5th grader student's behavior while being suspended. Where are the parents? Sheesh! (arrested, IEP)

[germaine2626]

With all that news about the teen in Texas who killed four people while drunk driving and not receiving any real punishment I decided to share this story.

First of all, like all teachers, I need to be careful what I say due to confidentiality, so I'm changing details while keeping the important points of the story. If you are somehow able to figure out who I am please don't get me in trouble. Thanks. Also, part of this is what the student told me so it may or may not be entirely true (although, I suspect the child was telling it exactly like it happened).

L-O-N-G story short, a fifth grade girl injured a sub teacher, and it appeared to be intentional. Ironically, the police had already been called to the school for a different issue regarding the same student. Mom was called and was irate that the school was "picking on" her Special Snowflake. SS was suspended for several days. When she returned, I was with her part of the day as a 1 to 1 substitute aide/assistant.

Special Snowflake explained in great detail to me everything that she did while she had been suspended from school. Her parents bought her new videogames so she wouldn't be "bored" at home. She said that when she wasn't watching TV or playing videogames she was on the phone to her friends (one happened to be suspended at the same time and the others she talked to at night). I asked her if her parents "took anything away from her" (ie. gave her consequences for being suspended) and the child couldn't even understand my question.

The 5th grader kept asking me "If I do X will I get suspended again?" or "If I do Y will I get suspended again?", "If I hurt you, too, will they suspend me?", "I had so much fun at home that I want to get suspended from school as soon as I can." "My mom and dad are SO MAD at the school for suspending me, because I did nothing wrong." I don't know why the police were called to school but obviously it must have been something pretty serious.

Sheesh! Obviously, at home suspension didn't work the way it was supposed to in this case. Where were those parents? Or more accurately, what were they thinking? Buying her new videogames, letting her use the phone and watch TV all day? ??

While, I didn't have any big problems with this student, I had the experiences of 30 plus years of teaching special education to draw upon and 8 inches and 100 plus pounds on her all of which was helpful. (I rarely enjoy being overweight, but at times, it can make me become a "pretty large, immoveable object" and a disruptive student will think twice before starting a fight with me)

Unless something is done to correct Special Snowflakes path I worry that I will be reading her name on the front page of our local newspaper.

This situation was on my mind and I just wanted to share it with others. I wonder if this is how the teen in Texas started out?

[longnecker]

I hope that the sub teacher has apologized to snowflake and her parents!! Seriously not knowing what the first problem was it is hard to judge mom's attitude. But once her little darling hit the teacher I don't think a few days suspension was enough. In my area she would have spent some time in a special school.

[HappyTexan]

Kids feel the same way at the schools I sub in as well.
We see the suspended kids show up at the edge of the school grounds when recess is in session and we have to watch our kids that they don't leave the property.

The kids with chronic problems view suspension as a day off.
Some even stage actions so they can get suspended together and be able to hang out.

You can't fix this though. One can only deal with what is given to them and operate within the rules.

[germaine2626]

Originally Posted by longnecker

I hope that the sub teacher has apologized to snowflake and her parents!! Seriously not knowing what the first problem was it is hard to judge mom's attitude. But once her little darling hit the teacher I don't think a few days suspension was enough. In my area she would have spent some time in a special school.

I know that you are being sarcastic but I'm not sure if everyone else realizes that.

Special Snowflake said that "My dad gave me permission to call Mrs (name of sub) 'a stupid, f******* slu*' the next time that I see her." I pointed out to SS that even if Dad said that it was OK, those were not appropriate words to call anyone in school, especially a teacher.

[Everdeen]

In my district, we have RPC's - Required Parent Conferences. If a student's behavior is such that the parents must have a conference with the school, students are not allowed to return to school until the conference is held. The exception is very serious cases or maybe with the worst repeat offenders; then it can go to immediate suspension.

Before I was a teacher and my oldest was still in school, he was RPC'd twice, once in middle school and once in high school, and they were legitimate reasons. However, I was a working, single mother and could not supervise him adequately. I knew my son and knew that unsupervised time at home would be a reward for him. Even if I could be home with him, for that child, getting out of school was worth any punishment I could dish out (he realized long ago that I could/would not beat him to within an inch of his life). Both times I hauled him up to the school as early as the school opened, to conference with the dean and get him back in school ASAP. This does not really go over well. Usually the routine is: Student goes home with paperwork. Parent calls school to get appointment with dean. Parent and student wait a couple of days until there's an opening. I had to argue with the admin, but ultimately, I got him back in school that day and, of course, dealt with his behavior at home.

I know my situation was different. I certainly would not have rewarded my son with video games and such, but by sheer virtue of being home, his poor behavior would have been rewarded and reinforced.

FYI, he's grown to be a wonderful man who I am happy to know (it was iffy for a few years there ).

[CraigCreek]

Was in-school suspension not an option? Our local public schools have this - kids who are given such suspension are sent to what amounts to a small classroom study hall, where they must do just that: study, while being supervised one-on-one. They do not attend regular classes or any extracurricular school activities during this time. I think their lunches are brought to them, and they have supervised bathroom breaks. Otherwise, they must sit and study.

Far better than being turned loose at home under the negligible - or non-existent- supervision of such parents as the OP describes.

[germaine2626]

Originally Posted by CraigCreek

Was in-school suspension not an option? Our local public schools have this - kids who are given such suspension are sent to what amounts to a small classroom study hall, where they must do just that: study, while being supervised one-on-one. They do not attend regular classes or any extracurricular school activities during this time. I think their lunches are brought to them, and they have supervised bathroom breaks. Otherwise, they must sit and study.

Far better than being turned loose at home under the negligible - or non-existent- supervision of such parents as the OP describes.

Our district used to have in school suspension, at the MS & HS, but it got too expensive. There may not be anyone suspended for days or weeks at a time but they always had to have a staff member and a room available. At the elementary level months and months sometimes go by without any suspensions at all. And when a special education student is suspended there are legal ramifications if the suspension is in school instead of out of school (how many days before an IEP and/or placement must be changed, etc).

In this case, although the student was suspended, the parents were so angry at the school, for suspending DD, that they kept her out for an extra week, after the actual suspension. Now that I think about it more, I suspect that is why they bought her new videogames and new toys, as the parents probably were tired of keeping her busy at home.

PS. Regarding the in school suspension. I was being too optimistic when I said no one suspended for "days or weeks at a time". It was more because of the variations, a few days zero students, the next few days four students, then maybe back to zero or up to six students. Most of the wide variation was at the MS level. At the HS we now have a full time police officer so sometimes the student would get a ticket or actually be handcuffed & arrested (if over 18) instead of what may be something that a student would be suspended for in another HS. Also, having an armed police officer in the building dramatically cut down on the fights and other things that lead to suspensions.

[Everdeen]

We have In-House Suspension as well, but it's not appropriate for all offenses. Definitely the OP's student would not qualify and our district doesn't have it at all for elementary age students.

In my district there are often too many students, in some schools, that are in trouble and In-House becomes way too crowded with students. It's only a viable options for a few students at a time.

[longnecker]

Originally Posted by germaine2626

I know that you are being sarcastic but I'm not sure if everyone else realizes that.

I do have a dry sense of humor.If anyone read the whole post I would hope they would realize the first sentence was sarcasm.

[nana053]

Our middle school does in school suspension by sending the students to the jr. high campus instead of their own campus. It worked for my granddaughter the one time she had it because she was kind of scared to be with all those 7th and 8th graders (she was in 5th grade).