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Originally Posted by keraT
Thanks for the suggestion. Yes I have crossed over 30 but not 35 yet. I have had the mentality "if it happens, it happens. Living to god" in most part but I need to get basic screening. What if the solution is something simple.
What type of questions did you ask when you called up the doctor? What do you mean by stat? do you mean what is the success rate? Also if you don't mind can you give rough estimation on how much it cost
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Yeah don't waste time. God expects you help yourself, we have technology to assist us so use it. It could be you, it could be your partner. You never know until they start working you over.
Essentially you want to find out what their statistics are for the age group you are in. So 30 -34 or so is a good age group. These are the years that ever single year makes a huge difference in success rates so the later you go the harder it can be to have success. So don't wait around.
What they'll show you is they'll have X number of people that go through the process and Y number of success. You make a percentage out of that for each age group (they'll have these stats or they aren't reputable) and you can compare. They should all be pretty close and if you find one that does better or worse you'll know they are doing something right or wrong.
Just keep in mind that when you look at stats, you have to know the age group. They might have a 95% success rate. Ok what is the age group? Oh 20 to 25? Well no ****, how about your success rate for 30 - 35 or 35+? That is where the rubber meets the road, that is the hard group to get pregnant so compare apples to apples.
If your health insurance isn't forced by the state to cover the costs, fertility treatments can be expensive. Don't let it sway you, because sometimes the cheap treatment does work. However it can be pricey, they do have options.
The first step is to work you both up. They'll look at his sperm, your cycle and do some ultrasounds of your ovaries to make sure things are working ok. They'll also make sure your tubes are open down there so the egg and sperm can meet and ultimately the embryo cab nestle in the uterus. They'll also measure your lining to make sure it is thick enough among other things like genetic testing.
Depending on what they find they'll design a care plan for you. The initial stuff isn't so bad. 100 to couple hundred per procedure. Really it depends on the specifics.
After that it really depends. Most of the time it is a steady process starting with simple stuff and moving a long as things don't work.
So if they can use a med to fix an underlying problem, they'll do that. Say you need a thicker lining or you aren't cycling right. They can fix that with medicine. Maybe your husband has short tails, low count etc.
If you're normal on everything they'll start you with something like Clomid. Do a few cycles and watch you ovulate. You'll be on a set system, clean his pipes out 48 hours prior and have sex during your LH (luteinizing hormone) peak for several days etc.. This is pretty cheap. Clomid is inexpensive and the ultrasound isn't that bad.
That doesn't work they'll consider doing IUI which will simply take his sperm and bypass your cervix injecting it directly into your uterus. IIRC these were around 1500 a cycle.
That doesn't work they'll ramp up to FSH (follicle stimulating hormones) IUI. Same thing but they are ramping up your egg production. At this point they are thinking it is an egg quality issue so they are looking to get your body to prep those eggs better and more of them to increase the odds. These get more expensive around 3k a cycle but varies a lot depending on the drugs you need to get rolling so could be less or more. We skipped this and went to IVF because after looking at the success rates it didn't seem worth it to us.
That doesn't work you're left with IVF or some version of IVF like ICSI. Which is where they give you FSH to make a lot of eggs. Twilight you and withdraw those eggs. Clean them up and mix the sperm. They then make embryos. Now keep in mind that at this point your egg quality is likely very very low and you've very likely have actually gotten pregnant many dozens of times but it never took because the embryo dies. Very sad but a fact of nature. So when they do this in the lab everything is at the best possible conditions but most will not make it. if they were to make it, you wouldn't need the fertility clinic in the first place.
So what happens is they keep the embryos for 3 or 5 days. 5 is preferable but if things don't go as well they will call you in at day 3. They will implant the embryos that are best. Usually 2 or 3 but you will go over that with the doc before hand. If there are any left, which is unlikely the older you get but does happen, you can either implant and take your chances with triplets or freeze them and go for another, cheaper run with another child.
Something they'll explain to you in detail as you go through the process. The odds of success are much much much higher with frozen than at the start. Really the issue in many cases is the egg quality is very low so going through the natural process of letting out a single egg or two without any hormone help simply isn't going to get things done anymore.
Cost of IVF varies but most of the cost is the meds and procedure. Ours ran around 17k. You have options to do a few things. You can pay for it and be done. This is what we did. You can pay for around 1.75 cycles and they will guarantee you 3 complete attempts. If you get pregnant on the first, that is it, no more. You paid for 1.75 and got one but you got your kid. If you need 2 or 3 cycles then you made out on a good deal. They also offer financing options if needed. I don't know the terms because we didnt' use it.
Now Let me share one thing. I had issues with going with IVF. When I was younger and with another woman we got pregnant and decided to abort. I regret that immensely now and it caused me to have significant issues looking at the possibility of having to make another decision regarding my unborn children again.
What brought me to do it is this. Fact is, my wife and I had been trying for years. My sperm were healthy and her eggs were poor quality. Odds are we made dozens of children that simply didn't make it. Fact of the matter is just about everyone that ever had unprotected sex and didn't get pregnant likely has the same. This is how nature works but we don't see it so it flies under the radar. However we create a lot of life that never is born because they die before anyone even knows they are there.
We were going to continue to try regardless, so why not give them all the best shot possible and do it right? Either way, those eggs or some other egg would of been met with sperm. This was the best way to give them the best shot at life.
When we did the IVF we had 17 eggs come out. One had not undergone mitosis so it was a no go. All 16 fertilized. By the time day 3 rolled around all but 4 were already dead. By the time day 5 implantation came there was only 1 really solid Blastocyst with the second more than 12 hours behind. Which effectively meant we only had 1 embryo to implant. We put both in but only one took.
That is a pretty typical story although our egg count was on the high side that is a typical result of people that undergo IVF. Generally poor eggs, you need good drugs to prep them properly and get the body ready and then good numbers because the numbers game is stacked against you.
What you are doing is giving yourself the best possible situation, the best possible environment and the best possible odds to find success by going this route.
Morally I feel fine with the decision. We have our little girl and after seeing the numbers from our results I know full and well the odds of us having her without IVF were as close to 0 as possible. We still "try" naturally but have had no success since. I don't enjoy the fact that 15 souls were created for my daughter to be born but fact of the matter is we've probably twenty or more times that without even knowing it over the 20 years we have had unprotected sex. Such is the way of things.
Good luck in your decision. The only thing I can tell you is to go for it. If you are asking the question then don't let the obstacles or the worries get in the way. God bless you and your family and I wish you success with a healthy, happy, loving, easy child for you to raise. Just like ours.
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