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I don't think there's anything wrong w/ you. It's just something you do sometimes. Being aware of it is half the solution.
I would suggest that when it gets to the next "something" you wish to attend, buy the tickets. Fill the car up w/ gas or buy a non refundable plane/train/bus ticket. Make a hotel reservation. In short, make damn sure that you feel the pain if you just don't go simply because you just don't go. If there's no tangible loss one way or the other, then it's too convenient to do nothing. It helps to make plans w/ someone else if you can too, but I'm almost positive that if you had done those things or something like them, the result may have been different.
What you're describing is something I think all of us have done at one time or another. It's a strategy I've used countless times when it came to moving. It's so easy to keep kicking that can down the road and stay w/ what is known. But the minute a place is given a written notice of moving, then that's that.
At some point our brains have to figure out a way to outsmart our own minds.
I think some of you are minimizing it; it's not just missing a few events due to procrastination -- it's making the wrong decision EVERY time I have to make a decision in every area of my life, at every turn. If I take action and do something, it turns out to be the wrong move; if I DON'T do something, it turns out I should have. And I never have clarity about the situation until it's too late, generally IMMEDIATELY after it's too late. In other words, it's more pervasive and ultimately self-destructive than merely dragging my feet. For lack of a better formal diagnosis, I'll just call it "F-Up Syndrome."
I think some of you are minimizing it; it's not just missing a few events due to procrastination -- it's making the wrong decision EVERY time I have to make a decision in every area of my life, at every turn. If I take action and do something, it turns out to be the wrong move; if I DON'T do something, it turns out I should have. And I never have clarity about the situation until it's too late, generally IMMEDIATELY after it's too late. In other words, it's more pervasive and ultimately self-destructive than merely dragging my feet. For lack of a better formal diagnosis, I'll just call it "F-Up Syndrome."
No, we went through that car thing with you and you didn't F that up. You made the right decision there.
Then, you have not F'd up by buying the wrong condo on a beach yet.
I think you probably made the right decision to stay home with your cat because you could afford to retire instead of going back into the office.
In retrospect there might always be a better decision. But, is it better if it is not what you want to do? I think maybe the problem is the way you are evaluating the outcomes (with hindsight being 20/20).
Then, you have not F'd up by buying the wrong condo on a beach yet.
Haha; but I'm working on it!
As for the cat/job situation, in retrospect, I should have just taken the time I needed and let them fire me rather than "quit" (retire); at least I'd have gotten unemployment and it wouldn't have been ME shooting myself in the foot. To be honest, I don't think they would have. But, again, this didn't occur to me until it was too late...
It's almost like I'm unable to think clearly until the "danger" (or stress of the current situation) has passed; I suppose that would be attributable to anxiety?
Either that or I become so laser-focused on whatever "solution" I've arrived at that I cease or fail to entertain alternative actions.
As for the cat/job situation, in retrospect, I should have just taken the time I needed and let them fire me rather than "quit" (retire); at least I'd have gotten unemployment and it wouldn't have been ME shooting myself in the foot. To be honest, I don't think they would have. But, again, this didn't occur to me until it was too late...
It's almost like I'm unable to think clearly until the "danger" (or stress of the current situation) has passed; I suppose that would be attributable to anxiety?
Either that or I become so laser-focused on whatever "solution" I've arrived at that I cease or fail to entertain alternative actions.
It might just be stupidity after all!
I do not think that being fired would have been the way to go. It would limit you if you decide you want to work. I once talked to my counselor about decision making. I told him it takes me forever and a day to make a decision. He said, though, by the time you make the decision you know it's the right decision. I thought about that a lot and realized he was right. I take a long methodical approach to decision making and I rarely regret my decisions (yes, it happens, just not all the time). But, I have made some bad big decisions. The thing you don't think about is all the bad decisions you have avoided.
Yes, and it actually turned out to be cloudy there. Still, I would've enjoyed my little getaway... I can and do plan and execute other trips, yet somehow this unrepeatable once-in-a-lifetime trip flew right under my radar. Why? It's just one instance in a larger pattern of shooting myself in the foot which I find unfathomable and also very disturbing.
What else do you do, or miss doing, that disturbs you similarly?
What else do you do, or miss doing, that disturbs you similarly?
Almost everything. I toured a million houses/condos, passed up amazing ones, and bought the one I shouldn't have. I also sold the one I should've kept. I feel I've either put my beloved pets down too late, making them suffer unnecessarily or, conversely, too early, robbing them of life. I cut my hair and wished I hadn't; now I'm letting it grow knowing it's not a good look. Then I have regrets about relationships and how they ended or, on the other end of the spectrum, went on way too long. Etc.
I could go on; it's obviously a pattern.
Retelling the latest debacle, my relative asked, "Why do you always make the wrong decision?"
Maybe stop looking back and only concentrate on now and the future. We can’t do anything about the past. Therapy might be helpful to assist you in determining what decisions you need to make going forward.
Almost everything. I toured a million houses/condos, passed up amazing ones, and bought the one I shouldn't have. I also sold the one I should've kept. I feel I've either put my beloved pets down too late, making them suffer unnecessarily or, conversely, too early, robbing them of life. I cut my hair and wished I hadn't; now I'm letting it grow knowing it's not a good look. Then I have regrets about relationships and how they ended or, on the other end of the spectrum, went on way too long. Etc.
I could go on; it's obviously a pattern.
Retelling the latest debacle, my relative asked, "Why do you always make the wrong decision?"
That's the question!
Easy solution: make a decision and do the opposite.
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