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-Always has to be a contrarian, in even the most inconsequential matters. To him, everyone’s a “dumb sheep” and he’ll go out of his way just to be different, even if it’s to his detriment.
-Despite being a contrarian in most matters, pays the utmost attention to his clothes, the kind of car he drives, etc. Is very much into status symbols.
-Latches onto conspiracy theories and thinks he’s unique because of some supposed insider knowledge.
-Always has to support controversial, fringe politicians.
-Arrogant attitude and behavior and thinks he’s smarter than the masses and as such, refuses to follow rules. Example: During Covid, certain businesses had mask mandates he was forced to comply with yet he just had to choose the one type of mask that wasn’t recommended - a handkerchief tied around his face.
-Delights in constantly breaking rules, especially if it irks people.
-Underperforms in the job market and has no achievements commensurate his sense of self worth.
-Is a devout member of the Greek Orthodox Church and acts as if he’s a high-ranking member of same. Despite being religious, displays stunningly selfish behavior and a lack of empathy for others. Justifies these behaviors in the name of his religion. Although not a monk, he looks like one with his beard and religious icons he sometimes wears.
-Despite being a forty something man, constantly complains about all the annoyances everyone experiences. It honestly reminds me of a teenager who enters the real world and suddenly discovers that yes, life is full of stupid crap.
-Hates the government with a passion, yet is the first in line to apply for a government benefit, or job.
-Enjoys being argumentative and refuses to let certain topics die.
He sounds "Q" (Qanon) or Q Adjucant. They act like that around the normies (this would be their public behavior trying to ramp down their radicalness) but to their Frens and Pepes, they have their own cult and even deeper beliefs.
That's what I was thinking is a possibility too, more than a narcissistic disorder. Or he could be using drugs.
OP -check out the 3 lists and explanations of symptoms in this website about Adult Oppositional Defiant Disorder and see if any of this describes your friend.
Just a word of caution to be careful about not confronting or mentioning your suspicions about your friend's mental instability. If you're really concerned about his mental well being you might want to suggest to him that he may benefit from some guidance from a qualified counsellor. But don't say anything to him about maybe having narcissistic personality disorders or any other kinds of named disorder. Be prepared for him to get angry with you if you make any suggestions.
Narcissistic personality disorder has become a broad brush one size fits all diagnosis from a lot of online amateur diagnosticians who aren't certified or qualified to judge whether or not they or any other individual is suffering from a psychological disorder because of having an odd personality. Leave diagnosis up to the trained professionals.
If your friend is becoming more and more disagreeable and causing frustration and annoyance for you it may be best to stop engaging with him.
I've had the misfortune of having 2 girlfriends w/ NPD (one I married 40 years ago). They're very hard to spot initially. Both showed exactly the same characteristics, but whether this applies to all of the people w/ NPD, I don't know.
Charlotte, the one I married 40 years ago, had a bubbly, bright personality. She was very pretty and sexy, and really adored me. But then I noticed that things she had told me didn't add up. She had a talent for what she termed "embroidering the truth", or what I would call bald face lying! It was the inconsistencies that began to bother me, and we eventually divorced about 2 years later. She went through a succession of lovers, and once in my car ducked low in the seat so that some guy didn't see her.
June was basically the same personality, but amped up by a factor of 10. Another very beautiful woman who once modeled. One characteristic she shared w/ Charlotte was that when I first saw them, it felt like a mild thunderbolt. Something subconsciously was pulling me into their vortex, for lack of a better term. That woman drove me insane w/ her lies. She lied about everything! Charlotte did too I later found out, but June was one for the books. We went to counseling sessions together, but she always manipulated the therapist away from telling the truth.
The internet is where I discovered that June was a NARC by taking an online test that pinpointed if someone had a NPD. June checked every single variable. I can't begin to tell you what a relief it was to know that I wasn't going crazy, and to finally, finally understand what I was dealing with. Later, I met up w/ Charlotte again after those 40 years, and got away like a lightening bolt after just 3 days of her company because she obviously was gaming me all over again.
People w/ NPD will lie like dogs, even when there is no reason to. They're basically dangerous sociopaths who are masters at manipulating people. They tend to have been raised by one or both parents who had NPD, and were usually enmeshed with one, meaning that had a relationship where one of the NPD parents took on the role of husband or wife to them, depending on what gender the child was. Not sexually, usually, but otherwise it was exactly that of a mate, and that bonded relationship was never broken even when they left home. They do NOT respond to treatment because they don't think there is anything wrong w/ them, and the only way to deal w/ them is to get away and make sure they don't have your new phone number or address. They know exactly where your emotions are, and are always the lead actor in their psychodramas. Its really a frightening disorder, you begin to doubt your own sanity after a while if you're caught in their web.
Last edited by stephenMM; 02-25-2024 at 07:42 AM..
I've had the misfortune of having 2 girlfriends w/ NPD (one I married 40 years ago). They're very hard to spot initially. Both showed exactly the same characteristics, but whether this applies to all of the people w/ NPD, I don't know.
Charlotte, the one I married 40 years ago, had a bubbly, bright personality. She was very pretty and sexy, and really adored me. But then I noticed that things she had told me didn't add up. She had a talent for what she termed "embroidering the truth", or what I would call bald face lying! It was the inconsistencies that began to bother me, and we eventually divorced about 2 years later. She went through a succession of lovers, and once in my car ducked low in the seat so that some guy didn't see her.
June was basically the same personality, but amped up by a factor of 10. Another very beautiful woman who once modeled. One characteristic she shared w/ Charlotte was that when I first saw them, it felt like a mild thunderbolt. Something subconsciously was pulling me into their vortex, for lack of a better term. That woman drove me insane w/ her lies. She lied about everything! Charlotte did too I later found out, but June was one for the books. We went to counseling sessions together, but she always manipulated the therapist away from telling the truth.
The internet is where I discovered that June was a NARC by taking an online test that pinpointed if someone had a NPD. June checked every single variable. I can't begin to tell you what a relief it was to know that I wasn't going crazy, and to finally, finally understand what I was dealing with. Later, I met up w/ Charlotte again after those 40 years, and got away like a lightening bolt after just 3 days of her company because she obviously was gaming me all over again.
People w/ NPD will lie like dogs, even when there is no reason to. They're basically dangerous sociopaths who are masters at manipulating people. They tend to have been raised by one or both parents who had NPD, and were usually enmeshed with one, meaning that had a relationship where one of the NPD parents took on the role of husband or wife to them, depending on what gender the child was. Not sexually, usually, but otherwise it was exactly that of a mate, and that bonded relationship was never broken even when they left home. They do NOT respond to treatment because they don't think there is anything wrong w/ them, and the only way to deal w/ them is to get away and make sure they don't have your new phone number or address. They know exactly where your emotions are, and are always the lead actor in their psychodramas. Its really a frightening disorder, you begin to doubt your own sanity after a while if you're caught in their web.
You shouldn't rely on online tests as a diagnostic tool when it comes to mental health. It's irresponsible and dangerous to do so. Only licensed health care professionals can diagnose someone with mental health disorders.
I have a friend and I have to say…the more I know, the less I want to know. Is this narcissistic personality disorder, or something else?
-Always has to be a contrarian, in even the most inconsequential matters. To him, everyone’s a “dumb sheep” and he’ll go out of his way just to be different, even if it’s to his detriment.
-Despite being a contrarian in most matters, pays the utmost attention to his clothes, the kind of car he drives, etc. Is very much into status symbols.
-Latches onto conspiracy theories and thinks he’s unique because of some supposed insider knowledge.
-Always has to support controversial, fringe politicians.
-Arrogant attitude and behavior and thinks he’s smarter than the masses and as such, refuses to follow rules. Example: During Covid, certain businesses had mask mandates he was forced to comply with yet he just had to choose the one type of mask that wasn’t recommended - a handkerchief tied around his face.
-Delights in constantly breaking rules, especially if it irks people.
-Underperforms in the job market and has no achievements commensurate his sense of self worth.
-Is a devout member of the Greek Orthodox Church and acts as if he’s a high-ranking member of same. Despite being religious, displays stunningly selfish behavior and a lack of empathy for others. Justifies these behaviors in the name of his religion. Although not a monk, he looks like one with his beard and religious icons he sometimes wears.
-Despite being a forty something man, constantly complains about all the annoyances everyone experiences. It honestly reminds me of a teenager who enters the real world and suddenly discovers that yes, life is full of stupid crap.
-Hates the government with a passion, yet is the first in line to apply for a government benefit, or job.
-Enjoys being argumentative and refuses to let certain topics die.
What is this? Whatever it is, it’s cost him many friendships yet in his mind, everyone else is the problem, of course.
For some reason, it seems that "narcissist" is the new word that everyone wants to use. People seem to be diagnosing everyone else but have no clue what's wrong with themselves. I guess it makes people feel normal to label other people as a narcissist, when it's usually the person doing the diagnosing that is the mentally ill one.
>People w/ NPD will lie like dogs, even when there is no reason to. They're basically dangerous sociopaths who are masters at manipulating people.
WHOA! This isn’t true AT ALL!! *Some* may be like this, but this is actually a key feature of Antisocial Personality Disorder. The NDP person usually lies to make themselves look better or to get out of responsibly, or regret and shame, but not for sport.
OP,
Your friend sounds like they have some “narcissistic tendencies” as you can’t diagnose someone online like that but yeah, those are narcissistic tendencies.
Also, if you don’t already know this, I’m guessing he has no self awareness and does not GAF about you as a person and is in general incapable of caring about others.
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