia two weeks is two weeks, they just don't value their time so staunchly there.
After I moved from Russia to the United States at times it was uncomfortable, I always felt like people were afraid if they didn't rush something terrible would happen to them in the meantime. Sometimes I look down on Americans who micro-manage their time because I feel like that is just a cover for their large lack of patience. Of course if you show up to class or a meeting late regularly it would be annoying and it would need to be addressed, but I would never see it as a sign of disrespect.
An example of this is during business meetings in Russia, between Russians and foreigners, the Russians will show up late on purpose, sometimes even hours late, just to test whomever they are working with. If you show any signs of being mad about them being late they will conclude that your lack of patience is not worth their time and they will not do business with you. Most American people would be outraged by someone showing up that late. It is just a very different point of view. I think that Americans obsession with being on time comes out of our individualistic roots however, Russia is a quite collective society.
In someways in Russia, there is no such thing as being late. You are just on time or you come in after the time that whatever it was begun. I hope this all makes sense, I don't mean to make an argument, but I think that learning about other cultures points of views on things like this is very important. Sometimes I believe it may even help some people.
My biggest problem with kids being habitually late is that it is very distracting to the whole classroom, mornings are very busy times for most classes, trying to get attendance done, homework handed in, lunch count taken and when a child repeatedly comes in late it causes problems with all of those. Everyone will be late at least once in awhile and that is okay, stuff happens but when it is a regular occurence maybe the parents need to look at what it is that could be done to help the situation.
In certain situations (classrooms being one), there is a limited amount of time to accomplish what must be accomplished. It IS rude to be consistently late and end up holding up, interrupting or distracting those who got there on time. Obviously, there are times it can't be helped but people who are consistently late are certainly putting their need to sleep an extra 5-10 minutes as more important than the rest of the class or the teacher or whomever. Rude IMO.
Habitual lateness to school and work is incredibly inconsiderate, and a big old flashing indicator of lack of responsibility. If it's a consistent issue, it's not a fluke, it's something the person has control over, but it choosing not to handle properly.
So, for the OP who doesn't live in Russia, if her children are consistently late, then there's an easy fix, actually. A consequence for being late or on-time needs to be established in the household - beginning with Mom.
If you're not on time, you're disruptive to everyone. So, it's obvious that the family needs to get up earlier to get everything done to be able to get out the door on time. So any time anyone is late, bedtime is moved up by 15 min. When the children find they are going to bed right after dinner, they'll get their keisters in gear in the morning.
Mom, you can help them learn time management by setting times for every activity to be accomplished and not just the morning school routine. For example, bedmaking, takes 5 minutes unless changing sheets. Give every child a 10 min limit. AND SET A CONSEQUENCE for achieving or not achieving. Achievement = reward type consequence; not achieving = punishment/aversive type consequence. Calling them Earnings or consequences changes how the kids view what's going on. Each child EARNS the consequence, good or bad.
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