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If it was your husband's medical insurance, or your husband was the one who signed the papers guaranteeing that -he- would be legally responsible for paying the bill, then that might be why they wanted his consent. Just to ensure that he acknowledges that the documentation he originally agreed to, had changed, and he still agrees.
18 years ago, paperwork was a lot different. If he wasn't financially responsible, I can't imagine why they'd need him to sign anything, other than the papers agreeing to be responsible for the baby if anything happened to the mom.
I wasn't married! The man wasn't even at the hospital! Heck, he wasn't even in my life! I left him when I found out I was pregnant!
There is no good reason, legally or morally, for an adult to make decisions on medical treatment another adult receives if the adult patient is fully capable of making the decision. Regardless of whose insurance or who pays medical bills, patients have rights. My own children have a right to make decisions about their medical care even though I pay their bills. They've had that right since they were 14 years old. In my state, parents do not have the authority to prevent children from receiving certain medical care or treatment if the child wants it. Alternately, parents can't force children over 14 to receive treatment the child does not want.
And I know that even 18 years ago whose insurance policy is irrelevant. 25 years ago I couldn't even obtain information on treatment my first husband received at the hospital. He was on my medical insurance. I received a bill for emergency room treatment I didn't know anything about. I called the hospital to find out what the bill was for. They said they couldn't tell me, it was against the law to share patient information even with spouses, even with spouses who have the insurance policy. I called the insurance company and the insurance company wouldn't give me information about the treatment. If I couldn't have information about the treatment, I most certainly didn't have a right to dictate or authorize treatment of another adult even as far back as 25 years ago.
Bottom line: being financially responsible does not take away the rights of another adult. Period. There's just no way.
The nutty doctor was just worried about liability. She was worried about being sued by a biological father if something happened to the baby. Meanwhile, the postponement could have killed the baby because the baby was in fetal distress. It was just insanity.
While we're on the subject of epidurals, if you have back labor, anaesthesia is going to have no effect on that pain at all. It doesn't numb bone pain. So you can't move your legs and it's still excruciating. Look that one up txtqueen. Good times.
As for calling things that go wrong in Labor and Delivery "rape", well how dare they. Stop it this instant. People need to cease and desist using that word to describe every little slight against their person, including "my jar of pickles cost 2 cents more at DiDi's Overpriced Luxury Items than it did last week, I was raped." I agree with Ceece, it fuzzies up the real meaning of the word.
Some women today are so hung up on their birth plan that they just can't handle it when things don't go their way, your romanitized vision of how beautiful your birthing process didn't come to pass does not mean you can call it rape.
EXACTLY!! You know what my birth plan was? To get the baby out of me! And if it meant that something did go according to what someone thought should be, I didn't care. My child's health came first, then mine.
I understand mothers wanting a birth plan, but a PLAN doesn't mean you get your way.
My second child was c-section. Before the doctor decided to do this, he put his whole arm up there to see if he could turn her. Pain, OMG YES! Rape, a definite NO.
On a side note, who the heck wants a c-section? My first was vaginal and within 1/2 hour I was in the cafeteria getting a soda. The c-section recovery was miserable. I was in pain for weeks.
EXACTLY!! You know what my birth plan was? To get the baby out of me! And if it meant that something did go according to what someone thought should be, I didn't care. My child's health came first, then mine.
I understand mothers wanting a birth plan, but a PLAN doesn't mean you get your way.
"Birth rape" term?- what a disgrace.
Birth plans are great. When I worked L&D, I loved birth plans...as a starting off point. It was really helpful knowing ahead of time if we were shooting for no meds, epidural immediately post-conception, or something in between. If we were going to be filming, chanting, or observing strict silence so the baby's soul didn't land on Venus (seriously), I wanted to know up front.
OTOH, nobody's yet gotten a baby to sign a birth plan saying he or she won't have increasingly late heart rate decelerations, or pass meconium, or just decide not to come out after 30 hours of labor. When that cord prolapses, there's a good change Mom will have a swift ride to the OR for a crash section, with a nurse kneeling between her legs with most of her hand stuck someplace personal, holding the baby's head off the cord. (Unless things have changed in the last 10 years, in which...yay. I'm glad, because I didn't enjoy that trip either.) So y'know, plan for the best, and you might well get it-- but as long as you have a healthy mom and baby at the end, that's the point, not whether you ever got to use your can of tennis balls and your Tangerine Dream CD.
All I could think of as I read this thread was all the people who have wished for some form of "birth rape" through the centuries to save the lives of their babies, or their wives/mothers, or themselves when delivery didn't go as planned.
My doctor induced labor and very unceremoniously broke my water (hurt? hell yeah!) but my daughter was overdue, not positioned right and weighed 8 lbs. 13 oz. at birth. The doctor also had to use a vacuum extractor to get her out. I had an endless parade of nurses in and out coaching me on how to push. Thank goodness for all of that. I ended up with a big, beautiful, healthy baby.
I shudder to think what would have happened if she'd continued to grow and the placenta had deteriorated over time (as it does). Let's hear it for doctors and medical staff intent on delivering a healthy baby and saving womens' lives!
[quote=FinsterRufus;15880326]While we're on the subject of epidurals, if you have back labor, anaesthesia is going to have no effect on that pain at all. It doesn't numb bone pain. So you can't move your legs and it's still excruciating. Look that one up txtqueen. Good times.
QUOTE]
As someone who has experienced back labor twice, I will say that pain meds did not reduce my pain, but made it easier to bear. Yeah for statins!
My water broke with number one just after the epidural was administered and before it had taken affect. I began pushing and my legs were completely numb for hours after, though my back ached terribly still. I was told that was because I was pushing rather than allowing the meds to "soak".
With number two, the baby went into distress 34 1/2 hours into labor, while I was receiving the epidural. Same problem, but the back pain was relieved as soon as he cleared the birth canal.
OTOH, nobody's yet gotten a baby to sign a birth plan saying he or she won't have increasingly late heart rate decelerations, or pass meconium, or just decide not to come out after 30 hours of labor. When that cord prolapses, there's a good change Mom will have a swift ride to the OR for a crash section, with a nurse kneeling between her legs with most of her hand stuck someplace personal, holding the baby's head off the cord. (Unless things have changed in the last 10 years, in which...yay. I'm glad, because I didn't enjoy that trip either.) So y'know, plan for the best, and you might well get it-- but as long as you have a healthy mom and baby at the end, that's the point, not whether you ever got to use your can of tennis balls and your Tangerine Dream CD.
This is something I've never understood. Besides the fact that a c-section is major surgery and pretty scary, why did you get pregnant? For you to have an "enlightening text book" birthing scenario or to have a baby? You can't control what goes on (for the VERY most part) of a pregnancy, let alone the birthing process. You can try, but the baby doesn't always cooperate.
My SIL was so upset that she had a c-section with her first - her midwife didn't believe in ANY interventions (stethoscope ONLY) so MW let SIL go 3 weeks over due with a breech until her concern set in and sent SIL to the hospital for an ultrasound. Apparently the MW mistook the head for the rear-end. SIL ended up depressed for months, felt she was robbed of some "right" that SHE was owed. Took no consolation in having a healthy baby until her best friend delivered vaginally at 39 weeks and baby ended up in NICU for a month due to meconium aspiration. Woke her "poor me" behind right up.
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