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I'm a middle aged male who recently did a very foolish thing and tried to intervene when I saw two young women arguing and looking like they were going to physically start fighting. I felt comfortable doing this because nobody else was doing anything, I am a tall man who is 6'4, 220lbs and these were normal looking college girls. I also have daughters their age, so I felt a paternal sort of urge. I'm not justifying what I did, just explaing my mindset.
So I got between them and did not touch either of them. I asked them to calm down and avoid fighting. One of the girls shoved me out of the way and just ran off while she cursed at the other one while doing so. The remaining girl was very angry at me and did not say a word but just attacked me! I was never in an actual fight before so I wasn't prepared. I had a huge adrenaline dump and she was just throwing fists at me. All I could do was cover my head and try to back up. She could hit HARD too! I got hit in the face at one point and I had no idea how awful that feels. Pretty soon, I was on the ground, she was on top of me and THEN she started cursing and yelling at me for butting in! Almost immediately after, other people were pulling her off me. The whole thing couldn't have lasted a minute? She ran off also, I guess nobody was willing to restrain a college girl and she wasn't going to wait around to find out. People were saying I needed medical attention and looked terrible. My nose was bleeding all over. I didn't even know until someone told me.
EMTs came and told me how stupid and lucky I was and that people have died from a punch, just from hitting their head wrong and there was pavement all around me. No real damage was done other than bruises but the psychological part is taking a toll!
All of my life, I just assumed that I could handle myself. People gave me space and respect, just for being a 6'4 220lbs dude who occasionally lifted weights. I never sought out trouble, was never a victim of crime, and I just let it all go to my head and never guessed I was this vulnerable. I got my butt kicked by a college girl who is my daughter's age and SHOCKINGLY easily! I don't know what I could have done differently. I didn't have a chance to hit back and that would have been a bad idea too because the crowd would have turned on me.
Once she had me trapped on the ground, I had a panic attack while she was on top of me. I never felt that helpless. I was crying and begging like a child for her to stop. I don't know if she or anyone else heard me because she was still in this "zone" of anger but I know that it happened and I have been very ashamed that I so easily got reduced to that level. It shattered my pride in myself.
Now I have nightmares where she or someone else is on top of me, punching me, but nobody comes to help.
I have clausrophobia now where I can't stand being in places where my path is blocked or I feel trapped. I lost it in the supermarket recently when some old lady blocked the asile ahead and there were people behind me. I can't be in subway trains when I am pushed into the middle of the car.
Nobody in my life is supportive. My wife is understandably angry that I involved myself but also feels ashamed and almost betrayed that it went down like it did and I lost so easily. All of the men in my life can't believe a woman could do this to a man. They say, I held back because I was afraid to hit a woman or that all I needed to do was get one hit in. I no longer think so. I think we could have a rematch and she would still beat me. She is faster, in better shape and can throw very hard and painful punches. She's also in her early 20s and in the prime of her life and I am pushing 50 and mostly sedentary and have never been in a fight or had any training in it.
I plan to learn some self defense and never butt into other people's business again but man is this humbling.
I’d say call a crisis hotline and ask for any numbers for victims of assault support hotlines or groups.
You need support to understand that you have nothing to be ashamed of. Victims are often blamed but the reality is that often assaults are so quick and unexpected we can be taken off guard and it’s those crucial seconds we can get taken down.
I'm sorry that you're going through this OP. That girl sounds nuts. As a woman, I would completely support you giving her a punch to the face.. Some females honestly deserve it.
Once she had me trapped on the ground, I had a panic attack while she was on top of me. I never felt that helpless. I was crying and begging like a child for her to stop. I don't know if she or anyone else heard me because she was still in this "zone" of anger but I know that it happened and I have been very ashamed that I so easily got reduced to that level. It shattered my pride in myself.
Now I have nightmares where she or someone else is on top of me, punching me, but nobody comes to help. I have clausrophobia now where I can't stand being in places where my path is blocked or I feel trapped. I lost it in the supermarket recently when some old lady blocked the asile ahead and there were people behind me. I can't be in subway trains when I am pushed into the middle of the car.
OP, these are symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress. Google PTSD treatment + EMDR (a very effective and efficient treatment) + your city to find psychotherapists who offer the treatment you need. You'll be surprised at how quickly your symptoms can resolve. The treatment does NOT require talking about/reliving the incident. It's a godsend.
That didn't cross my mind but now it does. That size guy gets taken down by a young female of unknown size? It's certainly possible. And I thought all guys had been in fights as kids, apparently not. Even if you haven't, it seems the instinct would be to either control her, throw her to the ground, or pop her one in the gut or face. Where's my crystal ball?
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