Help! Trying to move in a pandemic (Chesapeake, Richmond: to rent, crime)

[searchingforserenity]

Ok, I'm going to keep this as brief as I can. We live in a suburb of Columbus, OH and HATE IT! It is soul-crushing and not what we want for ourselves or our kids. We want to move. My husband has been in some part of Ohio for all of his life (with the exception of a few years in Maine) and I have been here since '93. Ohio has changed and it's not for us. We've been looking out of state, and Virginia is what has caught our attention (not too North, not too South, just right!) but with the pandemic and not being able to travel to check things out, we are struggling to figure out where to go. We've been through Virginia - passed through Richmond, stayed in Chesapeake, love Sandbridge, but don't want to live near tourist areas. I have done research up one side and down the other, but nothing compares to the words of those of you who live it and experience it every day. So, to explain why we want to leave and what we are looking for...

Sadly, I can't sugar-coat things and think I am going to get a proper answer, so here goes: reasons we want to leave Columbus - too big, too hostile, too busy -especially in the burbs, no value for human life, unfriendly as hell, huge school districts, "meh" school districts, no trees, soulless people, only affordable homes in low-crime areas are tract subdivisions (which make us sad) or in the Trump-laden, huge truck driving, pj pant wearing, cigarette smoking, foul language screaming at your family as we try to take a walk, closed-minded, disgusting town we are in now. Phew. I'm sure there is more, but that about sums it up.

What we want: access to do interesting things with our kids within 1-2 hours drive (Columbus has a ton of stuff to do, but it is never easy and ALWAYS packed),
safe area where we feel comfortable having our kids outside to play,
good schools,
our home to be in a quiet place where we don't feel like we are on display for the neighbors and have a little space (1/2 acre+),
access to nature - bike trails, (walkability to parks or library would be awesome, but not necessary),
the ability to take a family walk or ride our bikes around the area without being called "F*gg*t" or "b**ch" and without our elementary daughter being cat-called by "adult" males driving by in their trucks. Yes, it sounds absurd, but it has all happened and almost every time we try to do these things in our "neighborhood" Keep in mind, our "neighborhood" is set up to be walkable to schools and the downtown area of our suburb but is absolutely not ideal.
We love art, culture, music, nature, etc. but also want a quiet and relaxed daily life. We need and ease of living. There is no ease to living here. And it is taking a toll.

We can't spend too much more than about $250,000 since we will be starting new jobs (not sure where yet - we're teachers and want to live and work close to each other). We are moderate democrats and have nothing against traditional Republicans (big fans of John McCain for example) but CAN'T continue to be surrounded by Trump supporters and conspiracy theorists. I am not interested in getting into a political debate, I just need to be honest and upfront about what our needs are and where we would feel comfortable. You tell me an area is huge into Trump and we just won't go to that area - we've learned our lesson here. Honestly, we'd welcome an area that doesn't give a crap about politics and just wants to treat each other nicely and enjoy life. That being said, we don't have any idea where to look. We love craftsman style and mid-century homes, trees are a must (we live in fields over here). We feed off the vibe of an area on a social-emotional level and just want some peace and kindness. That's where I'll leave it (you know, for the sake of brevity! LOL)

Thanks in advance!

[Parnassia]

Where your new jobs end up being will dictate so much of this. No matter how ideal any location is, if you can't find employment how will that work?

[choff5]

A lot of rural Virginia is still Trump country. The closer you are to suburban areas, the less of that, such as Charlottesville or Richmond. No. Virginia is out if your price range. I’d try to find the jobs first.

[searchingforserenity]

I think that is where we are running into trouble. We know we definitely have to have jobs lined up before even thinking about moving, but we are trying to narrow down where to look for jobs so that we don't end up in an area that is not welcoming or conducive to the life we are looking for. It does us no good to move across states if we are going to end up in the same type of situation we are in here. Are the rural areas "Trump country" or just traditional Republicans? Like I said, we would love to be in an area with like-minded people but would love for that to go beyond politics, which we are frankly, quite tired of. Thanks for your input!

[ersatz]

The environment you describe where you currently live does sound bad, I can see why you are fed up with it and want to move elsewhere. I agree with choff5. There are areas in Virginia that come close to what you say you are looking for, and houses that meet your current budget, but those two things are usually mutually exclusive. The more attractive and safe an area is, with good schools and plenty of cultural opportunities, the more other people are willing to pay to live there.

Outside of Charlottesville or Richmond might be possible if you are willing to rent. I would add Staunton, the New River Valley (Roanoke, Christiansburg, Blacksburg, Radford), and possibly Lynchburg and Harrisonburg. I think you should also check out Asheville NC.

As you get further outside any town limit, you will find people trend more conservative. However, you can find other moderate people around if you make an effort to get around and meet them. That applies back in Ohio where you are also currently looking, as well as Virginia. Line up jobs and rent for a few years. The children won't stay young forever. Eventually, you will be able to downsize, and decide if the area is your forever home. By then you should have saved up more money and know the area well enough to find a better buying opportunity, if you still wish.

[YorktownGal]

Originally Posted by choff5

A lot of rural Virginia is still Trump country. The closer you are to suburban areas, the less of that, such as Charlottesville or Richmond. No. Virginia is out if your price range. I’d try to find the jobs first.

Agreed.

I'm in Williamsburg, homes are being sold within a couple of days with multiple offers. The prices of houses are reaching all time highs.

You might want to try Maine. It sounds like it would go well with your vibe.

[Bigfoot424]

Don't let folks scare you away with the "Trump" stuff. Yes, Trump drew larger numbers in rural VA but in many areas it was closer than you might think. The further south and west you go in VA the larger the numbers and more likely you may find some issues with those not agreeing with your lifestyle. But further up 81 along the Blue Ridge you stay in still affordable areas and in more "mixed" areas politically. I am near Woodstock and this area has plenty of liberals or conservatives like me who cannot stand the likes of Trump or the extreme liberalism we're now seeing in VA politics. But my past is LE and I pay attention to people, arrests and so on and it is very rare when you hear of any issues people pay have due to their lifestyles. Example: Two local men I know. Both work for a local grocery store. One resigned and went to another job but the 2nd is still there. Both were very easily recognizable as gay and both are very popular with the store employees and locals. Both are very nice and get along with us all. Maybe 20 years ago they may have some issues with some local rednecks but you just do not hear of it now. People may call them names at times but I know people with Trump hats and so on were called names once in a while or those with a Biden hat were called names once in a while. Several very good friends at church are liberal and not once has this conservative church ever done/said anything to them to get them to leave. One has been there for over 30 years. Point being. Don't let the country scare you away as this is where you may find the most affordable living in VA.

[choff5]

Bigfoot is right. While I did say the rural area is Trump land, it doesn’t mean it’s the big issue unless, I guess, you make it to be. I am not a Trump lover at all but I can live with the Trump signs I still see in peoples yards. I see and deal with kind, generous people, and while I don’t spout my beliefs, they don’t either, and we get along fine. I guess a lot of it will depend on a person’s tolerance.

[Serious Conversation]

Even in southwest VA, there are towns like Abingdon that might fit. While it's a red county, it's fairly sophisticated and well-to-do for the area.