My boyfriend wants me out!

[adjusterjack]

Originally Posted by anniekim

A couple of months ago me and my boyfriend both signed an apt lease which has both of our names on it. A few days ago i discovered he was cheating on me with another woman! Were not legally married and have no kids but he presented an ultimatum where he said, you gotta leave or we both leave because i aint moving! You cant kick me out even though you caught me redhanded since you dont own the apartment! You move or we both move! These were his exact words. In this case since we both signed the lease who has to leave and who gets to stay? We live here in houston, tx. Can anyone offer me some legal advice here please?

Former landlord here. My position when I had roommate tenants:

You are both on the lease. You are both jointly and severally (google it) liable for the rent and any damage to the premises. Your personal issues are your business, I don't care as long as the rent gets paid. You leave and he stays, you are both still liable. No, I won't sign anything relieving you of your obligations. No, you won't be getting your half of the deposit back from me until the lease expires and the premises are returned to me in acceptable condition. If, months after you move out, he defaults, the eviction lawsuit will have both your names on it and I'll be coming after both of you.

THAT is why you NEVER move in with boyfriends (or girlfriends). Frankly, same goes for any roommate situations. They can turn into nightmares real fast.

[staystill]

Originally Posted by staystill

You signed a lease agreement with him and your landlord you are financially obligated to pay your half of the rent. You will be responsible for your half of the rent even if you move out.

This is why he said either you move or both of you move. See he knows full well if he leaves and you stay he will be taken to court for not paying his half of the rent even though he moves out. He knows exactly what he is doing. He hopes you move out and he has the apartment all to himself without having to pay the full amount himself. If the landlord tries to go after him he has the lease showing you are responsible for you half not him.

Check with your landlord or management Company to find out if you can be taken off the lease and make an addendum to the original lease removing you from any financial obligation to rent payments. You probably won't be allowed to because the landlord wants all of the rent not just your dirty rat ex-boyfriends half.

Remember to keep all records of what you paid for such as furniture, utilities, rents, security deposit. If he takes you to court you will need all proof of payments you made.

If your landlord will not make an addendum for you to be removed from the lease and have you no longer responsible for your half of the rent then you tell dirty rat ex-boyfriend he moves out with you.

If you can live with your parents and save up all your money if you can. Invest your money you save up and if you should ever be able to buy a home of your own without a husband make sure your deed has your name only and have state "an unmarried woman". This should help protect you if you ever play house again and the next one tries to take your home by marrying you.

Please learn your lesson and don't play house with an intimate significant other. You really should not live with friends either. It's not a good idea to be financially tied to anyone you are not married to or related to like your parents.

I hope you learned your lesson.

Originally Posted by djsuperfly

Um...no. That's not how any of this works. Both parties to the lease have joint and several liability--meaning they are BOTH responsible for making sure 100% of the rent is paid, not that he's responsible for half and she's responsible for half. If she moves out the LL doesn't suddenly get paid half rent.

Yes I thank you I know what the landlord expects and that is why I explained why he will not leave unless she goes with him. I explained he knows she can take him to court for his half if he doesn't pay. He can take her to court if she doesn't pay even if she moves out. Why? because obviously the landlord expects his full rental amount due and owed. I thought that was obvious but I guess not. Especially when he made it clear he will not be responsible for the full amount, hence her half, to make it the full amount and he won't pay his half if he isn't living there. If the landlord comes after him if he stays, which he made clear he won't, he will have to take her to court for her part of the rent, that will be her half and vice versa if she will be stuck for the rent and not have the full amount which means she will have to take him to court for his half. I never said it was about the landlord expecting the full amount as she was already told what the landlord expects. I do agree with you yes the landlord expects the full amount regardless of who is still living there but that means nothing to her since she is, I assume so young, and doesn't know what to do. Her bet is what she has already been told get out with him together but they need to talk to the landlord about the lease. This is why I never cared to rent to young couples playing house.

[PhinneyWalker]

The OP has already been fully advised on this. I do not see anything that has not been covered by one or more responders. OP has never come back to the thread, either. Time this thread was put to bed if you ask me.

[Bette]

Originally Posted by 1200RT

If you're both on the lease.... you're both on the lease. You both have a right to the space. Whats the question?

You are both liable - for the whole amount if the other does not pay.

[staystill]

Originally Posted by PhinneyWalker

The OP has already been fully advised on this. I do not see anything that has not been covered by one or more responders. OP has never come back to the thread, either. Time this thread was put to bed if you ask me.

agreed. No response as of yet. She may very well be busy with trying to get out of the lease or packing with him to go their separate ways without the hassle of being brought to court and having credit problems added to everything else. I hope she has parents for a parent to stay with and save up her money while she can. If she does I bet she spends it all on the next boyfriend to keep him happy and not cheat on her like this one did.

[gizmo980]

Originally Posted by PhinneyWalker

Please consider that what I am about to say is from the viewpoint of a golden oldie, so I realise a lot of young people today may not agree with my viewpoint. If you do not have a legal commitment, i.e. marriage, with a man, then you should not be living together. Marriage gives you legal protections that you do not have if you are just living together. Why give everything you have in this world, including your body, to someone who is not interested in marrying you, not interested in a lifetime commitment to you, not interested in building a life together founded on marriage? You are just being used. I have news for you, too, he will do this to the other woman at some point, too.

My best advice is to get out into an apartment of your own, and do not live unmarried with a man again. You are worth the commitment to marriage, but if you do not believe it, neither will he. Good luck.

OP is gone now (not a member), but this is more than just an "old-fashioned" attitude - it's kind of a stupid and offensive one, to put it bluntly. My mother is in her 70s, and absolutely 100% encouraged all of us (3 kids) to live with our significant others before marrying. Matter of fact, she has done it herself with two men post-divorce. Living with someone is WAY different from dating, and it's incredibly risky to commit legally with marriage before knowing if you're compatible housemates. Just imagine, for a moment, that OP had caught her HUSBAND cheating and had to divorce + move. Wouldn't that be much more complicated than their actual situation?

This isn't about morality, religion, commitment, or self-worth; and most people have sex without marriage these days, so the whole giving of one's body thing is also kinda silly in modern context. It's a practical matter, really. Marriage is a contract, and much more complicated to terminate than a non-legal commitment. My mother, for example, isn't going to legally marry her current beau - if she does, they lose half of their income (since she gets my late father's SS even though they were divorced). So they just live together in her house, and call each other husband and wife without the paperwork.

I'm a middle-aged woman, for the record, and couldn't care less about marriage or babies. Can't really do the latter anymore anyway, lol. So why wouldn't I "test the waters" by living with a man before even considering a legal commitment? You speak as though all women want that title of Mrs, which is the only part of your comment I would call old-fashioned.