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The suburbs might be a good place to raise a family and such, but here's a catch. It may not be glamorous, especially for young, single bachelors. Here's a few reasons why I hate living in the suburbs:
1) Houses... Houses everywhere
The suburbs is nothing but an endless sea of look-alike cookie cutter homes. The houses look interesting
2) Lack of decent entertainment
Adding to point #1, there's hardly anything going on in the suburbs. Occasionally, you might see a Wal-Mart or a McDonalds, but that's about it in terms of entertainment. I don't think anyone goes to those places on a daily basis.
3) There's no one around
You hardly see anyone walking around the neighborhood. I'm not counting people who goes on the driveway to get in their cars, doing yardwork, or checking the mail. You can go for days and not see a single soul anywhere. It feels like a ghost town.
4) Hard to meet new people and make friends.
In the suburbs, most people are married and have families. They tend to have a close social circle and prefer not to interact with anyone outside their clique. Plus they have busy lives which consists of working, raising children and watching T.V. Just like with point #3, there's no one around which makes it hard to meet new people and make friends.
5) Lack of dating options.
Most of the women in the suburbs are married middle age women or retired grandmas collecting social security. There's hardly any young single women in my age bracket (in the 18-30 range). They don't hang out in the burbs. They hang out in the Urban core or around colleges.
6) Too far from everything.
I live in an area with a population between 200k to 300k. It takes me about 20 minutes to get to the Downtown area where the young singles hang out. Once in a while I like to drive but I prefer to walk. Plus, parking is hard to find. The nazis that run the city overcharges you for parking, or you end up with an expensive parking ticket.
7) Too quiet.
The suburbs are too quiet. When I hear a car pass by or a dog that suddenly barks, it feels like a bomb went off in the middle of the night. Anyone who's been in the military probably knows what I'm talking about.
8) Did I mention it's only for married people with children?
The suburbs are great if you're married and have children. But for me I'm not that impressed with the suburbs. I'd rather live in the city, or only within a few blocks. I recommend young single guys who wants an active dating and social life to invest in a condo in the city rather than a luxury home in the burbs.
In the suburbs, most people are married and have families. They tend to have a close social circle and prefer not to interact with anyone outside their clique. Plus they have busy lives which consists of working, raising children and watching T.V. Just like with point #3, there's no one around which makes it hard to meet new people and make friends.
5) Lack of dating options.
Most of the women in the suburbs are married middle age women or retired grandmas collecting social security. There's hardly any young single women in my age bracket (in the 18-30 range). They don't hang out in the burbs. They hang out in the Urban core or around colleges.
Yes. Why are you there? The suburbs are not for your demographic. Move and return in 15 years with a husband, 2 kids and a dog.
After college, when I was single, I lived in an urban area in an apartment. After I got married, we moved to the 'burbs, because we knew we did not want to raise kids in an urban area, but instead wanted to raise them in the 'burbs with a large yard. Now that my kids are adults, 2 of 3 live in urban areas. The other one did as well for a few years, but got tired of expensive, confined apartment living and moved to a house with a yard in the 'burbs.
The suburbs might be a good place to raise a family and such, but here's a catch. It may not be glamorous, especially for young, single bachelors. Here's a few reasons why I hate living in the suburbs:
1) Houses... Houses everywhere
The suburbs is nothing but an endless sea of look-alike cookie cutter homes. The houses look interesting
2) Lack of decent entertainment
Adding to point #1, there's hardly anything going on in the suburbs. Occasionally, you might see a Wal-Mart or a McDonalds, but that's about it in terms of entertainment. I don't think anyone goes to those places on a daily basis.
3) There's no one around
You hardly see anyone walking around the neighborhood. I'm not counting people who goes on the driveway to get in their cars, doing yardwork, or checking the mail. You can go for days and not see a single soul anywhere. It feels like a ghost town.
4) Hard to meet new people and make friends.
In the suburbs, most people are married and have families. They tend to have a close social circle and prefer not to interact with anyone outside their clique. Plus they have busy lives which consists of working, raising children and watching T.V. Just like with point #3, there's no one around which makes it hard to meet new people and make friends.
5) Lack of dating options.
Most of the women in the suburbs are married middle age women or retired grandmas collecting social security. There's hardly any young single women in my age bracket (in the 18-30 range). They don't hang out in the burbs. They hang out in the Urban core or around colleges.
6) Too far from everything.
I live in an area with a population between 200k to 300k. It takes me about 20 minutes to get to the Downtown area where the young singles hang out. Once in a while I like to drive but I prefer to walk. Plus, parking is hard to find. The nazis that run the city overcharges you for parking, or you end up with an expensive parking ticket.
7) Too quiet.
The suburbs are too quiet. When I hear a car pass by or a dog that suddenly barks, it feels like a bomb went off in the middle of the night. Anyone who's been in the military probably knows what I'm talking about.
8) Did I mention it's only for married people with children?
The suburbs are great if you're married and have children. But for me I'm not that impressed with the suburbs. I'd rather live in the city, or only within a few blocks. I recommend young single guys who wants an active dating and social life to invest in a condo in the city rather than a luxury home in the burbs.
Well, that's a great post full of stereotypes. Reading your conclusion, I think you should move to the city. However, let me address the points.
1) Most burbs have significant amounts of multi-family housing. Yes, they're primarily, but not exclusively, residential.
2) Virtually all burbs have restaurants; most bigger than a few thousand people have movie theaters, bars, swimming pools, recreation centers and the like. Lots have malls.
3) Maybe in your burb, not in mine.
4) It's always hard to meet people and make friends in adulthood. If you don't make good friends at work, try signing up for a sports team, or doing volunteer work. It's insulting to say that suburbanites are always watching TV in their spare time. What do city people do?
5) I have said that most of the single women in my town are single mothers. Yes, it's probably harder to meet women of your age in the burbs, unless there are some big gathering places around.
6) Your size city doesn't sound too big to be walkable, or at least bikeable.
The suburbs might be a good place to raise a family and such, but here's a catch. It may not be glamorous, especially for young, single bachelors. Here's a few reasons why I hate living in the suburbs:
1) Houses... Houses everywhere
The suburbs is nothing but an endless sea of look-alike cookie cutter homes. The houses look interesting
2) Lack of decent entertainment
Adding to point #1, there's hardly anything going on in the suburbs. Occasionally, you might see a Wal-Mart or a McDonalds, but that's about it in terms of entertainment. I don't think anyone goes to those places on a daily basis.
3) There's no one around
You hardly see anyone walking around the neighborhood. I'm not counting people who goes on the driveway to get in their cars, doing yardwork, or checking the mail. You can go for days and not see a single soul anywhere. It feels like a ghost town.
4) Hard to meet new people and make friends.
In the suburbs, most people are married and have families. They tend to have a close social circle and prefer not to interact with anyone outside their clique. Plus they have busy lives which consists of working, raising children and watching T.V. Just like with point #3, there's no one around which makes it hard to meet new people and make friends.
5) Lack of dating options.
Most of the women in the suburbs are married middle age women or retired grandmas collecting social security. There's hardly any young single women in my age bracket (in the 18-30 range). They don't hang out in the burbs. They hang out in the Urban core or around colleges.
6) Too far from everything.
I live in an area with a population between 200k to 300k. It takes me about 20 minutes to get to the Downtown area where the young singles hang out. Once in a while I like to drive but I prefer to walk. Plus, parking is hard to find. The nazis that run the city overcharges you for parking, or you end up with an expensive parking ticket.
7) Too quiet.
The suburbs are too quiet. When I hear a car pass by or a dog that suddenly barks, it feels like a bomb went off in the middle of the night. Anyone who's been in the military probably knows what I'm talking about.
8) Did I mention it's only for married people with children?
The suburbs are great if you're married and have children. But for me I'm not that impressed with the suburbs. I'd rather live in the city, or only within a few blocks. I recommend young single guys who wants an active dating and social life to invest in a condo in the city rather than a luxury home in the burbs.
I hate the suburbs too, but there's certainly more entertainment options than what you described. How about the movie theater or sports games?
The suburbs might be a good place to raise a family and such, but here's a catch. It may not be glamorous, especially for young, single bachelors.
There is your problem right there. The suburbs are NOT MADE for single people. They are made for "married with children" people.
Your points, to wit:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevdawgg
1) Houses... Houses everywhere
The suburbs is nothing but an endless sea of look-alike cookie cutter homes. The houses (don't) look interesting
They are built that way for economies of scale.
The cure for that is....time. Over the next few decades, rooms and houses will be modified, landscapes changed.
Besides, you as a single person are not likely into gardening or remodeling.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevdawgg
2) Lack of decent entertainment
Adding to point #1, there's hardly anything going on in the suburbs. Occasionally, you might see a Wal-Mart or a McDonalds, but that's about it in terms of entertainment. I don't think anyone goes to those places on a daily basis.
This is not surprising. The areas are for raising children, so they tend to be kiddie friendly and bland, entertainment wise.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevdawgg
3) There's no one around
You hardly see anyone walking around the neighborhood. I'm not counting people who goes on the driveway to get in their cars, doing yardwork, or checking the mail. You can go for days and not see a single soul anywhere. It feels like a ghost town.
Sadly, this HAS changed over time, probably due to fears of crime. It used to be that kids would play much more spontaneously out on the lawns and cul-de-sac streets of the burbs. Now all "play dates" seem to be structured and supervised, indoors or in backyards or on defined ballparks.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevdawgg
4) Hard to meet new people and make friends.
In the suburbs, most people are married and have families. They tend to have a close social circle and prefer not to interact with anyone outside their clique. Plus they have busy lives which consists of working, raising children and watching T.V. Just like with point #3, there's no one around which makes it hard to meet new people and make friends.
5) Lack of dating options.
Most of the women in the suburbs are married middle age women or retired grandmas collecting social security. There's hardly any young single women in my age bracket (in the 18-30 range). They don't hang out in the burbs. They hang out in the Urban core or around colleges.
Hence the rise of internet dating. Not only for the singles stuck in the burbs, but also for the divorcees.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevdawgg
6) Too far from everything.
I live in an area with a population between 200k to 300k. It takes me about 20 minutes to get to the Downtown area where the young singles hang out. Once in a while I like to drive but I prefer to walk. Plus, parking is hard to find. The nazis that run the city overcharges you for parking, or you end up with an expensive parking ticket.
And there is a reason for that. The residential burbs are set back from commercial or industrial areas again for child safety reasons.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevdawgg
7) Too quiet.
The suburbs are too quiet. When I hear a car pass by or a dog that suddenly barks, it feels like a bomb went off in the middle of the night. Anyone who's been in the military probably knows what I'm talking about.
Again, that is deliberate. The adult partying crowd, whooping it up, is potentially disturbing to the kiddies and definitely disturbing to the working stiffs gearing up for the next working day.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevdawgg
8) Did I mention it's only for married people with children?
The suburbs are great if you're married and have children. But for me I'm not that impressed with the suburbs. I'd rather live in the city, or only within a few blocks. I recommend young single guys who wants an active dating and social life to invest in a condo in the city rather than a luxury home in the burbs.
But what happens when you meet your mate and want to settle down? Back to those suburbs you will want to go.
Giving you and others here enough to read (or at least peruse) but you may well still find it worth reading in its entirety to give you a glance at how my own views changed over the course of time as to the issue of living in the inner city versus living in the suburbs (for I was just like you in my own views on this issue and even held your views well into my upper-middle-aged years):
I'm a male in my low 60s now (and, though having had varied relationships and love in life to whatever degree in my life history to-date, I’m presently single and with no children in or out of marriage). I’d felt the same way as you express here about suburban living (by-and-large) through all my youth and into my middle-aged years and even perhaps getting toward my upper-middle-aged years. I was a city/urban person at heart and was usually wary of spending time (beyond a modicum) visiting my parents (both deceased now) in their far-flung remote suburban home out in Suffolk County, Long Island, New York State, USA. In fact, I myself didn't even grow up in that home (I was raised with them in the city; they acquired that home on their own after I'd left home to live on my own). Most often, I would visit them out in Suffolk County, Long Island, New York without a car of my own at my avail by using public transit and a taxicab or having them pick me up somewhere in their car and then us all going back to their remote home (not counting the times when I did visit and stay with them with a car when I did happen to own a car) and would feel stranded out there and wholly dependent on them to do anything out there or get around at all. I felt rather trapped out there and cut off from society and civilization when visiting with them. I remember once going out to visit and stay with them (having taken the Long Island Railroad out from Penn Station in Manhattan [NYC]to an LIRR station located as close to them as can be (still some miles away) and took a taxi from the LIRR station to my parents’ home (while late-at-night and pitch black out there) and I was saying to the taxicab driver during our ride together:
You know, for the life of me, I just can’t figure out what people see in living out here like this. I mean what is the appeal of it all? It is just so barren of people, has little to no real walkability, is so utterly (seemingly completely) 100% car-dependent (I mean you need to car to do absolutely everything and anything at all out here!!), so devoid of any sense of community or neighborhoodliness, so devoid of culture, etc. etc. etc. Everyone lives in the own little castle surrounded by a moat and with little-to-no neighborliness (or at least out in the parts where my parents reside). You know what? If you offered me a million dollars a year for life to live out here, I’d say to you “Keep it!!!”
That’s truly how I felt and I was even in my late 40s or early 50s when I said that.
YET, when my mother died when I was 54 (with my father having already pre-deceased her), she’d priorly trained me in how to handle and settle all the affairs of my parents and the affairs of the family-at-large and had looked to me to handle it all in the event of her death (though having one other older sibling). Upon being notified of her near-death state (being in a coma from which she never recovered), I left my at-the-time job and, while arranging to have my city apartment (in another state) watched over until being able to move back into my apartment once again at some later date (with my living in a large city in another U.S. state), I moved most of my stuff in a U-Haul truck into her house in Suffolk County, Long Island, NY to stay out there in the house by myself for as long as I had to in order to first arrange a funeral home service and cemetery burial for my mother at the family plot and then to do all that needed to be done to get the house and property fixed up and sold (mostly with my own labor and then otherwise hiring contractors as needed) and to settle the remaining family affairs. It wound up taking me most of a year (about 10 ½ months) of living out there by myself in the distant suburbs of Suffolk County, Long Island, NY to get the house and property fixed up and sold, get all their affair settled, and then to turn the house over to its new owners. And I took over ownership of her car while I was out there all that time (not owning a car of my own at that point-in-time, being a big city dweller in another state at that time) . . . with the point being that I had a house all to myself and on a acre of land and with a car constantly at my avail.
IN SUMMARY, OVER THE COURSE OF STAYING OUT IN LONG ISLAND, NEW YORK FOR MOST OF A YEAR (10 ½ MONTHS), I CAME TO ABSOLUTELY **LOVE** LIVING LIKE THIS. Being ages 54-55 through this 10 ½-month period of residing out in Long Island, NY (and with the greater New York City metro area in proximate commuting distance), it was just wonderful. I was having the time of my life. I hadn’t known that I could, in fact, come to appreciate and even love living like this very very much:
To have a house all to myself and with a good buffer zone of property between myself and all other neighbors;
To have a motor vehicle of whatever type constantly at my avail and to have utter ease-of-parking for said vehicle wherever I’d go with it;
To have relative peace, quiet, tranquility, privacy, safety, space and room-to-breathe as the norm in most settings out there;
To not have to constantly constantly constantly deal with all of society’s assorted miscreants, misfits, malcontents, and other bothersome persons (e.g., a near-constant army of beggars/panhandlers, street preachers, hustlers, and hucksters, noisemakers and troublemakers, those with apparent or obvious criminal intent, and other assorted misbehaving and bothersome fellow citizens of all types) constantly in your face and up your posteriors (unlike what it is too too often like living and/or working in big or even medium or even small-sized cities )
To be in a environment of consistent and uniform cleanliness, kemptness, upkeep of properties and the surrounding environment-at-large, and of overall visual appeal (or enough so, when compared to city life by-and-large);
To have a great plethora of shopping, restaurants and eateries, cultural institutions, public and university/college libraries, entertainment, et al of all types at my avail (as long as you have a car to reach any and all of it in a reliable and timely manner);
To be able to engage in unencumbered driving on wide and open roads in an overall environment built for the car (though there ARE densely-built settings in many suburban regions to partake of as well); and a host of other benefits and advantages.
And, having a car at my constant avail in my 10 ½-month stay in Long Island, NY, USA, I got to actually explore the totality of Long Island, New York (Nassau and Suffolk Counties) and found that, contrary to what I had previously assumed, Long Island, in fact, has much culture and enough densely-built walkable settings as well (towns, villages, hamlets, and even some incorporated cities and has a multitude of settings that are rather urban-like conglomerations). And there is much much entertainment and cultural/recreational venues and opportunities of many types to partake of. Yes, you most often do need (or greatly benefit) from having a car at your avail . . . yet you can choose to live in an urban-like suburb that is designed for density-of-development and to be public-transit-accessible and walkable locales. That is, you don’t necessarily have to live in remote wholly-car-dependent suburban settings.
THE OVERARCHING POINT: One’s needs and wants in their life can often change as life advances. You might well find that you can appreciate the suburban life depending on which suburbs, where exactly you are situated, if you own a motor vehicle or not, how you live out there (with roommates/housemates or alone or if partnered up with a significant other or a marriage partner), and other factors. Note that, even though I am a senior now (in my low 60s per this writing), I am presently single and unattached (just like you are) . . . so I don’t match the description you and some others gave that the suburbs are only for married couples with children -- and yet even I, as a single unmarried male with no children, can appreciate living in select suburbs if chosen judiciously (as long as my income and assets are enough to handle it all and I always own a car).
Yet note that, even if I myself do wind up moving to the suburbs, I would still most likely choose a suburban setting which was in a denser, urban or semi-urban like, transit-accessible and walkable setting rather thana traditional remote spread-out quasi-rural-like bedroom community setting like many suburbs are. My choice would serve as a hybrid choice for me (a compromise on my part, if you will), to give me— at the same time —the benefits of a suburban life while still having the benefits and trappings of an urban-like setting. In essence, an urban-like or semi-urban like suburb. If I want to meet people for friendships or relationships or romance or marriage, I can involve myself in myriad activities which reflect my myriad interests and can otherwise travel to “where the action is” in the suburbs or in the city and then return back to my oasis of peace, quiet, tranquility, privacy, safety, space and room-to-breathe back out in the suburbs.
In summary: As I have advanced in years, I have come to want (to even expect or demand) for my home and the immediate surroundings around my home to be peaceful and quiet. I do NOT want rabble-rousers, partiers, boisterous noisemakers, persons in altered states (by virtue of alcohol and/or drugs) and with all their raging hormones to have to contend with all the time or even at ANY time. In plain English: After all these years, I am absolutely sick-and-tired of having to contend with all that <expletive> nonsense. Let them all hang out and congregate in the denser areas of the suburbs (in entertainment and commercial districts) or in the cities and stay away from my home environment. I don’t care what their age is; I only care about their choices in behavior. Let me having relative peace, quiet, tranquility, privacy, safety, space and room-to-breathe in my home and my immediate surrounding home environment. THAT is what has become most desired and important to me at this age and stage in life (even as a single unattached person just like yourself who still likes to meet people and socialize, and am even prospectively open to being romantically involved once again . . . or even married if it goes in that direction). I still want the benefits of living in the suburbs over living + working + hanging out + carousing and everything else all the time in the inner city.
I hope my views and insights have provided “food-for-thought” for you and others. Not otherwise telling you what you should want nor how to live your life.
You can't just assume that once someone gets married they will want to go back to the suburbs. While that might be true of most married couples, it's not like there aren't married people living in cities, even very dense areas like Manhattan.
You can't just assume that once someone gets married they will want to go back to the suburbs. While that might be true of most married couples, it's not like there aren't married people living in cities, even very dense areas like Manhattan.
Earlier in this thread someone said "back to the suburbs you will want to go" once the OP gets married. I am not aware of any statistic that supports that kind of certain prediction. Maybe the OP if he or she gets married will be in the minority of married couples that do live in urban areas.
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You are single and not a family person
