Help With a Kid That Won’t Do Her Work (assessment, assignments)

[ADHDad]

My daughter is almost ten.. and...

My daughter... won’t do it.

When I say she won’t do it, I mean... she won’t do it. I have tried to come up with every reason... I have worked with the teachers in her school... she had been tested (and it turned up negative) for learning disabilities. And still she won’t do it. Not any of it.

This has been the case from when she was in the most formative of years. Preschool, when she was asked to do class work, she just... didn’t do it. Not pouty, not silly... just not at all.

When asked to read, she will open a book and turn pages, and even pretend to move her finger across the page and is actually only pretending to read. She puts more effort in to not working than to do the work itself...

And she has fallen so far behind the class...

She did do an assessment for ADHD, and that came up positive. She takes her medication and the teachers seem to have a plan on dealing with her... but it hasn’t resulted in her doing it, as she still doesn’t turn in completed homework, doesn’t do her class work, won’t read...

This attitude is even at a core social level. She has difficulty making friends, keeping friends. She is sweet, good sense of humor, kind... but she just won’t do it...

And I don’t know what to do. Do I eliminate every possible distraction? The soccer team that she won’t try to play (lost on the field)? Do I sit her down and make her finish her work (she’ll stare at the paper for hours and not do any of it) do I try to do it with her? (She’ll just echo my words and try to get me to do it for her)...

I know I’m doing something wrong.... but I don’t know what to do. Is it too late?

What can I do? Change? Help with?

Thanks...

[hunterseat]

Here's my answer. Do it. except she provides the answer. Take away the requirement for her to read and write and see if she responds. In short, oral assignments.
There's something going on here. My son has an expressive writing disorder and once said writing (the mechanics - he was fine on a computer) felt as unnatural to him as running over a dog in a car.
You might seek more in depth testing. Kids don't desire to fail/lose.
I hope you'll consider a nutritional approach to the adhd. Why drug them to counteract the effects of what we feed them?
Does she listen when you read her stories? Does she watch movies? What are her interests?
Is there something traumatic that's happened? Where's her mom?

[Oldhag1]

You need to take her to a competent pediatrician and ask whether she needs a referral to someone who specializes in child development or some other pediatric speciality that is related, schools only test for LEARNING disabilities and that has been ruled out. Unless you are leaving something out, what you are describing is not typical of solely ADD/ADHD behavior, but there are several other disorders which also fall under the OHI (other health impairment) umbrella that it does typify - I am not saying she has any of those, only that you need to rule it out. The school will most likely be hesitant to suggest it, no matter how much they want to, for fear they will be seen as asking for it, thus potentially responsible for the cost as opposed to medical insurance, so I am going to do it for them. Please make the appointment, if you get a diagnosis the school will be able to help your child better.

[ClaraC]

Can she read, do you know?

Does she sometimes read for pleasure, write for pleasure, at home?

Is it just academic stuff she won't do, or will she not do pretty much ANYTHING requested of her? Wash her hair? Pick up her socks?

FWIW, I didn't do a single thing in second grade. Not one single thing. Looking back, it's because it was so intensely boring. And because my second grade teacher was too lazy to do anything about it. Then I got a 3rd grade teacher who wouldn't allow me to not participate. Maybe she needs a teacher who can get through to her and not accept "nothing"?

[turkeydance]

agree with ClaraC: but with a twist.
what DOES she do without asking?
1. eat? eat what? when? how much?
2. stay online? why? what sites?
3. play with a pet/friend/toy?

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by ClaraC

Can she read, do you know?

Does she sometimes read for pleasure, write for pleasure, at home?

Is it just academic stuff she won't do, or will she not do pretty much ANYTHING requested of her? Wash her hair? Pick up her socks?

FWIW, I didn't do a single thing in second grade. Not one single thing. Looking back, it's because it was so intensely boring. And because my second grade teacher was too lazy to do anything about it. Then I got a 3rd grade teacher who wouldn't allow me to not participate. Maybe she needs a teacher who can get through to her and not accept "nothing"?

This is what I was thinking. Maybe she needs a different type of school, where teachers approach things differently.

Some kids drop out of the education process very early, because they're not challenged; the material is too easy, and they don't see the point. OP, has anyone actually talked to her, to ask her why she won't read or do homework?

[StealthRabbit]

Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth

This is what I was thinking. Maybe she needs a different type of school, where teachers approach things differently.

Some kids drop out of the education process very early, because they're not challenged; the material is too easy, and they don't see the point. OP, has anyone actually talked to her, to ask her why she won't read or do homework?

Or an 'un-school'. (At 'school', or any of hundreds of options, maybe several!)

There are many effective learning styles and deliveries.

Sitting for hours in a classroom (during daylight on nice spring days), with a herd (swarm) of people your own age clustered around you seems like a pretty ridiculous model for conveying valuable learning's!

Find her talents, get her engaged in those areas she can add value (to the life of others).

No... the world does NOT revolve around her. (Surprise).
When she finds this out, and lives through the consequences, she may develop a broader perspective.

Yes... 2nd grade is a bit young to be 'drugging' due to a perceived motivation / attention problem. I can think of a few thousand things I would have rather been doing than sitting in a classroom. Most of those things would have been far better for me, and a better use of time (Teacher, parent, and my own time).

One of ours was a late bloomer. 15+ yrs AFTER college he is a mighty achiever (as has been the case since ~ age 10). hint... He REALLY liked to PLAY, and still does! And is very effective at work, home, play. Great quality of life... no drugs.

[DontH8Me]

ADHD is a mental disorder. It can be helped with counseling and medication. You haven't given a whole lot of detail here, OP, on what she actually does do. You mentioned that she had been tested for LDs, and it was negative. That tells me that your daughter was responsive to the tests the school gave her. Her issue appears to be behavioral, not cognitive. The school's behaviorist can do their job and do some assessments on your daughter and come up with a behavior intervention plan. They should be working closely with you, her family, for an approach that will be applied in both the classroom and outside of school.

[TabulaRasa]

Where was the ADHD assessment done, and how was it conducted? Who went over the results with you?

[Ruth4Truth]

Has anyone asked this child why she doesn't participate in school, or why she doesn't want to learn? What does she say about school? Has there been any change or improvement, since she started taking meds for ADHD? Maybe she feels so far behind the class level, that she feels overwhelmed, and like she'll never be able to catch up....? Has a parent tried, at any stage, to read with her at home?

More info needed. OP has gone AWOL from the thread.