Dating profile pictures... what works and what doesn't? (girlfriends, girls, love)
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I kind of took another thread off on a tangent and though it might be best to start a new one.
In that thread, a gentleman and I are debating about the merits and flaws of a putting pictures of you with the opposite sex in online dating profile pictures. I think it's a bad idea because 1) usually people don't ask permission to post other people's pictures to these sites--and that's tactless. 2) In a group, you have to try and figure out which one is the person from the profile. and 3) specifically to the tangent I was on, posting pictures of yourself with members of the opposite sex can send the wrong message (you are a player or you are in a picture with your ex and your ex's friends). It might not turn someone away, but I don't think it brings any benefit. For me, if I am on the fence, it might make me decide to contact someone else instead.
Anyway, what are your dating profile picture pet peeves and likes? What works and what doesn't for you?
As I mentioned, I don't care for group shots. But I think you can take shots that show you are social without hamming it up with others and that's a good thing. Take a look here at the shot under "medium well" The Most Successful Online Dating Profile Photos Revealed - eHarmony Advice See how you can see she's social, with a group... but it's not a pose with a group and you don't see other people's faces? That's what I mean.
But my biggest pet peeve is the bathroom mirror selfie though... ugh... get a friend to take your picture or if you have to. It screams anti-social and lonely and can be a complete turn off. If you don't have any friends at all... work on getting some first, before you start dating.
My favorite shots are 2 fold. For the main profile shot, like a nice, clean face shot (no hats, looking down, hiding your face, etc). I want to see what you look like so I can figure out who you are when we meet! I also like a body shot so, again, I know what you look like (no, you don't need to show your abs... just a nice shot of you in causal clothes in a nice setting). I also tend to like to see pictures of the person doing what they like and a funny picture always goes a long way. I asked one man on a date because he posted a funny picture of himself acting "afraid" of one of those tree faces people use as yard art.
Selfie - Absolutely ridiculous. You better be really hot or I'm not going to talk to you.
Pics with guys - Probably let it slide, however I'm going to probably think you're an attention wh*re
Pics with other girls - For god's sake, be better looking than your friend. If not, crop her out. I'm not going to message the ugly one.
End of the day - You surely have a picture of yourself doing SOMETHING where you don't have to take your own pic or you don't have people surrounding you. If not, crop is an easy tool to use.
I should have brought up weird themes too... maybe that can be a tangent to this tangent thread.
I've seen more pictures of men on the backs of camels in front of the Great Pyramids than I can think of. I mean, it's a pretty common shot for something so obscure. There is nothing wrong with it at all. It's a good idea and an interesting picture--but it's a weird that it's such a common picture/theme. Is going to the Great Pyramids some kind of secret right of passage for men? Or maybe they are all secretly members of the Illuminati! lol It's all the exact same shot, so it's got to be some kind of tourist stop where they put people on the back of a camel and take a picture.
Another theme I see in men's profiles that I think is odd are the scenery shots. no people at all.. just lots and lots of pretty pictures of sunsets, beaches, mountains, etc. I always wonder the reason behind posting them. I mean, they are nice pictures and all, but I can't see where that helps with dating. In fact, it reminds me of looking at someone's vacation photos or something
Another theme I see in men's profiles that I think is odd are the scenery shots. no people at all.. just lots and lots of pretty pictures of sunsets, beaches, mountains, etc. I always wonder the reason behind posting them. I mean, they are nice pictures and all, but I can't see where that helps with dating. In fact, it reminds me of looking at someone's vacation photos or something
Wtf? guys do that? Are you sure you're not accidentally looking up the gay section?
I'm surprised a lot of people have been to Egypt. I think that's pretty cool though. Girls with travel pics always get my attention.
BAD - bathroom or car selfies, old photos, ( more than 3 years ) photos of your kids , no smile , tongue sticking out,
Weird Halloween costume photos with a mask on , excessive cleavage , no pets
Good - current pics , more than one, at least one current full body shot, smile please ( show some teeth )
I found that I have the greatest success when my pictures demonstrate certain aspects of my personality. For example, one of mine is a shot of me at the Four Seasons in Las Vegas, and I have the bone of what was a perfect porterhouse steak in my mouth (caveman style). It's not a GQ shot to say the least, but I feel like it shows I have a sense of humor. The response to said pic has been overwhelmingly positive and I think it does the job.
The other two are: outdoor pic (wearing a hat and shades because I'm as light sensitive as a mole) and the ubiquitous workplace bathroom selfie. The selfie is my least favorite, but I've been told it looks good so I leave it up. I'm normally behind the camera so I really can't find many shots of just me (most are with my kids and that's an absolute no-no for me!).
Wtf? guys do that? Are you sure you're not accidentally looking up the gay section?
I'm surprised a lot of people have been to Egypt. I think that's pretty cool though. Girls with travel pics always get my attention.
I don't pretend to understand it... it just is what it is. Maybe it's something indicative of the type of personality I end up searching for online. Who knows.
And yeah, that's exactly what I mean about Egypt. It's cool, but knew it was so popular! I don't have many travel pics... I mean, I do, but they within the US (I haven't been out of the country in 10 years). I am planning on going to Hawaii this summer (still US though) maybe in another year I will go to Ireland... then I will have my "travel pics"
I found that I have the greatest success when my pictures demonstrate certain aspects of my personality. For example, one of mine is a shot of me at the Four Seasons in Las Vegas, and I have the bone of what was a perfect porterhouse steak in my mouth (caveman style). It's not a GQ shot to say the least, but I feel like it shows I have a sense of humor. The response to said pic has been overwhelmingly positive and I think it does the job.
The other two are: outdoor pic (wearing a hat and shades because I'm as light sensitive as a mole) and the ubiquitous workplace bathroom selfie. The selfie is my least favorite, but I've been told it looks good so I leave it up. I'm normally behind the camera so I really can't find many shots of just me (most are with my kids and that's an absolute no-no for me!).
--Dim
I hear you about the outside pics. My eyes are light gray and really sensitive to the sun--darn Nordic lineage! lol It stinks because I think outdoor/natural light looks best in a picture (better than a flash) but if I am not wearing sunglasses, I am squinting horribly to the point of my eyes almost being shut. Luckily, I had a friend take a really nice picture of me in a cocktail dress at a professional mixer and it looks great. I cropped it as a head and shoulders profile shot.
I would have responded to your steak shot too... I almost always respond to funny pictures (even if it's just to say, I love the shot).
I hate when girls take those photos of themselves pouting, shot from an angle where they are holding the camera upward, and all you see are duck lips and cleavage and their full body is cut off so they look much thinner in photos.... I had friends who had those photos and wondered why all the dudes they met either made an excuse to leave right away or wanted FWB / ONS situations as opposed to a relationship. I have had many girlfriends bawl over how they're treated and part of it is the vibe they're putting out there with photos.
Some of mine when I did online dating were probably considered no-no photos like a picture of myself fishing in the Dominican Republic with this huge fish I had caught and a shot of me playing adult softball. I shared it to show myself doing something I enjoyed, but I have been told by other girls that girls with fish are unattractive?
I didn't include pictures with friends or a picture of me with my cat since neither of them could give consent.
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