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I am a mom with a child in 3rd grade and I'm SICK TO DEATH of the girl drama! I swear it is more the moms than the girls. They put the kids up to it and then they make matters worse. Here is a sampling of a typical day.
Child A is mean. Very mean to other girls and boys. The teachers & administration is aware of it. But her parents are oblivious. In fact, they are certain she's being victimized by Child B and THAT CHILD B is the problem. So they start a campaign to have people "side" with others and both parents and children are now in CAMPS - most against Child A who now has very few friends.
Child C is not mean. She's nice. Her parents are nuts. Child C is ULTRA sensitive though and if someone excludes her (not daily, not on going, but EVER) she falls apart. Her parents run to her rescue and insist she's being bullied by Child D. Child D does not seem to be a bully, but again, parents rush to get "sides" and more people side with C than D. Now child D is ostracized by all but a few children and those who do befriend her risk the wrath of the others for doing so. Child D is very depressed and alone but still labeled a bully.
Child E is hypersensitive and controlling. Every day she insists that Child F play with her or no one else will. Child F likes Child E but wants to play with ALL the kids. So Child E cries, guilts and tells stories about Child F so that they will feel obligated to play with Child E.
The school is oblivious and useless. Yes, I've read all the books on this but nothing seems to have solutions. I'm sick to death of it (meanwhile,my child is none of those mentioned above, but still has to deal with the daily saga...)
Anyone else going through this and does anyone have any SUCCESSFUL stories about making it better?
The only advice I have for you is NOT to take sides and teach your child the same. It is crazy that kids are acting this way younger and younger. The parents either have no idea how to discipline their own child or are too busy blaming everyone else to see that their child is part of the problem!
My 8 yr old niece is having problems with girls at her school right now. It's crazy that girls are acting like this so young. If they are nasty little things at 8 yrs old, imagine what they are going to be like at 16!!??
There is drama in my daughter's class... but I have to say there really are girls who are just NASTY... Snotty... Bi***hes.... even as young as first grade. Maybe I am one of those parents you are talking about but BOY I can tell you stories!
Here's One:
In first grade a group of three girls told my daughter she was not cool... she would never be cool because she didn't shop at Justice. They told her she couldn't be their friend unless she started wearing clothes from JUSTICE. Of course I don't buy clothes from Justice... I buy off the clearence racks - but cute SIMILAR looking clothes... Everyday she was told she could not play with them because she didn't have on an outfit from Justice. She would come home crying... begging me to go to Justice to get her an outfit. It was sick.... They were so nasty to her about her clothes- which were very appropriate and cute but NOT from Justice. I had enough after about two weeks of this that I went to the Teacher. It was getting downright nasty. The teacher put an end to it and I haven't heard a word about Justice ever since....
I have no problem sticking up for my daughter. If she is being harassed or picked on... I will NOT put up with it. Also, these kids cannot grow up treating people like that... they have to LEARN that it is just inappropriate... in her case- not everyone has parents who buy them specific clothes from specific stores... and they need to learn not to belittle and pick on those kids.... If I hadn't spoken up NOBODY would have been aware of it and she would have been picked on longer. She is 7 now and has a different group of friends, who are not as dramaic as last year's group. But if the situation were to repeat itself... you can sure as heck bet I would be writing the teacher making he/she aware of the situation....
It's So sad but I have this happening with my daughters school too. AND I've seen it in all of my nieces and nephews as well.
I HATE to say this. I really HATE to say this, but NOT all kids are sweet and innocent. I'm sorry. I have seen a first grader write on a bathroom wall, tell her teacher it was another girl who then got stuck CLEANING the bathroom. The parent of the child found out and insisted she was going to march the child to school and make things right... uhm, yeah, until her child's 'therapist' said that would be too stressful for the little brat. So she got away with it... let me tell you she is now 12 and she should have been taught a lesson back at 5 and maybe she would not be so horrible now. Because she is HORRIBLE.
I have seen the "Justice" scene played out. I have had a child tell another that her doll is NOT an American Girl Doll and what are your parents "poor?" In 2nd grade.
I have seen a child who is malicious to other children yet when her parents are called to school there is ALWAYS an excuse. In first grade, it was because she was not challenged by the curriculum (yeah, that's a good reason to tell fellow first graders that you hope they die...). In second grade it was because another girl was a Bully. (Well, if being a bully is telling your child to not hit her or steal her things, yeah, I guess the other child was a bully...) In third grade she decided to turn on her former only friend and blame her for the fact that she has no friends. Yes, she had no friends because she is MEAN but rather than accept responsibility she said it's because the one child who WOULD befriend her was not allowing her to befriend other children. So, yet again, her parents labeled the other child a bully. Well, now that child wants nothing to do with her and she has NO friends.... so I wonder whose fault it will be now that they are in 4th grade.
SELF RESPONSIBILITY is dead in our nation and man, it's really hurting our kids.
But that nastiness, I don't know. Maybe it's happening younger because kids in Kindergarten should no longer be watching Clifford (OMG what a BABY!) but should be into Hannah Montana. And 12 yr olds would be considered complete nerds if they chose Hannah over say 90210 or some trash like that. We want the kids to grow up SO fast and it's a real shame. I think that's why it's happening YOUNGER.
I think it HAPPENS because parents teach their children some pretty messed up values.
How to fight it? PLEASE let me know because I'm sick of seeing it at my school too.
Scary and sad that this is happening at such a young age. It makes me want to home school.
I hear you, but really, we need MORE parents that have a vested interest in teaching their own kids self responsibility and discipline. Don't home school, gear up and take action!
I have just started in our public school system and so far I have just one boy in 1st grade. The girls are already nasty and the boys are like cavemen on speed!
It is horrendous at times, yes, and shocking as to what is considered 'acceptable' behavior.
But unless you are willing to stick your neck out and volunteer in the classrooms, school board etc, then it totally feels overwhelming.
Don't run away and homeschool! Get involved, heavily, if possible, in the school's daily goings on, or weekly or monthly even, the sane parent minority begs it of you!!!
When my DD was in "Catholic" school, there were similar issues.... this one brat was an obnoxious bully since Kindergarten. She picked on whoever she could pick on and get away with it. Very nasty, very rotten, very horrible kid.
In the 4th grade, she drew a picture of herself with a gun shooting another student in the head. The other kid saw the picture, grabbed it and showed the teacher. NOTHING WAS DONE ABOUT IT. NOTHING!!!! The principal was told and he did absolutely NOTHING. On top of everything, this brat's father is a cop and she has access to guns. With her history of bullying (and a lot of parental complaints!) you would think the principal would do something but he did NOTHING.
That was a part of the reason (among many others) that I pulled my daughter out of Catholic school and put her in public school.
I can honestly say that this is not a Catholic or Public school issue thought. It exists in both and it can be handled well or badly in both.
Some Catholic Schools have very low enrollment these days and they are apt to look the other way for anything in order to "keep the numbers up." But other Catholic Schools I've worked with have really practiced what they preach and foster a sense of respect and caring among their students. One plus, in a Catholic School, you are not going to get the "Justice" factor when you are all wearing the same grey plaid jumper and white Peter Pan collared blouse! LOL
Another thing, if a CS is not worried about numbers, they CAN tell a child they have to leave the school if things get too out of hand. In many public schools, that will never occur because they are forced to keep the children in school. Of course, we are talking EXTREME cases here.
I too would FLIP if I had the incident you describe omigawd.
I'd recommend reading "Queen Bees and Wannabees" and "Odd Girl Out"
They really deal with "girl" bullying. I think Queen Bees is the better of the two and I also think it gives more practical advise, but both are good.
I'm not a big advocate of home schooling because kids NEED to get out into the world and understand how to deal with ALL sorts of people. There are resources out there to help kids learn to cope AND to help those with anti-social behavior to learn the proper way to behave. Let's really be honest, school is not just about academics... it's teaching children how to act in society. But I can understand how these stories can make you want to cringe and run away from it all... believe me.
I hear you, but really, we need MORE parents that have a vested interest in teaching their own kids self responsibility and discipline. Don't home school, gear up and take action!
I have just started in our public school system and so far I have just one boy in 1st grade. The girls are already nasty and the boys are like cavemen on speed!
It is horrendous at times, yes, and shocking as to what is considered 'acceptable' behavior.
But unless you are willing to stick your neck out and volunteer in the classrooms, school board etc, then it totally feels overwhelming.
Don't run away and homeschool! Get involved, heavily, if possible, in the school's daily goings on, or weekly or monthly even, the sane parent minority begs it of you!!!
LOL Sane parent minority. I so understand that! LOL I have to admit. I think one thing everyone has to lose is the NOT MY CHILD syndrome. Yeah, sometimes YOUR child. Or MY child. Or ANY child. Remember this....
There are no GOOD or BAD people. There are PEOPLE who are capable of doing GOOD and BAD things.
That applies to adults AND children. Sadly, many of these kids are just learning bad habits from their parents.
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It makes me want to home school. 
